Release Me

Roberta

"Christine!" A cheerful vibrant voice beckoned to me. "You okay?"

I look up from the table my head rested upon. I could feel blood rush back into my forehead, taking it from the pale white it must be back the to fair cream it is by nature. How do I answer? My heart was in shambles. I loved with all my heart not once but twice and lost. What was left to gamble, nothing more than my life? I am not that strong. Even as I look into the bright eyes of one of my closest friends, I can feel myself floating on a sea of utopia set into motion. NO! He was no mistake. I would gladly do it again, but there is no do it again. He has been out of my life for a fortnight.

The sweet man I gave my heart, moments of passionate surrender gone, taken by the hands of fate. Cold dark walls caved around the love we shared. In the end all I had left was a shell of the person I pledged my love.

Then you came, strong yet gentle. I loved you. Did you ever really understand how much I loved you? You had two faces though, didn't you? One I could see in private, the other scornful and harsh in the public eyes. I willing took you for who you were. Oh, how your heart must have tortured you, to love me or not to love me. But you did, I know you did. I felt it every time we joined our love.

Finally my mouth has the sense to speak what my heart knows is true. "No, I'M NOT OKAY." A tear streams down my cheek, as I scream the vile words. My life is for nothing, my hopes my dreams, my SOUL, died with him. So why should I not as well?

I look through those bright eyes across from me. "Help me. I can't handle this pain anymore."

A sharp burn crossed my face. "Christine! Stop it right now!" Rand's bright blues eyes blazed with fire. "Get a grip, and listen to me."

My hand gently rested against a cheek not accustomed to being touched in such a manner. I could sense my eyes widen with the surprise of the slap. "Okaay," I said softly. There was nothing more I could do at the moment, I was still numb from emotional pain and now from the sting to my face. I rose, she must have thought I would strike back, because she instantly grabbed my hands.

"Christine…Chris, he is alive. I don't know how it happen but your husband is alive."

I teared, why would she play such a cruel joke on me. I felt him die. "No, Spock is dead." Now wetness fell with ease down my face, burning it at the same time it eased the fire to my cheek.

She brought my hands up so I could see the delicate golden band on my left ring finger. The tricolored Vulcan stones shone in the lighting of the bar. "This is the truth, Christine. YOUR husband, the man who placed this ring on your finger, is alive and headed to Vulcan."

The sharpness of her words told me she spoke the truth. I had to go, but she was there holding my hands tight. I had to get to Vulcan, my place was at his side. For better or worse I pledged my body, mind and soul, now was the time of truth. Finely I begged, "Release me."

End