DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of T'Sia and is copyright (c) 2004 by T'Sia. This story is rated G.



SILENT VOWS

T'Sia

Silence enclosed the high mountain plateau. Deep down in the valley below lay the desert city of Shi'Khar. Buzzing with activity during the day, it lay silent at the feet of the L'langon mountains during the late evening hours giving the illusion of peace and serenity.

The figure that stood on the plateau was outwardly also giving the illusion of peace.

Face carefully controlled he seemed to regard the scene below him, but in reality his eyes were focused on his inner world. A world full of conflicting emotions that his flawlessly logical mind desperately tried to sort out.

He had come out to this place to reach the calm that he always found here, but the painful events of the day had prevented him from finding his inner peace. Meditation had only served to cover the whirling emotions inside him with a thin layer of calmness. Beneath, they were like lava flowing under a cooled surface; always the same questions threatening to break it open and allow the emotions to flow.

Could he have done something to prevent what had happened? Or had he been blinded by his pride about a son whose telepathic and intellectual abilities were beyond those of most Vulcans?

Kaiidth! What was, was. The Council had announced its decision in the late afternoon leaving Sybok with the obligation to leave Vulcan immediately and never return home again, and his father with the bitter duty of declaring his firstborn son dead to the clan and to all of Vulcan. His records were to be deleted from all files, and his name was never to be spoken out loud again.

Just a few hours ago he had seen him for the last time. Sybok was collecting his personal belongings from his room at the estate leaving behind his home and a younger brother who had difficulties suppressing his grief; a grief his father felt too, but would never admit or show openly.

The last rays of sunlight touched Sarek's face as Vulcan's red glowing sun disappeared behind the mountains. The distant cry of a le'matya pulled him out of his thoughts. It was time to leave. The night was closing in fast and with it the desert predators would be preparing for the hunt. But instead of leaving he stayed where he was, rooted to the spot. When the sunlight was no more then a soft glow, he could clearly make out the lights of the shuttles arriving and departing Shi'Khar's spaceport.

The voice of the le'matya was heard again, closer this time. Absently, Sarek calculated the time he had before the hunting cat would reach him. He had to admit that restoring his inner peace had not been the only reason for visiting this place. Only thirty-five seconds remained before Sybok's shuttle would be leaving.

He knew it was illogical to endanger his life by waiting to view the shuttle but it didn't matter to him now. The last words he spoke to Sybok were the ritual words spoken to a family member that was to be cast out of the clan.

After that, he was not permitted to speak to Sybok again but he would not miss the opportunity to bid his son a final silent farewell--his own way of coping with his recent loss. After what seemed like an eternity he could make out the lights of the departing shuttle taking his son from him forever. They grew faint rapidly as the shuttle sped into the night. Then they were gone and the moment of goodbye was over. It was time to let go of the past and return to his wife and the son he still had.

The scratching sound of claws on solid rock coming from behind him snatched him back to reality and Sarek quickly pulled out his communicator from one of the deep pockets of his robe and told the computer to beam him home. Seconds later he materialized outside his Shi'Khar residence. The house lay quiet and dark before him. Silence engulfed him as he entered save for the ticking sound of the antique pendulum clock that had been a wedding gift from Amanda's grandmother.

Silently he climbed the steps to the second floor. To his left the door to his study stood partially open and he thought he may give meditation another try. It was time to control the disturbing feelings and restore the calmness his mind craved. He knew he would only reach this calmness during meditation, as was Vulcan custom. With determination he took the two steps to his study when his acute hearing picked up a rustling noise coming from Spock's room. He stopped in his tracks and listened. After a few seconds the rustling sound was heard again followed by a muffled murmur. Thinking his son could be ill he approached the door to his room and opened it.

In the light of T'Kuht, Vulcan's sister planet, he was able to make out the shape of his sleeping son tossing restlessly in his bed. Concerned Spock could have developed a fever, he approached the bed and reached out a hand to touch the child's head. At that moment Spock murmured in his sleep again. "Sybok, no go, Father." He moved his head to the other side and Sarek was able to make out the track of a tear across his son's cheek glistening in T'Kuht's silvery light.

Sarek's hand, still hovering above the child's head, trembled slightly as he watched his son's vulnerable expression. To his own amazement he lowered it to touch the boy's cheek and gently wiped away the tear. Establishing a light meld, he settled Spock's mind into a deep, restful sleep and withdrew his hand. Silently he regarded his sleeping child. While touching Spock's mind he had felt the depth of his love for his brother mixed with a kaleidoscope of other emotions. Emotions. The word echoed in his head. They had led Sybok on a dangerous way and forced him to give up his home and family.

A pain stabbed his side when he thought of the possibility of losing Spock in the same way.

'Control,' he admonished himself. That would not happen. He would make sure that Spock learned to strictly control his emotions and not be overpowered by them. He would receive the best mental training and Sarek, himself, would monitor his progress. It seemed to be the only logical solution. It was vital that Spock learn to control his emotions and never allow them to control his actions. Having finished his silent vow to himself, he took a deep breath. Making sure that Spock rested peacefully, he left the room.

Pausing briefly in the hall, he abandoned the thought of meditation and moved directly to the master bedroom. He cast a quick glance at his sleeping wife while he made his way to the adjoining bathroom. He was pleased to see that she seemed to rest peacefully. Sarek knew that she had a close connection to Sybok too, and the day's events were difficult for her as well. Leaving the bathroom a short time later he disrobed and got into bed. He settled into a comfortable sleeping position and closed his eyes.

When she was sure that he was asleep, Amanda sat up in bed silently and regarded her husband. The events of the day had obviously taken their toll on him too. There was no other explanation for him to not know that she was awake and that he was broadcasting his thoughts across the marriage bond. Being human, her telepathic abilities were limited and under normal circumstances she would not easily be able to shield her thoughts from him and feign sleep. What she had perceived through the bond concerned her. She knew that Sarek wanted only the best for Spock but his intent to start the boy's Vulcan mind training this early deeply concerned her. She knew Spock. She knew how sensitive he was and she was afraid that the rigid control Sarek intended to place on him would crush his tender soul.

She loved her husband with all her heart and soul. Her love for him gave her the strength to leave her former life behind and follow him to his alien world. But she knew his determination often bordered on stubbornness. She knew that the day would come when the close connection between her and Spock had to loosen up, and when he would be expected to control his emotions and follow the Vulcan way. In her opinion this day came too early. In his desperate attempt to do everything to prevent losing Spock, Sarek overlooked the fact that their son was half human too. He would need more time and the support of his parents to find his own special way. She would try to talk to Sarek about this but had little hope of convincing him of her opinion.

Sadly she realized that she would be caught in the middle between her love and duties to her husband and the needs of her child from now on. Sarek had made his vow to himself and now it was time for her to make her own. She would not go against her husband. She loved him too much to do that to him but she would not deny her son the emotional and motherly support that he needed either. Silently she lay back on the bed and covered Sarek's hand with her own. It was only after a long time that she found sleep .



FIN

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