DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The poem is the creation and property of Good Twin/Evil Twin and is copyright (c) 2003 by Good Twin/Evil.
I know that I promised myself the last time I wrote in you that I would be over him.
I really mean it this time. Let me tell what happened today.
I tried not to stare in his direction. I tried not to even let him know that I noticed he was in the room.
I know he could hear my heart racing as he walked past me. I could feel the sweat running down my back as he came closer. I pretended to be busy with my work. I just know that he saw right through my attempt at not noticing him.
All he did was slightly nod in my direction and he kept going on his way.
I know that I just stood there like an idiot with this stupid smile on my face. I was so embarrassed that a few of my friends saw me looking like a fool. But at least, dear journal, they spared me any ridicule. They all just looked at me with pity in their eyes. I just wanted to die right where I stood.
I have to stop this from happening again. I am a full grown woman not a teenager. I know that I control my emotions. I just have to try harder. I know that I can do this, if I put my mind to it.
These feelings are self-destructive. Look at me. My hands are shaking as I sit here just thinking about him. Woman, you just have to get a hold on yourself.
I know that I may not be the prettiest woman in the universe, but I am not ugly either. Men are attracted to me. I have offers all the time that I turn down, because of him. Boy, am I stupid. He couldn't care less who I date.
I know that I am not dumb. I would not have had the advances in my career, if I was not capable of handling really tough problems. I know that I have good qualities that are a plus in my corner. I DO NOT HAVE TO SETTLE FOR JUST TOM, DICK OR HARRY. I have a lot going for me.
That's it. I AM NOT GOING TO BE IN LOVE WITH HIM ANYMORE. There are other fish in the sea and I have the right bait to catch them. So there!! That's his loss and someone else's gain. I am through with putting my life on hold because of him. I am going to go out there today and start anew. I am banishing all thoughts of him as of right now.
Poof! Pow! Begone! No more thoughts of him. Just you wait and see dear journal. The next time I write in you things are going to be different. Just you watch and see. Out with the old and in with the new.
I saw him today. He actually raised an eyebrow at me.
Damn!!!! I AM IN LOVE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!