Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything. This story is copyright (c) 2004 by SterJulie. Rated PG.
I BELIEVE I HAVE SOMETHING OF YOURS
It was on his fourth trip of the day to Sickbay that Spock realized that he was obsessed with Lieutenant Uhura.
Earlier in the day, the space probe known as Nomad had erased Uhura's mind as it tried to download information from her brain to the probe's "brain." Nurse Chapel had taken the frightened, vulnerable lieutenant in hand and was attempting to re-educate her. That morning, Uhura could barely comprehend the pre-primers. By his third trip, Spock had noticed that Uhura had progressed quickly to simple textbooks.
Spock walked away, shaking his head. There should be an easier way of "reprogramming" Uhura. After all, what were humans, and Vulcans, too, for that matter, but organic machines?
Not surprised, Spock found it difficult to concentrate on his meditations that night. The image of Lt. Uhura struggling over simple words like "ball" and "blue" unnerved him.
Perhaps… Perhaps Nomad shared Uhura's knowledge with Spock during the mind meld. If he could isolate that data and those memories, maybe, maybe Spock could return them to Uhura.
Preposterous! Spock thought, dismissing the whole idea. Shades of fal-tor-pan, and we know that is only in legend.
Spock squirmed on the meditation pad as he battled himself. What if I am Lt. Uhura's only hope? My inaction would have her continue this ignominious attempt to regain what she lost, when by a simple mind-meld I could restore her!
And who appointed me her savior? the inner argument continued. The unwanted, undesired intimacy of it all!
Be honest. There is interest. There is even desire. No bond restricts me. I am free to choose. Could I do any better than Uhura? Spock took a deep breath. I think not.
The inner struggle continued. It has been too soon since T'Pring's treachery. And Uhura is too vulnerable to approach on matters of the heart right now. Another deep breath, nearly a sigh. I would have to separate out all my attraction for her and seal it up tightly before I dare attempt this.
Spock rose from his meditations and moved to his desk. He rearranged his schedule so that he had the next day free. Spock then sent a communiqué to Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy to tell them of his plans. He ate a light supper and prepared to sleep. Spock knew that he needed his strength and a clear mind in order to perform the lengthy preparation meditations and the deep meld.
* * *
So many shades of green!
The flora, the fauna were all so diverse and so plentiful. UhuraSpock threw out her spindly brown arms and twirled round and round in a clearing with her sister until they both fell down giggling under the yellow sun and blue sky.
These are not my memories, Spock thought. I do not recognize this place. And I have no sister.
I am dreaming, Spock realized. My mind could not wait for morning and it is already separating out Uhura's memories from my own.
UhuraSpock scrambled off the mossy mound where she and her sister had fallen and moved to the nearby stream. Looking into the rippling water, UhuraSpock wondered at her mahogany skin, her large brown eyes, her small, rounded ears, and her dazzling smile, all crowned with a mass of ebony curls.
"What a beautiful child!"
"Nyota Penda Uhura!" her sister replied. UhuraSpock hadn't realized that she had come up beside her to gaze into the water or that she had spoken aloud. "Who do you think you are? A queen? A fairy princess? Mama says that you will get proud as a peacock if you stare at your own face too much!"
"Mama is very wise," UhuraSpock replied.
After a while, UhuraSpock turned on her back. The blue sky and yellow sun were gone, replaced by a wash of stars across a velvet night.
"Do you have to leave tomorrow, NyNy?" her sister asked. UhuraSpock looked down at herself. Where once had been a flat-chested girl who had twirled amongst the flowers, now a curvaceous, brown beauty reclined under the stars. She marveled at her small hands with the graceful fingers, and perfect nails, even then!
"Why the stars, Ny?" her sister asked. "You will be so far away and I will be afraid for you!"
"Silly girl!" UhuraSpock chided. "People are only afraid of what they do not understand, and how can they understand if they do not talk to each other?" UhuraSpock looked again at the stars with wonder. "I am going to help all the people talk to each other, in all the worlds. Then we won't have to be so afraid."
UhuraSpock turned over suddenly.
"Chedu, you are not listening to me! I said no!" A lithe, bronzed youth wrestled with UhuraSpock, his goal obvious. "I am not ready!"
"Oh, Nyota! I am ready for both of us!" Obviously, UhuraSpock thought as the young man tried to flip them both over once more. "If anything happens later, you can take care of it." That did it! UhuraSpock saw red. One well-placed knee in a swollen groin gained UhuraSpock her freedom.
Spock stood over the writhing form of the young man and vowed to never, ever anger Uhura. She obviously could take care of herself.
"Grow up, Chedu!" UhuraSpock rebuked. "Starfleet is about helping others, not helping ourselves!"
The scene changed from Earth to the transporter room of the Enterprise. UhuraSpock shyly cast her young, wide eyes about, taking it all in. She had garnered a position on THE ship, the ship of all ships, the flagship of the Federation.
"Welcome aboard the Enterprise, gentlebeings," said a rich, baritone and alien voice. UhuraSpock peered through her thick lashes at the Vulcan First Officer.
Is that how she sees me? Spock wondered. The Spock of Uhura's dreams had fuller hair, a darker visage, and a more muscular body. The stern gaze he directed to the rest of the new crew softened considerably when he looked at her.
UhuraSpock turned in her personnel file diskette to the dream Vulcan and accepted one in return from him with her room assignment, ship schedule, and duty roster.
UhuraSpock gasped when her fingers brushed the dream Vulcan's for a nanosecond. Fire coursed up her arm straight to her heart.
Love at first sight! Spock thought. Now I realized what Mother tried to tell me so long ago. Spock paused and thought some more. I don't recall touching Lt. Uhura when she came aboard. I do remember a spark of static electricity touched us both. Perhaps that is what she remembers.
The room around them changed from the transporter room to the Bridge. UhuraSpock walked up to the command chair and leaned her arms against the side. UhuraSpock marveled at how young the dream Spock looked, and more alien, almost a caricature of Spock's self- image.
"Miss Uhura," the dream Spock stated, "your last sub-space log contained an error in the frequencies column." UhuraSpock pouted her lower lip.
"Sometimes I think if I hear "frequency" again, I'll cry," she said.
"Cry?" replied the dream Spock.
"I was just trying to start a conversation." UhuraSpock watched as the dream Vulcan showed absolute confusion at the communication officer's statement.
"Well, since it is illogical for a communications officer to resent the word 'frequency,' I have no answer."
"No, you have an answer. I'm an illogical woman who's beginning to feel ... too much a part of that communications console." UhuraSpock batted her long lashes and looked dreamily into space.
Spock remembered his reaction at this moment, how he pulled at his collar. Don't stand so near me! Spock had begged mentally. I am pledged to another! As he reflected on this scene, Spock realized that this was the first moment that he had acknowledged an attraction to the very lovely Uhura. He had simply allowed himself to notice her a few weeks prior in the Transporter Room.
"Why don't you tell me I'm an attractive young lady," UhuraSpock continued, "or ask me if I've ever been in love? Tell me how your planet Vulcan looks when the moon is full."
"Vulcan has no moon, Miss Uhura," dream Spock replied. UhuraSpock rolled her eyes at him.
"I'm not surprised, Mr. Spock."
The scene changed again, this time from the Bridge to the Rec Room. Dream Spock had his Vulcan harp on his lap and was playing. UhuraSpock found herself leaning over a table listening to Janice Rand and that peculiar boy Charlie Evans. UhuraSpock couldn't know how she was presenting herself to the dream UhuraSpock, giving him a good look at the curve of her hips and the length of her legs as she leaned on that table.
Seeming to sense his gaze, UhuraSpock turned coyly to the dream self and exchanged a few inane words. The dream Vulcan began to play a tune for UhuraSpock to sing.
"Oh, on the starship Enterprise
There's someone who's in Satan's guise
Whose devil ears and devil eyes
Could rip your heart from you"
"At first, his look could hypnotize
And then his touch would barbarize
His alien love could victimize
And rip your heart from you"
"And that's why female astronauts
Oh, very female astronauts
Wait terrified and overwrought
To find what he will do"
"Oh, girls in space, be wary
Be wary, be wary
Girls in space, be wary
We know not what he'll do"
Spock was appalled. Not at the lyrics, but at himself. Did he really emote so during that incident? Spock saw his dream self smirking, smiling and rolling his eyes. Not possible! Spock thought. I'll have to check the security archives.
And so on it went through Spock's sleep period. His subconscious tripped through Uhura's memories as if they were his own. Seeing himself as Uhura saw him was a real eye-opener for Spock. He was also able to honestly assess his, dare he say it, feelings for the communications officer.
Spock rose, stretched the sleep from his body, and began the meditations that would do several things. First, he had to gather all of his feelings for Uhura and secret them away. He did not want to frighten the lieutenant when he melded with her, nor did he want to give her false hopes.
Secondly, he had to painstakingly sift through the memory of his meld with Nomad and weed out all of Uhura's memories, or at least as many as he could access. This would be a tedious process, likely to take most of the morning.
* * *
It was 14:00 hours before Spock emerged from his quarters. His body cried out for rest, but he had to perform his sacred duty first.
Steepling his hands before him as if he was carrying a fragile treasure, Spock walked reverently to Sickbay. He had already spoken to Nurse Chapel and informed her of the need for monitoring them both during the arduous meld. He'd even taught her a safe word, kroykah, that would bring him out of the meld quickly if the need arose.
Spock found Uhura in a small room with Chapel discreetly standing by. Spock looked into Uhura's lovely face and allowed a smile to crinkle his eyes.
He sat in front of her and lightly stroked her face from hairline to jaw until he felt her relax at her touch. She turned her vulnerable gaze toward him.
After this meld, Spock thought to himself, I will make time to acquaint myself with this fascinating person. But now, I must begin. All of my mothers, all of my fathers, all my relations, give me strength. Guide my steps along this path as I return to this woman what was taken from her.
Spock spoke then, his voice even deeper than normal, and ever so gentle.
"I believe I have something of yours."