DISCLAIMER: Paramount/Viacom and the Powers That Be own Star Trek and all its characters. I am merely borrowing them for the purposes of responding to this story challenge and will put them back when I'm through. No hamsters were harmed in writing this story (although a few roaches were sprayed). This story is copyright (c) 2001 by Momthing and may only be posted to the 1001 Trek Tales website.



"Damn, it's hotter than Vulcan on a hot summer day," Dr. Leonard McCoy grumbled as he sat next to Captain James Kirk in the sauna. They had just finished a rousing game of handball and were relaxing before going back to their duties. McCoy eyed the Captain warily and wondered whether this would be a good time to broach the subject of his first officer's odd behavior. Jim Kirk was extremely sensitive when it came to Mr. Spock, the half human/half Vulcan who served alongside him and was his closest friend, although McCoy didn't believe the rumors he'd heard about the nature of their relationship. Especially not after what he'd seen last night.

"Come on, Bones, out with it!" Jim Kirk glanced at the doctor. "What's on your mind?"

McCoy sighed. "Well, Jim, I don't know how to say this, but I'm worried about Spock, especially after last night."

"What about Spock?" Kirk asked. "Especially after what happened last night?"

"You mean you haven't heard?" McCoy was astonished. Surely it was all over the ship by now, thanks to the ever-efficient Enterprise grapevine.

"Obviously not," Kirk grumbled. "So are you going to tell me or am I going to have to make it an order?"

"Now, mind you, Jim," McCoy began, "I'm not one to pry into a man's personal affairs, and as far as I'm concerned Spock can run around the ship naked covered in chocolate sauce; heck, he'd probably tell me it was just some ancient Vulcan ritual ... but when a member of my staff is involved ... well, all I can say is, he'd better not be playing games with her!" And he glared at the Captain.

"Playing games with whom?" Kirk roared, exasperated at the way McCoy was dragging this out.

"Christine!" McCoy snapped. "Practically the whole ship saw Spock and Christine at the holovid last night and they were acting like a couple of lovesick teenagers. She even had her head on his shoulder and they were holding hands, for Pete's sake!"

"Hmmm ... then maybe I wasn't imagining things," Kirk said, thoughtfully. "Last night I was walking along the observation deck when I saw a couple locked in a tight embrace and they were kissing. Normally, I would have turned around and left, but there was something familiar about that couple ... I got a little closer and by the light of the observation deck it looked like ... well, I'm not sure, but I could have sworn I saw Spock kissing Christine last night."

"Well, whatever's going on, it's not the pon farr," McCoy said. "That's the first thing I thought of when I saw how they were acting, but according to his last exam which was yesterday afternoon, all his readings were normal. But there's something going on. It's not like Spock to suddenly act so emotional. Christine, I'm not surprised about ... I've seen the way she looks at Spock when she thinks no one's looking and raw naked desire doesn't begin to describe it. But Spock told me once that love was not logical. Why all of a sudden is he acting like a lovesick puppy?"

"Let it go, Bones," Kirk said. "Just let it go. It may be just what it looks like. It's just possible that Spock and Christine have reached an understanding and are truly in love with each other. After all, not everything has to have a hidden meaning behind it. Sometimes a monkey is just a monkey and a banana is just a banana."

"You may be right," McCoy grumbled, but in his heart of hearts, he didn't believe it.

* * *

Christine Chapel had just finished putting her hair up when the buzzer rang. "Come in!" she called out, and was not surprised when Spock wandered into her quarters. She had been expecting him; after all he had been scheduled to show up right about now, with a dozen red roses.

"Why thank you, Mr. Spock," she smiled as she turned and placed them in the glass vase that had suddenly and mysteriously appeared on top of her desk. She was disappointed to see that he was not carrying anything else.

"She changed her mind," he informed her. "Pity. It would have been an interesting use for handcuffs, but she decided she didn't want to go there."

"Well, you're a doll to put up with all of this, considering this is a rewrite."

"Our writer hasn't written much about us lately," he said, "and I rather felt sorry for her when her computer locked up suddenly and she had to reboot, thereby losing her original story. However, this one is more than adequate and it does meet the requirements of the story challenge."

"She didn't leave out any of the words or phrases on the list," Christine concurred, "But I still think the first one was better."

"Perhaps," Spock replied. "But it might have led to requests for a sequel and she decided she didn't want to go there."

<<Author: Er ... guys, you think you could help me come up with an ending to this story?>>

Spock sighed. He hated it when this happened, and he and Christine had to do the author's work for her. Christine just smiled. "Sure thing ... c'mon, Spock, let's go to the holovids ... I hear they're showing a remake of "Star Trek V" only this time, you get to see Uhura's ta-tas.."

"Indeed?" Spock raised an eyebrow at that and tried not to appear too eager as he grabbed Christine's hand and headed for the door. And as the door slid shut behind them, Christine could be heard humming "Let's Give Them Something to Talk About ... "