DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Sharron Powell and is copyright (c) 1999 by Sharron Powell. This story is rated G.
Reflections and Conversations
The stars flew by the Observation Lounge windows like streaks of pure color. And as Christine stood, arms folded, staring at the flashes of light, she thought about how much their existence was like that. Humans lived for such a short span of time. Would something... no, someone, like V'ger, see them as specks of light ... their lives nothing more than a blur on its consciousness....
She smiled at herself. Her thoughts weren't too 'logical', were they? No, and she was glad of it. Their illogical, human emotions had saved them again. And provided V'ger with a new plane of existence. But the cost ... Ilia ... Commander Decker...
She wondered if they still existed, somehow ... the outwardly serene but inwardly conflicted Deltan and the man who had loved her, ultimately more than his life. At least life as she knew it.
Ilia had been a sweet girl. When she'd met her while performing the standard pre-mission physicals, Christine had sensed that she was running from something. Or running to something. She hadn't been sure.
And Ilia had felt comfortable around her. Comfortable enough to talk to her when she'd been escorted by Chris to her temporary quarters at Starfleet Command.
Not pressured by the male reaction to her Deltanness. Free to tell Chris about her world and herself without having to wonder if the interest in her was based on sexual needs. Reaction to the Deltan pheromones.
Ilia had been running from that, Christine now realized. From Decker. She hadn't been sure that he loved her for her. Or maybe she had been afraid of her own feelings toward him; had been using the Deltan vow of celibacy as a shield. Running away.
But they were all running from something; or running to something. Everyone of them. She'd run from Roger's death to Spock. Now her searching had led her to herself; her identity as a healer. Her travels had led her to the medical profession. Now she was home.
But Ilia and Will... She hoped that they had found what they were looking for.
Christine lifted one hand to the glass, cold from the chill of space, and then laid her head upon her hand, wishing them God speed on their journey. She sighed.
She should be getting back to sickbay. There were a ton of reports to file on this mess with V'ger. She hadn't missed the paperwork aboard ship ... but then you took the good with the bad when you were home. Maybe Leonard would like to have an early dinner... They hadn't had time for a good talk since he'd come aboard. Maybe now was the time.
Right before she moved to leave, she heard the door open. Turning toward the sound, she wasn't surprised to see Spock standing in the door way, his arms in their customary place behind his back.
"I was just leaving, Mr. Spock. You can have the room to yourself," she stated, not unkindly.
Spock nodded a reply as he entered further into the room. Without a word, he stopped when he reached her side, looking beyond her to the streaking stars at her back. Christine walked past him toward the door.
It had been almost three years since she'd seen him. He'd changed much; but not at all. Her shock at his manner had been great when she'd first seen him on the bridge after his arrival. So cut off from them all. Now he had returned. He had stopped running.
When she reached the threshold, she stopped, putting a hand to the door's edge to keep it open. "Spock ... are they still there, somewhere? Or are they gone, absorbed into it?" she asked softly. She didn't need to say whom, even though she had seemingly changed the subject with a non sequitur.
"I do not know, Doctor. V'ger has evolved. It has found what it needed. Our navigator and the Commander may have as well."
"And you?" Christine asked, softer still.
He turned away again to gaze at the stars calmly. "I have indeed."
She gazed at his back for a few more seconds before she turned again to leave.
"It was always here, you know. Funny how we never realize that till we look outside ourselves."
And with that she left him and as she passed over the threshold, she could just hear him say, "I know."