DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. This poem is the creation and property of JM Lane and are copyright (c) 2003 by JM Lane.

Vulcan Male

J. M. Lane

I am a Vulcan male

Because I was born

In ShiKahr one Sunday morn

That is a fact, my friend

And you had best know it now

I am Spock, a Vulcan male

Now that I have said all that, I will say this

I have noticed the way

You notice my mate

For the past three point one weeks you have pursued her

And that greatly disturbs me

If you touch her even once, my friend

I will twist your neck all the way around

Because she is not only wearing my ring,

but we are mentally bonded

So that makes her the property of this Vulcan male

Through every situation, every manner of weather

A Vulcan male is ever alert and ready to fight for

what belongs to him

So stay away from my woman or else I shall

Have no choice but to severely punish you

And I am not easily deceived, my friend

You would do well to keep this in mind

If you continue to ask Christine out,

you are likely to find the top of your head

No longer perfectly round

I am giving you fair warning, my friend

Should I ever find you near my mate again

You will regret it for the remainder of your natural life

For one does not `cross' this Vulcan male

This now very displeased Vulcan male

And live to tell about it

You had best not trifle with me, my friend

For I will do you serious physical harm

Should I allow myself to become angry

If you value your safety, friend

I strongly suggest that you pursue someone else

Never molest the property of a Vulcan male