Disclaimer: Star Trek is the property of Paramount/Viacom. This story is the creation of SterJulie and is copyright © 2006 by SterJulie. Rated PG.
Time to Say Goodbye Suite #5 -- Wonder of Wonders
Amanda had been pacing at the large window overlooking her vast gardens, searching for calm as she waited for word about Spock, and concentrating so strongly on that search for serenity that she did not hear her name being called.
"Amanda?" Sarek called again. "Aduna?"
Amanda shook herself out of her reverie and launched herself at her husband.
"What word do you have?" she wanted to ask, but the light in Sarek's eyes spoke volumes.
"Our son waits in the front portico," the ambassador said.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Amanda exploded.
"First," Sarek cautioned, "a warning. High Master T'Lar told me that Spock must find his own memories. He must be allowed to remember people and places on his own, without our help."
Sarek thought back to Spock's shipmates. He would never admit it, but Sarek was impressed at the restraint Spock's shipmates had shown in allowing Spock to find his own way.
Amanda looked into Sarek's eyes as he spoke and marveled at the light gleaming from her beloved adun's eyes. She remembered back a few days ago when she was staying with T'Pau. The matriarch had been speaking to her about plans for Spock's funeral when Amanda felt her marriage bond suddenly start to vibrate and then to sing: He's alive... He's alive... He's alive... He'saliveHe'saliveHe'saliveHe'salive!
T'Pau received confirmation shortly thereafter that Spock's body had been found, regenerated and alive.
Then Amanda received a similar call from Sarek. Not only had Spock's body been found, but his katra had been located as well. There was a possibility that the two could be refused and Spock returned to them, not only alive, but also whole. The exciting news proved to be too much for her and she collapsed. Fortunately for Amanda, Doctor Chapel, who had arrived shortly after Sarek had left, was staying with her by the Ambassador's insistence. Christine was at Amanda's side at her collapse, examined her and declared her to be fine. She just needed rest in a more suitable environment. T'Pau instructed Christine to take Amanda back to their home so that she could utilize the "cool room" Sarek had constructed for her.
After Admiral Kirk and crew had returned Spock's body and katra to Vulcan, and after the fal tor pan, Sarek offered hospitality and sanctuary at his vast estate. He turned over the comfort and care of the Starfleet officers to Doctor Chapel. The others did not seem surprised to see her there, which intrigued Sarek. But there would be time enough for that tale another day.
At that moment, Sarek wished to accompany Spock as he prowled his childhood home.
"What is this place, Sa-mekh?" Spock asked as he stood in front of his family's impressive home.
"You know this place, my son," Sarek said.
"It is very bright here," Spock observed.
Sarek peered into his son's face. He could feel a perplexed psychic buzzing from Spock as he struggled to understand. "Do you need to take my hand, Little One?"
"I don't understand what's going on, Sa-mekh," Spock replied in a small voice.
"You are confused, my son," Sarek soothed. "What do you remember?"
"It ... It is all a jumble," he replied "I remember that I was the only one able to help, but then all is silence." Spock shifted uncomfortably. "It is as though I am looking back at from where I have come but I cannot see my path."
"You need not look back, Spock-kam," Sarek consoled. "Let us only look forward."
"My katra forgets how to sing, Sa-Sa," Spock worried.
"I will teach you how to sing again, Little One," Sarek continued. "There is much to sing about now. Remember, this is your Sa-mekh's job: to ease your fears, to teach you the way of c'thia, and to keep you safe."
"I feel so small and the confusion is so big," Spock worried.
"We will all help you, Spock," Sarek continued.
"But how will I be able to learn the answers to my questions, Sa- Sa?" Spock asked. "I must relearn everything."
"We will do all we can for you," Sarek explained, "all of us: your mother, your friends, and myself. We will all help you, Little One."
Spock studied Sarek a moment. "Why did you insist on the fal tor pan?" Spock asked.
"I had to try, Spock-kam," Sarek replied. "I had to try. I could not release you. How could I let go of my heart?" Sarek motioned to the house. "Let us start here," he suggested.
* * *
Amanda was puttering about in her garden, as she did every day in the coolest part of the morning. As she worked, Amanda marveled over the miracle that had occurred. Spock was alive! The fal tor pan had worked, to a point. As much as she wanted to seek out Spock and clutch him to herself once more, she knew that she should allow Spock to come to her. So, Amanda puttered. She found these actions to be therapeutic and relaxing.
* * *
Sarek delivered Spock to the garden where he knew Amanda was working. He watched as Spock was drawn to the petite woman working in the shade. Amanda had not noticed her son's approach. /Turn around,/ Sarek sent gently along the bond to Amanda, not wanting Spock's quiet approach to startle her.
Amanda was hard pressed not to spin around and scoop her son into her arms. She drank in the sight of him, white robed and with shaggy, unkempt hair. Amanda was reminded of her tousled-headed little boy, roused too soon from his bed for his first day of school. She watched as her son prowled around the flower garden, touching, sniffing, and observing all that he could find there. Spock moved to the Zen-like garden that he had helped to build when he was a toddler. He took a lapis stone from a dish and held it up between them.
"Blue," he said in an uncertain voice, just as he had said to her oh so many years ago, his first word. He held the stone at Amanda's eye level. "Blue," he repeated with more confidence.
"Yes, Spock," Amanda breathed, smiling easily.
Spock looked intently at this woman with the tantalizingly familiar face. He knew her, he knew that he knew her. "Ko-mekh?" he breathed. "Mother?"
"Oh, yes, Spock!" she whispered.
Spock looked at the human woman. He knew she looked fragile as a flower, but he also knew she could be formidable as a lematya with cubs.
Amanda looked on in amazement as a smile broke out on Spock's face, the one he kept only for her yet rarely brought to light. Amanda saw the recent pains fall away from her son, and the bright promise of a new life shine in his eyes.
"I have come to say ... hello."