DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of T'Kuht and is copyright (c) 2001 by T'Kuht. This story is Rated PG-13.
"Weellcome to Let's Make a Date. The show where we unite one lovely bachelorette with one lucky bachelor by the end of the segment. Tonight we have three confirmed bachelors vying for the attention of a singularly exceptional lady. Let's introduce our lovely miss..."
Christine Chapel had to be dragged out to the spotlight where she instantly froze with a grin on her face. Nyota Uhura and Janice Rand stood in the wings waving, little mischievous smiles on their faces.
"Our first questioner is a CO at Starfleet headquarters and a doctor of xenophysiology, bio-research, and bio-chemistry. She loves to cook and chum around with her friends. Well, hello..." Chuck Flash-heart said and held Christine's hand as she stepped up to the small elevated seat.
She smiled and answered, "Hello."
"Are you ready to make a date?"
She nodded and held up the questions that Uhura and Rand had composed without her knowledge to the camera. Mindful that this was going out on broadband width and being viewed by most of the quadrant, she maintained that air of calm assurance that she faced every crisis with. A panel beside her revealed three forms, completely in shadow and within their own little cubicles. They could hear her, she could hear them, but could neither see them nor they the others. All the voices were scrambled as well to give even more anonymity.
She was cued to ask the first question, and she began without pre-reading it, "Hello, bachelors. Uh, I like to try new sexual positions and in exotic places. Where would you suggest we go and do on our first ... date?" She nearly choked on the words before remembering to keep the grin plastered on her face.
Bachelor Number One immediately answered, "We'd go to this little place I know. Has great atmosphere. There's a cozy booth for two that converts to a bed. Perfectly private ... there'd be no one else."
She cleared her throat and squirmed in her seat. "Okay, number two, how about you?"
A hesitation. "I believe it would be inappropriate to engage in sexual relations until we had known each other for a period of time longer than it takes to eat a meal. As for the location, a concert at a park would be acceptable."
Christine glanced over at her two friends. What kind of a nutty show was this? He sounded like a computer... "Bachelor number 3?"
"Aye, there'd be soft music, candles, a comfortable blanket, and us. We'd finish a meal of steak and kidneys, enjoy a bottle of two hundred year old Scotch, and I'd show you a tour of my engines."
"Engines..." she mouthed. For some reason he seemed awfully familiar. Shaking her head, she tried question number 2. "Okay, I like to dress for my men. What would you like me to wear?"
Bachelor Number 1 pounced. "I'd like to see you in a filmy negligee with a feather boa, matching slippers and nothing underneath."
"Clothes would be appropriate."
She smiled. Number 2 was definitely more her style. "Number 3?"
"A nice satin outfit that would highlight those lovely eyes you must have. One that would hug the curves and show off all your assets to advantage."
"That sounds nice... Last question. Do you prefer women who are smart or beautiful?"
"I like women, all kinds of women."
Number two answered, "Since beauty is a fleeting momentary state, it would be preferable to have brains."
"All righty, number 3?"
"Brains and beauty. Why settle for less than the best of both?"
Chuck Flash-heart broke in. "We'll be right back with our decision after this commercial break."
The off-camera light came on, and she glared at Uhura and Rand. "What have you two done? You make me sound like a floozy!"
Rand came over quickly while she could. "Pick number one, he sounds the best..."
Uhura interrupted, "No, no, number three. Number two sounds so boring it's not even funny."
"Thanks for the input. Remind me to serve you a couple of toadstool sandwiches when this is over..."
Cameras on in ten, nine, eight, seven.... The other two scurried back to their behind the scenes spot.
Chuck Flash-heart beamed at the camera. "To recap, we have a lovely mature bachelorette ready to chose her dream date for this evening's entertainment at Chez DePaulle for an expense paid meal and show and who knows afterward..."
Christine had narrowed her eyes at the term 'mature'. It was a polite way to say she was a senior old maid. Flashing Flash-heart with her best bedside manner, she laughed a little. "Well, I've made up my mind."
"Don't keep our men in suspense. Which one's going to be so lucky to get you?"
"Bachelor ... number 2. He sounded like he was the most sensible, down to Earth individual."
"Number 2, well, let's reveal the ones you didn't pick to see what she's gonna miss."
The booth lights lit booth number 1. Christine tried not to giggle. Captain James T. Kirk came down the steps to meet her with just as surprised a look on his face. "Christine?"
"Oh, my god ... a booth that converts to a bed..." She laughed, remembering his response. Booth number 3 lit up and one shy formidable Scotsman appeared. He was equally astonished. She laughed harder. "Tour of your engines... Mr. Scott!"
"Lass, what are you doing here?"
Before they could have a jolly reunion, she suddenly remembered the computer in booth number 2.
"And now, for your date for the evening..."
The booth lights came up to reveal one annoyed Vulcan. The only reason he had even considered coming along was to humor McCoy. He had been assured that he would not be chosen if he remained true to his character. That became the reason he was chosen. The cubicle opened and allowed him to descend the steps. His upswept eyebrows at the sight of the former ship's physician said volumes. As that portion of the show wrapped up and they were led off set, the six comrades joined forces. "You three..."
The women were just as stunned. "You three..."
"But McCoy," they all chorused and with a movement as one unit, they turned to see the man approaching them.
"Y'all are so funny..." he began.
"And you are so dead," Christine threatened.
Spock pushed ahead of her. "Allow me..."
"Oh, Doctor, you are so gonna regret that idea you had about joining Starfleet," Christine said and kept advancing toward one of her best friends.
"Now, now, no harm done. We're all friends and it was just a lark. You know, a little joke. How'd I know that you were gonna pick him..."
"Yeah, how'd you know? Rand wanted me to pick the Captain, and Uhura Scotty. So what ... was Spock a ringer?"
She got done with her tirade and the others realized that the evening was simply inevitable. It had always been coming, but McCoy had just helped it along. She turned to the others. "Why fight fate? Captain Spock ... unfortunately, you are stuck with me."
Spock bowed indifferently. "On the contrary, it would be a pleasure to escort you to our destination."
A smile that was honest and genuine brightened her features and she laughed. "All right. Come on, let's all go to Chez DePaulle's for the evening and have a good time."
The group paired up except for McCoy who hung back. They motioned for her to come along. "No, you go ahead. I'm gonna wait around to see who loses in the next segment. I might make a date myself..."