Twice in a Lifetime

Evil Twin

How did I end up in this place yet again?

I swore that I would never come back here.

I sure do know how to pick them.

You know the kind of man that before it is all said and done will leave your

heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

First, it was Roger. Ah, Roger, Sweet, Sweet, Roger.

My heart still aches when I think about your name.

Why did it have to end the way that it did?

Why couldn't we have had the proverbial white picket fence relationship with the

2.2 children. But No!

You wanted to take off into space and to heck with me and our dreams. That could

wait. Well, it didn't did it Roger, dear?

You're dead and where does that leave me, Huh? How is that fair to me? What was

I suppose to do with the love I felt for you. You Selfish, Egoistical,

Brilliant, Long fingered, Soft handed, Sweet talking know how to say the right

thing to get me to forgive you Man!

And then came You! You! Spock!

I don't want to be in love with you! I can't be in with you!

I don't want my heart to be pulverized into a fine dust and blown away by a

thoughtless word from you.

I can fall forever into those dark brown eyes. They remind me of bittersweet

chocolate frosting that my mother put on the cake for dessert that she told me

not to touch, but I snuck a quick taste while her back was turned. It tasted so

good that forbidden sweet that makes your toes curl in your shoes.

I always felt like I was cheating on Roger when I looked at you while we

searching for him. I always got a secret tingle whenever you would walk briskly

by. You always made me aware that I was a woman. I know that was unconsciously

in your part.

I tried my best to ignore whatever it was that was going on between us. But

it would not go away. It took on a life of its own. It was always

whispering secret things in the background that you could barely hear. Things

that we both chose to ignore.

How I wish I could turn back the clock and chose another ship and never have met

you. I would have save myself so much heartache. How could one choice carry so

much life altering power in it. What a difference another week, day, or month

would have made in my life.

Loving you is liking pulling off a bandage. You have a choice. You can pull it

off slowly thinking that if you take your time that it will hurt less, but you

know in your heart that you are lying to yourself. The second choice is to snatch

it off quickly and feel the excoriating pain that makes your eyes water and your

mind go blank, but you know that this sensation will only last for a few

moments. Either way is going to hurt no matter what way you do it.

Love is such a complicated thing. I wish! I wish! I wish that I could unplug

myself from my emotions like you say that you can, then you couldn't hurt me.

You don't deserve my love. Can't you see that I am all the woman that you need

and more? I have lost so much wasting my time loving you.

Wasting my time. Wasting my time. Have I really wasted my time?

If I am honest with myself, I am one fortunate woman! My life would not have

been as rich as it is, if you had not been in my life.

It is true that I might not have felt the pain of loving you, but neither would

I have felt the joy of loving you. Now that would have been a loss of a

lifetime.

I would have missed knowing the unique being that you are. The Complicated,

Frustrating, Sexy, Confounding, Astounding, Make me want to be your Private

Dancer kind of Person that you are.

I am truly privileged to KNOW LOVE TWICE IN A LIFETIME!