DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of JM Lane and is copyright (c) 2000 by JM Lane. This story is Rated PG.

PARADISE REDISCOVERED

JM Lane

"PERSONAL LOG, CHRISTINE CHAPEL, STARDATE 3417.3:

In an hour, we reach Omicron Ceti III and beam down to investigate the three-year silence of the 150 colonists there. That's not so bad; I can live with that. It's knowing that Spock is in the landing party that has me in such a stew. I swear, the man's going to drive me crazy!

Nothing I do or say gets through to him. It's all I can do to act professionally around him any more, so I'm determined that we're going to talk this out once and for all once we get back, whatever I have to do to make him listen. For the time being, however, duty calls..."

Christine Chapel, Head Nurse and temporary Senior Medical Officer of the starship Enterprise, saved the latest entry to her Personal Log on her personal tricorder and leaned back in her desk chair to get the kinks out of her back, standing up to complete the job before heading to her bathroom to shower and change into her duty uniform.

For the next few minutes, at least, her mind was too occupied with preparations for work to be overly concerned with personal problems. As she was putting the finishing touches on her hair, her intercom buzzed. She hastily pushed the last pin into place and went to answer it.

"Chapel here."

"Miss Chapel, we are preparing to beam down," came the impassive voice of the Vulcan First Officer.

"I'm on my way, Mr. Spock." Her formal tone matched his.

"Very well," he returned. "Spock out."

She sighed in exasperation and closed the intercom. "Chapel out." She picked up her medical tricorder and medikit, then left her quarters, the door automatically locking behind her as she left.

* * *

She had been told that Berthold rays, which dissolved the bodies of Humanoid and animal life within seven days, were bombarding Omicron Ceti III and had for the better part of two years, so she (having been sent in place of McCoy, who had been too backed up with "paperwork" and decided to send her instead) was as stunned as the others in the landing party -- even Spock, she was pleased to note ... when Elias Sandoval, head of the colonists, greeted them.

"It is -- gratifying to see you," the Vulcan made himself say. "But we were given to understand that you were in distress. After all, there have been no communications from you for three years."

"Hardly that, Mr. Spock," Sandoval returned with a smile far too euphoric for either the Science Officer or Head Nurse's taste. "We're in no danger here; we have simply found the way to happiness and true belonging." Sandoval's voice was so flat and toneless as to be almost mechanical, his smile almost mindless. But Christine knew that he would deny anything was wrong with him if she called it to his attention, so she decided to humor him for the moment, asking permission to give the colonists physicals.

Sandoval nodded, his smile never wavering. "If you like," he replied pleasantly. "Although we're all as healthy as the proverbial horse here, thank you."

"I'd like to verify that, if you don't mind," Christine told him.

"Not at all," Sandoval answered.

Christine was glad he was being so cooperative, but was dubious as to how long it would last, particularly once he was told that he and the rest of the colonists would need to be evacuated off the planet because of the Berthold rays. It had taken a year for the colonists to travel from Earth to Omicron Ceti III, but by rights, there should be no colony at all -- no buildings, no one left alive. But *something* had obviously saved them ... Neither Spock nor Christine had any idea what, but both vowed to find out before the mission ended.

* * *

Spock and the other landing party members split up in order to cover as much ground as possible and try to see if any of them could discover the cause of the colonists' almost mindless euphoria and inexplicable survival. Christine stayed behind to give the aforementioned physicals, discovering all the colonists to be in absolutely perfect health, as Sandoval had told her.

She had no way of explaining this and doubted she ever would, unless Spock or one of the others found something to explain it. She knew that whatever was protecting the colonists hadn't affected her -- at least not yet -- since she had also checked herself and found (as expected) that her tonsils and appendix were gone, having been removed when she was nine and fourteen years of age respectively.

The first person she had checked was Sandoval himself, stunned to find that the scars on his lungs from the lobar penumonia he had suffered as a child of ten and the appendectomy he had undergone at age thirteen were gone. It was as if they had never happened. The appendix had even grown back! Medically impossible, by all the standards she knew.

As soon as she finished the last physical, Christine decided to hunt up Spock. He had to know what she had discovered. Maybe together, they could come up with a plausible explanation for both the colonists' mindless euphoria and perfect health in the face of such deadly radiation.

* * *

It took Christine half an hour to find the Vulcan, and when she did, he wasn't at all as she had left him -- and it surprised him as much as it did her ... though she later admitted (at least to herself) that what had happened between them was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her. She could only hope that Spock had felt the same after it was over, or at least admitted -- if only to himself -- that the experience had been pleasurable for him. Of course, that was unlikely, but stranger things had happened.

* * *

As Spock walked through the colony's property holdings, he had kept his tricorder whirring along, aiming it in every conceivable direction and recording his findings, but discovered precious little in the way of answers until he came to the crest of a hill and spied some tall plants with large, pink flowers and a large pod in the center of the flower a few feet down the other side. He carefully made his way down to them and prepared to take tricorder readings. It was at this point that the flower pod nearest him burst open and showered him with pinkish-white spores.

A short time later, he cried out softly and dropped to his knees, the tricorder falling to the ground as the Vulcan put both arms around himself, sharp pain shooting through his mid-section for a few minutes ... then a strange euphoria similar to that of the Omicron Ceti colonists descended over him, an atypical smile crossing his lips.

Now he understood why the colonists enjoyed it here so much. It was beautiful -- blue sky, green grass and trees, perfumed air surrounding him. The existence of the Berthold rays and their deadly effect no longer seemed important to him. In fact, Spock was now immune to their effects, although he didn't know that yet.

Indeed, if he had been himself, he would have taken samples of both plant and spores back to the ship for analysis ... but as it was, doing that was the furthest thing from his mind. Instead, he was fully occupied with matters which would not have concerned him even ten minutes earlier -- things which he had never allowed himself to be concerned with until now.

He retrieved his tricorder, but otherwise was totally divorced from his true purpose for being planetside. All that mattered to him was here and now ... the enjoyment of his surroundings, which the spores had allowed him to appreciate in a way he could not have appreciated them before. He removed his boots and socks, the soft grass and warm ground feeling good under his bare feet. After that, he removed his blue uniform shirt, leaving on his black undershirt.

He stretched out on his back in the grass, extending his arms and legs, bending and straightening them several times. The Vulcan laughed as he never could before, with pure, unadulterated enjoyment -- the enjoyment of a child, the child he had never truly been because of his choice at age seven to follow the Vulcan Way.

All this was forgotten as the First Officer expressed his emotions as he had always wished he could, finally folding his arms behind his head, cradling the latter in his hands and bending his knees while resting one foot on the ground, his other leg crossing the first and the foot dangling in midair.

It was at this point that Christine neared Spock's location, unable to believe her ears upon hearing laughter as she neared it ... laughter from someone she had never expected to hear it from. Was that actually Spock? She listened for a moment, then heard it again.

My God, how could it be possible? She hesitated to call out to him for fear of disturbing his rare moment of relaxation. He allowed this release so seldom -- but at the same time, she would give anything to have been enjoying it *with* him. She had to take the chance; who could say when (or if) this opportunity might come again?

"Spock?" she called out softly. "Spock, is that you? Are you all right?"

"Christine?" he called back, his voice lighter and more relaxed than she had ever known it to be. "Come, join me." He stood up and held out a hand to her, the smile on his lips warmer than any she had ever seen directed to her. Within five minutes, she was at his side, looking him up and down. His blue uniform shirt was lying at his feet, as was his equipment, boots and socks. His uniform trousers were rolled up and she saw grass in his hair, which was tousled; he looked about ten years old.

"Are you feeling all right?" she asked, both concerned and pleased at the same time.

"I've never felt better in my life," Spock returned, giving Christine another heart-stopping smile. "And I want to share it with you." He sat down on the ground and again held out a hand to her; she gingerly sat down next to him, setting her own equipment down next to her. "Is this not ... enjoyable?" he asked, his hand clasping her nearest one.

"Yes ... " The nurse had to force herself to speak, her heart pounding hard and fast in spite of herself at his nearness.

A moment later, the Vulcan reached to stroke his companion's cheek with the fingertips of his other hand.

Christine couldn't avoid blushing, especially at the way he was making her feel. If she did what she wanted to do, however, would she ever be able to live it down if he remembered what they had done later on and berated her for not controlling herself?

"Is something wrong, Christine?" Her companion's voice was laced with concern. "Are you uncomfortable?"

"A little," she had to confess. "This has rarely happened between us. But at the same time, there's no place I'd rather be." She smiled as she had rarely allowed herself to do when he could see.

He returned it, then said, "Why don't you relax, Christine? Take your boots off, let your hair down?"

There was nothing she wanted to do more, but hesitated to do so -- until he encouraged her further. "Don't be afraid, Christine. I would never harm you."

"I know," she replied, daringly lifting his hand to her cheek and holding it there for a moment before raising it to her lips and kissing it. "I wish this never had to end. Unfortunately, we'll have to get back to the ship soon, since the Captain's going to want a report."

"The ship's not going anywhere," he reminded her. "Besides, do you really want to leave?"

She shook her head even as he reached to take the pins from her hair; part of it fell to her shoulders. A short time later, it was all down, and he raised it to his lips to kiss it before pulling her head close with one hand, then buried his face in it and inhaled its fragrance. "Lovely ... so beautiful..."

If these actions stunned Christine, Spock's subsequent actions thoroughly flabbergasted her. His one hand lifted her chin; her heart raced as she saw a kiss in his beautiful, sable-brown eyes. She closed her eyes as their lips touched, one arm going around his neck and the fingers of that hand stroking the back of it as the kiss deepened and his arms went around her, his embrace gentle but secure.

Christine knew she was lost the moment he touched her, the feel of him close to her so natural and right. She knew she'd probably feel guilty later, but right now all that mattered was the sweetness of Spock's lips on hers and the gentle strength of his arms around her, the warm solidity of his body ...

*Spock, my love,* her mind projected even as his lips reluctantly moved from hers to find the rapidly pounding pulse in her throat below her right ear.

His breath was warm as he whispered, "Christine ... you are so sweet, so beautiful. Much more than I deserve -- but I ... need you. Will you -- stay with me?"

By this time, both her arms were around his neck and their lips less than an eighth of an inch apart. In fact, his breath feathered her lips as he spoke, as did hers on his lips as she replied. "Yes, beloved. *Yes*. I'll stay for as long as you want me." Her whole heart was in her voice.

"I'll always want you," he assured her, his voice a husky purr even as he pulled her down beside him and drew her close again -- then the only thing either of them were aware of was the nearness of the other.

* * *

The insistent beeping of Spock's communicator brought the pair reluctantly back to reality. Upon realizing what it was, Christine reached for it even as Spock murmured a Pre-Reform Vulcan oath under his breath while stroking her hair as her head lay on his shoulder and his lips brushed her temple; the couple lay side-by-side in the tall grass.

"It must be the Captain," she informed him. "You'd better answer it."

"I suppose so," the First Officer sighed, though she could tell he didn't want to -- nor did he release her, even as Christine opened the communicator and held it up so Spock could speak into it. "Yes, Captain, what did you want?" The Vulcan's voice was a lazy drawl, his strong arms gently squeezing Christine while kissing her hair before moving to nuzzle her cheek.

"Spock, is that you?" Kirk sounded incredulous, even disbelieving.

"Yes," Spock assured him -- but the moment the Captain heard the atypical response, he knew something was wrong. "What did you want?"

"Did you find anything?" Kirk asked. When there was no response, the Captain demanded, "Spock, dammit, *answer* me! Did you find anything?"

The Vulcan sighed exasperatedly. "Yes," he said reluctantly.

"Well, what is it? Does it have anything to do with why the colonists act as they do?"

"I believe so," Spock made himself say, though all he really wanted to do was kiss his companion again.

"You *believe* so. Don't you *know*? Spock, just where the hell are you?" Kirk wondered.

The Science Officer smiled as he held Christine close, pressing her cheek against his own before kissing it again. "I don't believe I want to tell you."

"Spock, I don't know what you think you're doing, but we can't wait much longer. We've got to get the colonists evacuated up to the ship, and Sandoval's being difficult, so I'm going to need your help to get the ball rolling."

"I don't think so," Spock returned casually.

"You don't think so, *what*?" the Captain threw back, beginning to become angry as well as concerned. Spock didn't sound at all like himself. Something must have happened -- and Kirk intended to find out what, whatever he had to do.

"I don't think so, *sir*."

Christine was hard-pressed to keep from laughing. It was a cinch the Captain would never believe what Spock was doing, much less who he was doing it with ... provided he even believed the Vulcan capable of it at all. There was also likely to be a confrontation between Kirk and Spock later on because of this incident, which might or might not involve her -- but for the time being, she intended to enjoy what time had been granted to her to spend with the man she loved.

It was probably wrong to take advantage of him like this, but he *had* invited her to join him and she had never been able to say "no" to him, God help her ... and even if they got in trouble later, it would be worth it to have a beautiful memory to cherish.

"Spock, I want you back at the colonist settlement to discuss evacuation plans. On the double, Mister, or I'll have you on report!"

But Spock wasn't listening; he had tuned Kirk out. The communicator soon dropped to the ground from Christine's nerveless fingers as the First Officer once again pulled the Head Nurse close and resumed kissing her.

"Spock, are you there? ... Spock? *Spock*!" The Captain's voice was insistent, but seemed far away to Christine; all she knew (or cared to know) was the feel of her beloved's lips, arms and body pressed sweetly close to hers. Heaven had truly come to earth for herself and Spock, if only temporarily. If she could ease his loneliness, bring him happiness -- if only for a moment -- it would give her the strength she needed to endure whatever might come afterward ... because she would know his true feelings for her, and nothing he might say or do in denial would ever fool her again.

* * *

Before the day was out, the entire crew had defected and beamed down to join the colony, including McCoy. Nothing Kirk did or said could win *him* back, either -- and Uhura had sabotaged the comm system so that he could not contact Starfleet, only the planet's surface. Neither had Spock ever told him just what he had found and what had happened to make the crew commit mutiny, so he had tried once again to convince Sandoval to evacuate the planet because of the danger from the Berthold rays ... again, to no avail.

Christine had joined them as well, having allowed herself to be sprayed by the spores in order that she also become immune to the Berthold rays and thus able to safely remain with Spock. The Captain was angry and frustrated at having to try to do things alone. There had to be a way to beat the spores and get his errant crew back -- but what was it? He didn't know, but did know that he would need help in order to accomplish it ... and getting Spock back was the first step.

* * *

It wasn't until Kirk had gotten sprayed by the spores himself, from a plant which had been beamed up to the ship, that he managed to think of a way to get Spock back. Normal Vulcan strength was half again that of Humans, and provoking him could be dangerous, but the Captain couldn't think of anything else to do which would accomplish his purpose. Besides, Spock, the ship, and crew were worth any risk to himself.

He was all ready to join the others, having packed his things and gone to the Transporter Room to place his suitcase on the pad, when he realized he couldn't leave, and not only because no one would be able to return to the ship if he left. He pounded a fist on the console. "No!" he declared. "I ... can't ... leave!" The euphoria seemed to drop from him like a discarded shirt at that moment, and it was then that he realized that strong emotions -- strong *negative* emotions -- had negated the effects of the spores and he was back to himself.

The spores were gentle and benevolent for the most part, but had a tendency to take over their hosts, preventing them from doing their chosen work, even if they did protect them from Berthold rays and help them free their emotions. For that reason, he appreciated what the spores had done for Spock, but now it was necessary to get the Vulcan back to normal. Kirk very much regretted having to take away his friend's first real taste of happiness, but especially distasteful was what he had to do to bring Spock back to himself. Christine probably wouldn't be too pleased with him, either -- at least not initially -- but Kirk was sure she would learn to live with it.

After all, Christine had kept her distance from Spock for years in deference to him, forcing her own feelings into the background in favor of his. She patiently endured his aloof attitude toward her time and again, willingly tolerating every brush-off he dished out, but the nurse told herself that she would rather share Spock with Kirk and/or McCoy than another woman. That was still true, and intellectually she knew he didn't mean to push her away; he was simply protecting himself emotionally the only way he knew how.

Unfortunately, that didn't make the rebuffs hurt any less, so it was understandable that when the opportunity arose, that Christine would react to Spock as she did on the planet and want to stay there with him because of how long she'd waited to be able to show her feelings to him without his objecting to them. All she had done for him had been done without expecting anything in return; rather, she had simply asked to be allowed to demonstrate her love on occasion, caring more for *him* than herself, whatever the cost.

It was that more than anything that made Spock privately appreciate Christine's devotion to him, even if he could not do so publicly. However difficult it may have been for him to express his feelings, he knew he had to try, and soon -- if only for Christine's sake. But knowing how inept he was, the Vulcan knew he would need help ... and who better than Jim? That is, once his Human friend forgave him -- and healed from the beating he had inadvertently invited at Spock's hands.

* * *

Spock and Christine were lounging together, her hand stroking his silky dark hair as his head rested on her lap. He looked up at her and smiled at her touch, reaching up a hand to stroke her cheek. Her whole heart was in her corresponding smile as he did so. He was all prepared to kiss her again when his communicator, which lay next to him, again beeped insistently. He sighed in impatience and took it as Christine handed it to him, already flipped open. The Vulcan raised it to his lips, having no intention of moving out of his comfortable position unless absolutely necessary.

"Spock here. What is it now?"

"It's me, Spock. I've joined you." Kirk's voice came from the small device, his sincerity obvious. "I understand now."

Spock and Christine looked at each other and smiled with pure joy -- then laughed. "That's wonderful, Jim. When will you beam down?"

"I've been repacking some things and realized I'm going to need help with some equipment we should have at the settlement. But I'm constrained to point out that once the last of us has left the ship, no one can go back aboard."

"Acknowledged. Would you like me to beam up a party?"

"No, I think you and I can handle it. Why don't you beam up now?"

Spock reluctantly sat up, sending a tender yet apologetic smile in Christine's direction. "Jim needs me to help him. I shouldn't be long." He pulled her to her feet with him, then leaned over to kiss her goodbye.

She momentarily tightened her grip on his hand, then released it and put a finger on his lips, which he promptly kissed. "Hurry back, love."

"I will," he assured her, then moved a short distance away and flipped the communicator open again. "I'm ready, Jim."

"Energizing," Kirk returned, voice deceptively quiet.

Christine watched as Spock dematerialized, then re-seated herself beneath a nearby tree to wait for him and the Captain to return.

* * *

Kirk was waiting for Spock in the Transporter Room when the latter materialized, holding a transparent aluminum club in his hands. The unsuspecting Vulcan stepped off the platform, smiling a greeting, which wasn't returned. In fact, there was a dangerous look in the Captain's eyes -- which Spock was unfortunately too euphoric to either notice or act upon.

"Now," the Captain said through clenched teeth. "You mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed. We'll *see* about you deserting my ship!"

Spock stared, surprised but unflustered. "Your use of the term 'half-breed' is applicable, but 'computerized' is inaccurate. A machine can be computerized, but not a man."

Kirk sneered. "What makes you think you're a man? You're nothing but an overgrown jackrabbit -- an elf with an hyperactive thyroid!"

The First Officer shook his head, bewildered. "Jim, I don't understand. I thought you needed help with some equipment ... " His voice trailed off.

"Of course not," Kirk retorted coldly. "You don't have the brains to understand. All you have is printed circuits!"

Spock frowned and took a step back as he sensed the Human's hostility, unable to think of a reply before Kirk spoke again.

"But what else can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak whose father was a computer and his mother an encyclopedia?"

"My mother is a teacher, my father an Ambassador," Spock returned quietly.

"Your father is a computer like his son! An Ambassador from a race of computers! The Vulcan never lived who had an ounce of integrity!" The words fairly dripped with contempt.

"Jim, please don't ... " Spock's voice was a plea as the Captain's voice filled with venom.

"You're a traitor from a race of traitors! Disloyal to the core -- rotten, like the rest of your sub-Human race! Then you've got the *gall* to make love to Miss Chapel ... that beautiful, wonderful woman who loves you -- though I'm sure I don't know why! How could any woman in her right mind ever fall for you?"

Kirk's voice was laced with ice. "Does she know what she's getting, Spock? A carcass full of memory banks who should be squatting on a mushroom instead of passing himself off as a man? You belong in the circus, Spock, not a starship ... right next to the dog-faced boy!"

"That's enough." Spock's voice was a warning as anger and hurt showed plainly in his words. He had finally had all he could take -- and acted accordingly. Kirk managed to stay out of the angry Vulcan's reach only briefly as Spock's full fury was unleashed upon him. If the Human wasn't backhanded across the room, he was thrown against the bulkhead multiple times. Once, Spock's fist barely missed the Captain's head; if the blow had connected, it could have easily crushed the Human's skull.

Kirk finally found himself flat on the deck with Spock standing over him, his face a mask of murderous rage as he held a heavy phaser rack over his head, preparing to throw it down onto his helpless victim (who had long ago lost his weapon) and crush him -- but just as he was about to do so, the volcanic anger possessing the Vulcan drained out of his body and he dropped the rack, jarring the deck beneath them.

Kirk breathed a sigh of relief, so sore, bruised and tired that he could hardly move, having expected the moment just past to be the last moment of his life. Instead, Spock was helping him up and over to sit on the steps near the transporter platform.

"Are you all right, Jim?" the Vulcan asked, voice laced with concern. "I fear that I ... inadvertently lost control of my emotions and attacked you. I -- hope I did not injure you too severely."

"Just a bruise here and there," the Captain assured him, even though every bone and muscle in his body hurt ... and would for the next several weeks.

"Are you sure?" Spock asked skeptically. "I would advise your seeing Dr. McCoy at the earliest opportunity, for I am certain that--"

Despite his aches and pains, Kirk was pleased to note that Spock was back to his usual formality ... no contractions and impeccable Standard with no colloquialisms or slang, which must mean that the spores had been destroyed and his alien friend was back to himself. His plan had succeeded, and it was worth aching for a month to have that knowledge. The Captain held up a hand.

"I don't blame you, my friend. After all, I provoked you."

"Deliberately," Spock returned, his tone a mixture of anger, sadness and question. "Jim, why did you do it? You knew what a risk you were taking, considering my greater strength."

Kirk grinned ruefully. "I never realized what it took to get under that thick hide of yours. Just the same, it isn't every First Officer who gets to belt his Captain -- several times." Kirk winced as he felt his tender jaw, tentatively moving it to make sure it wasn't broken.

"Please do not do that ever again," Spock admonished, gently but firmly. "You might not be so fortunate as to survive a second encounter."

"Believe me, I don't intend to, Spock," the Human assured his Vulcan friend. "Once was painful enough -- in more ways than one." Kirk gingerly maneuvered himself to face Spock. "*Now* will you tell me what you found?"

"Gladly, Jim," came the matter-of-fact reply. "The spores are benevolent and peaceful, gently bringing their hosts the ultimate in health and happiness, as well as a sense of belonging. Unfortunately, they also tend to dominate the minds of their hosts and prevent them from accomplishing their designated tasks."

"I surmised that," Kirk agreed. "And I'm sorry that I had to provoke you, but it was necessary to make you angry enough to shake off their influence. That must be the answer, Spock."

"You may be correct, Jim, but I must remind you that the entire Enterprise crew as well as the colonists have been influenced by the spores, just as I was. It would not be logical to initiate a brawl with nearly five hundred people. There must be another, non-violent means of doing so."

"No doubt," Kirk concurred. "Perhaps a certain subsonic frequency -- "

Spock smoothly interrupted. "I know what you mean. There is a frequency which causes sonic irritation in Humanoid species, which could be broadcast over the communicators via the Communications station."

"Let's get to it, then," Kirk replied, attempting to get up but unable to do so without help.

"Allow me to assist you, Jim. After all, it is my fault you are in such a condition." The First Officer's tone made it an order, albeit a gentle one ... and for once, the Enterprise Captain didn't mind being ordered around by a subordinate -- especially since the subordinate was also his closest friend.

Once the two neared the doors of the Transporter Room, Spock lifted his head to meet Kirk's eyes. "I assume you recall that striking a superior officer is a court-martial offense."

"Well, if you're in the Brig, who's going to build the subsonic transmitter?" Kirk returned with a smile.

"You have a point," the Vulcan had to admit. "Very well. Let us get down to business."

With that, the pair left the Transporter Room to head for the Bridge and their appointed task.

* * *

After an hour, Christine began to wonder what was keeping Spock and the Captain. Surely it couldn't take this long to move a few pieces of equipment. Something must have happened. She had no idea what, but had every intention of finding out. She reached for her communicator and flipped it open.

"Chapel to Enterprise."

"Spock here," came the self-contained, almost-too-quiet reply, so distant that for all anyone knew, he and Christine had never been more than colleagues, if that.

"May I beam up?" she asked carefully. "I need to talk to you, if you don't mind."

"Very well," the First Officer returned, knowing she would expect an explanation as to why he had not returned as promised. His voice was placid and unemotional, betraying no trace of the feelings just hearing her voice brought out in him. "Please stand by."

"Standing by," Christine said, her voice deceptively calm. "Chapel out."

She left her communicator frequency open until Spock said, "Energizing."

* * *

When the Vulcan turned to head for the Bridge turbolift doors, Kirk called after him. "I know that Miss Chapel is your concern, Spock, but do you really think you should try to talk to her while she's still being affected by the spores?"

"I will return shortly, Jim," Spock returned, voice barely audible.

"Spock?" Kirk called again, his voice apologetic. "I'm sorry I had to do what I did, and take away your first taste of happiness."

"I know," the First Officer returned. "I do not hold you responsible. It was necessary." He stepped into the turbolift and the doors closed behind him as he said, "Transporter Room."

Kirk found reassurance in Spock's words despite the uncharacteristic (even for him) aloofness in his voice and manner, relaxing in his chair and settling back to wait for his friend to return.

* * *

Christine stood on the transporter platform when Spock arrived, looking him over as she had earlier on the planet. It was obvious that he had changed; what alarmed her was that the change had been so sudden and total. What had happened to change him so quickly?

"Spock, would you mind explaining why you didn't bother to return? I know something's happened to you, I can tell that simply by looking at you, but the least you could have done was explain yourself." She stepped off the platform and headed for him, not stopping until they stood face-to-face.

"I ... never meant to deceive you," he assured her. "I -- have simply been ... busy."

"Doing what?" she demanded softly.

"Seeking a means of returning the crew and colonists to normal. I am sure you realize how illogical the situation here is. We cannot remain; we all have duties to consider. It is also necessary to evacuate the colonists to a place of safety once the spores wear off."

"I think I know what changed you," she threw back, unable to keep bitterness out of her voice. "It was the Captain, wasn't it?" *When isn't it?* the Head Nurse thought with a sharp pain in her heart.

"The Captain deduced a method of freeing us from the spores, yes," Spock confessed.

"Then you don't remember what happened between us," she surmised, hurt but not surprised that he would not acknowledge their romantic afternoon together.

"Something happened between us?" The Vulcan sounded incredulous, as though he didn't remember anything of what had happened.

"I came upon you shortly after you discovered the spores. They were already affecting you. In fact, you even ... " Christine's voice remained as casual as she could muster as she explained how Spock had acted.

"I find that highly unlikely. I would not be that emotional. It is more likely that you are exaggerating what truly occurred and indulging in the Human predilection for 'wishful thinking'."

"I don't lie about something like that, Spock. Especially not where you're concerned," the nurse retorted, her voice laced with pain and anger.

"I did not mean to imply that you did, Miss Chapel," he returned blandly.

"Oh, no? Certainly sounds like it to me," she threw back. "But then, it doesn't surprise me. You've been in serious denial regarding me from day one, and why I ever thought you'd changed, I'll never know. A leopard never changes its spots. I should have known better; it was simply a result of the spores.

"You've never given a damn about me or Dr. McCoy, and you never will. The Captain's the only one you give more than the time of day to. Never mind that Leonard and I care just as much. Well, you don't have to worry about my being underfoot any more. I intend to transfer out of here at the first opportunity; I've had it once and for all with you and your touch-me-not attitude. Why must I suffer any longer because of you? I've got better things to do."

Christine tried to control her heartbreak and resentment, but failed. "So you think you don't need me, and deny that anything ever happened between us? Fine. If you won't admit to what happened, I don't need *you*, either. I'll find someone who appreciates me. That shouldn't bother you one bit. After all, you've got the one *you* want as a friend, so to Hell with the rest of us.

"It's obvious that neither I nor Dr. McCoy are worthy of your notice, no matter how much *we* care about you. Well, let me say one last thing: You'll be sorry you neglected us one day when something happens to the Captain and you don't have anyone else to turn to because you'll have pushed us away and shunted us aside just once too often."

She went to the Transporter Room doors and opened them, then turned back to him to give this parting shot: "I wish you every happiness in your *exclusive* friendship. Goodbye, and good riddance!" Her voice was laced with equal parts sarcasm and pain, her voice nearly breaking on the last word.

She was gone before Spock could open his mouth to protest or reply. Part of the Vulcan told him to call her back and try to explain; another part said it would be pointless -- after the way he had treated her, especially now, she'd never believe him ... and even if she did, he didn't have the words to make her understand.

But he had to admit that she was correct on at least one point: he had consistently brushed her and McCoy's affection aside in favor of Kirk. Not that he had ever *meant* to, at least not consciously -- but it had happened, nonetheless. Regrettably, the past could not be changed; he and the others could only live with the consequences.

The fact was, Christine and McCoy *did* matter to him ... it was simply that he found it very difficult to express himself emotionally after having been taught to suppress his emotions his entire life. It had taken him years just to learn to allow *Jim* close to him, much less anyone else. He was truly sorry that she felt as she did, believed as she did -- but it was unVulcan to allow himself to be overly concerned. At least that's what he told himself ... but even if he did attempt to make amends, he couldn't do it alone.

* * *

Spock began his campaign once they had gotten the entirely understandably apologetic and contrite crew back to work after Kirk had assured them they would not be disciplined ... this time. But if it ever happened again, it would be another story, he warned them in his sternest voice. The signal generated from the ship had been felt almost immediately; within a few minutes, fights had broken out between the Enterprise crew and the colonists, but were short-lived as the strong negative emotions canceled out the effects of the spores.

Shortly after the last crewmembers had come aboard, the colonists and their effects were loaded onto the ship, the plants all disposed of except one, which was housed for study in the Botany Lab. Spock could not help smiling inwardly as McCoy told Kirk what he had done to Sandoval when the latter had told him his medical services would no longer be needed. The Doctor had snapped back, "Oh yeah? Would you like to see just how fast I can put you in the hospital?" and decked him. But the fight was over almost as soon as it had begun, and McCoy apologized. "Sorry, Sandoval. I don't know what made me do that."

Shortly after both were freed of the spores' effects, Sandoval changed his tune, claiming he would be willing to evacuate his people off the planet and have the Enterprise ferry them to Starbase 27 as originally intended, then relocate to a new planet if they so wished. Once they were on their way, the three friends gathered at Kirk's chair on the Bridge, watching Omicron Ceti III dwindle on the viewscreen.

"Well, that's the second time man's been thrown out of Paradise," McCoy observed.

"Not this time, Bones. This time we walked out on our own. Maybe we don't belong in Paradise, and are instead, meant to fight, struggle and claw every inch of the way."

"Illogical," said Spock in response to the "Paradise" reference.

The Captain looked at his Vulcan friend with concern at the unusual note in his voice. "Is anything wrong, Spock? We haven't heard much from you about Omicron Ceti III."

"I have little to say about it," the Vulcan returned, again with the unusual note in his voice, something Kirk vowed to ask him about the first time they had the opportunity to speak privately. "Except that -- for the first time in my life ... I was happy."

When both his friends looked at him, the First Officer seemed to be as they had always known him -- but the Captain and Doctor knew how much of an artist spock was at disguising his feelings. When they saw the Vulcan's eyes, they belied his serene face. They seemed haunted and sad ... as if concealing profound sorrow or regret. But now wasn't the time to inquire further -- at least not until they were off-duty. Even then, Spock might not be willing to talk, but they (or at least Kirk) would have to take that chance.

* * *

It was at this point that Christine decided to contact Uhura and tell her her experiences both during and after the Omicron Ceti III mission. The Bantu had yet to discover what had happened, but wouldn't be surprised if it involved Spock in some way. It usually took Christine a while to relax enough to open up these days, a legacy of her time with Roger Korby, the last time she had truly opened up to anyone -- and ended up regretting it.

Ever since, she had always been cautious about baring her soul to anyone unless she knew them well and was certain they would understand and not criticize her for feeling as she did about Spock. In other words, be as much a confidante to Christine as Kirk (and sometimes McCoy) were to Spock. But all that mattered to the angry, heartbroken woman at the moment was being able to get her pain off her chest. And once Nyota was off-duty, she would do just that. She had to do something about her problematical relationship (or lack thereof) with Spock, or climb the proverbial wall!

* * *

She awoke to the door buzzer sounding, then Uhura's voice called out to her, sounding concerned ... even worried. "Chris, are you all right? I came as soon as I could. Please let me in if you're there and all right."

Christine heard the call, reluctantly turning over from where she'd been lying on her stomach with her face buried in her pillow, which she just realized was damp, to press the button to open her door. She must have been crying; had, in fact, cried herself to sleep, as she had (unfortunately) done more often than she cared to remember since falling in love with Spock. Surely no man, even -- *especially* -- a Vulcan, was worth such heartbreak, so many tears ... Had Spock's mother Amanda gone through this same agony before managing to win Sarek?

Christine prayed not; she preferred to think that Amanda was the one who had been in control of that relationship. She hadn't been so lucky. In fact, the nurse considered herself fortunate if Spock deigned to give her the time of day. Also, she seriously doubted it would matter to Spock *where* she went, *what* she did, as long as she didn't bother him. As far as she could tell, anyway.

*It would likely be the happiest day of his life,* she thought cynically. *If the Captain needed help, he wouldn't hesitate a moment. He'd go across the Galaxy for him ... but wouldn't go across the room for me! He's proved that time and again. Why do I bother with him? He never notices anything I do; nothing matters.

*Why knock myself out for someone who treats me like a piece of Sickbay furniture? I've *had* it, I tell you -- had it up to here!* she told herself, getting up as she heard the doors of her quarters open, nearing the doorway of her sleeping alcove as Uhura stepped inside and the doors closed behind her.

"Chris, where are you? Are you all right? Answer me, please!"

A few steps more put Christine within sight of her Bantu friend. "Calm down, Nyota. I'm right here, and I'm fine."

Uhura raised one delicate eyebrow in a Spock-like manner, looking the other woman up and down, frowning skeptically. "I've been so worried! How have you been sleeping and eating?"

Christine returned the frown. "What are you, my mother? My appetite is just fine, thank you, and I haven't had to resort to Dr. McCoy's 'little red pills' to sleep yet, so things are all right in that department," she assured her friend.

"Oh, really? Then why are your eyes all red?" The dark woman leaned closer. "Uh-huh, I thought so. You've been crying, haven't you?"

Christine lowered her eyes at the pointed question, wishing she could deny it, but knowing she couldn't. "I'm afraid you've got me there," she confessed reluctantly.

"Spock?" was Uhura's one-word question.

"Who else?" came the answer. "I swear, Ny, he's going to drive me up a tree! I don't know how much longer I can take it. Didn't his mother ever tell him the proper way to treat a woman?"

"She probably wasn't allowed to," Uhura deadpanned, then grinned. "By the way, what happened on Omicron Ceti III with Spock? Were you the one who got him sprayed with the spores?"

"No, of course not." The nurse gave her friend a hard look. "What do you think I am? I'm not that desperate!" Christine declared. *At least, not yet,* he finished in her mind, then sighed.

Uhura seemed stunned speechless, for she never said a word while the other woman talked. She simply sat on Christine's bed and listened as her friend related her incredible yet bittersweet story. In the next moment, the nurse noted that Uhura looked as flabbergasted at this action as Christine herself had been at the time, smiling absently as she recalled what had happened.

"Chris? ... *Chris*!" Uhura's sharp voice brought the daydreaming nurse back to reality.

"Oh, sorry, Ny," Christine apologized. "Got carried away. Well, to continue -- we were still together when the Captain called, saying he wanted to evacuate the colonists. I can't help thinking that there were times Spock just plain wasn't listening to him, since he either kissed me or nuzzled my ear or cheek. At the end, he seemed to totally tune him out. All that mattered was the fact of my nearness ... at the time, at least," she finished wistfully. "Now he won't admit anything ever happened between us. He's in total denial, and nothing I do or say has moved him."

She became very quiet, and Uhura was certain she detected fresh tears in the other woman's smoky blue eyes, threatening to overflow. "I don't know what to do, Nyota. He was so warm and tender on the planet, but now he won't get near me unless absolutely necessary. It's very hard to deal with such an abrupt emotional withdrawal."

"Of course it is, honey," Uhura crooned, trying to soothe her. "And it's because you love him." The dark woman affectionately squeezed Christine's hands.

"I think I know why he's doing it, but that doesn't make it any easier to endure," Christine said so quietly that Uhura could barely hear her.

The latter felt sure that if Chris allowed herself to speak normally, she would burst into tears again and never stop. Uhura also suspected that the reasons for Spock's abrupt withdrawal not only had something to do with his loss of control on Omicron Ceti III, but from the resulting feelings the incident must have engendered in him -- feelings likely to be as deep as Christine's own, but feelings the Vulcan was neither willing nor ready to acknowledge, much less ex-press ... and until he was (or had the help and encouragement of certain friends), he was going to stay in "double Vulcan" mode.

If only for Christine's sake, Spock had to be snapped out of it somehow -- whatever she, Kirk and McCoy had to do. She would have to have a talk with them on the subject at the first opportunity. Meanwhile, it was necessary to help make Chris feel better -- if only temporarily. The Bantu gathered her friend into her arms and stroked her golden hair soothingly.

"I'll try to think of something, honey. Perhaps even talk with the Captain and Dr. McCoy. Between us, we're bound to come up with something."

"I need all the help I can get. I'm about at the end of my rope," Christine murmured, clinging to the smaller woman like she was a life-line.

"We'll beat this problem, Chris. You can bank on it," Uhura declared. "Come Hell or high water, we'll *beat* this thing!"

"If you say so, Nyota." For obvious reasons, Christine didn't sound hopeful.

"Chris, for every immovable object, there's an irresistible force. In Spock's case, you're going to be that irresistible force -- with my help and that of the Captain and Doctor." The dark woman squeezed Christine encouragingly, then released her.

"I *want* to believe you, Nyota. More than anything," Christine said quietly. "It's just that Spock is so godawful stubborn."

"So are we," Uhura returned with a determined air. "We're going to show that pigheaded Vulcan that not even the stubbornest of his kind can stand against Humans." She looked at Christine again and smiled.

Christine managed a small smile in return. "Thanks, Ny. I appreciate the gesture."

"What are friends for? Now stop worrying and just let your old friend Nyota handle things. I've got to go now and see if I can arrange an audience with the Captain and Dr. McCoy. See you later. I'll let you know what happens." The two women embraced warmly one last time, then Uhura departed.

Christine's spirits had definitely been lifted by Nyota's infectious optimism, especially when she said she'd get Kirk and McCoy to help her. She only hoped they would be willing, and could pull it off without too much trouble or too many problems on either side. Spock might not appreciate even well-meaning interference in his private life, but if that was what it took to snap him out of "double Vulcan" mode, so be it. In spite of herself, the nurse laughed as she headed back to bed.

*Spock's not going to know what hit him,* she thought with a chuckle as she got back into bed, for once actually able to compose herself for a good night's sleep -- her first in God knew how long. *I can hardly wait to see what happens.*

* * *

After the three got off-duty, Uhura contacted Kirk and McCoy, telling them that they had to come to her quarters right away because she had something important to discuss with them. Both men knew Uhura well enough to know that she wouldn't call them unless it really was important, but neither could figure out exactly what it was she wanted to discuss with them. Kirk had a pretty good idea, though. It was the only way he could explain Spock's current behavior, behavior which had become progressively more stiff and formal with the passage of time.

He was aware that Spock had had a brief interlude with Christine while planetside, under the influence of the spores; he only went into "double Vulcan" mode if he was feeling the strain of the strong emotions inherited from both parents and the equally strong desire to conceal them ... neither of which seemed to be doing him an ounce of good, particularly since his afternoon with the Head Nurse, which had strongly stimulated those same emotions -- emotions he usually denied, emotions which he was now fighting every bit as strongly. Could he actually have fallen in love with her? It still seemed far-fetched to the Captain, but since Omicron Ceti III, far more plausible than before.

McCoy had noticed a similar phenomenon in his Head Nurse, and nothing he did or said could get anything out of her. She just plain wouldn't talk to him. The most she had ever said was that it was her business and that she could handle it. He was sure she was wrong, but had no idea how to help her since she denied there was any problem ... and got mad if he pressed too hard for an explanation. He had seen her upset about a lot of things, but never this much and for this long -- so for this reason, he was convinced that it had something to do with Spock. She was either sad and angry, even alternately bitter and pleasantly preoccupied, episodes which she usually came out of with a silly grin and dreamy expression on her face.

He never knew what to expect of her from one day to the next. It hadn't affected her work -- yet -- but it would if it kept up much longer. If this meeting with Uhura was about what he thought it was, he just might be able to get enough answers to his questions to actually be able to help her. He and Kirk met on the way to the Communications Officer's quarters, falling into step and sharing their observations about their two friends' behavior since leaving Omicron Ceti III while en route.

"Bones, what do you think Uhura wants to talk to us about?" Kirk wondered, beginning the short conversation.

"I don't know, Jim, but if it's what I think it is, it'll do both Spock and Chris a world of good." The way the Doctor phrased his statement made the Captain give him a strange look, then a knowing smile. Neither knew exactly what had happened between their two friends, but knew them well enough to make a pretty accurate guess. Christine and Spock must have once again gotten into uncomfortably close proximity (the Psi 2000 incident being only the first example), which could explain why both acted like they had something to hide and were doing their best to conceal it -- but not succeeding. Of course, there usually wasn't anything to hide. Unfortunately, both Kirk and McCoy were convinced that this time, there was.

"What about Spock?" the Doctor asked carefully. Even though both Kirk and McCoy were his friends, the Vulcan was usually far more comfortable confiding personal matters to Kirk, since the Captain was more subtle and gentle about drawing him out. McCoy tended to use the "sledgehammer" approach, although he never consciously meant to hurt or badger Spock into admitting his emotions. The Doctor's problem was that he was frankly too impatient, wanting too much too soon, and Spock was simply incapable of showing his feelings that quickly after a lifetime of conditioning to do the opposite.

Intellectually, both Kirk and Spock knew that McCoy meant well, but it rarely came out that way, which was the main reason Kirk was so fiercely protective of Spock's feelings, so much that he was equally certain that he had to have inadvertently hurt McCoy's many times in the process. Kirk regretted that, but didn't see that he had any choice in the matter. In situations like that, one often had to play one against the other, sacrifice one's feelings to spare the other's. Maybe the three of them were too alike -- or was it too different -- to truly understand each other? Kirk couldn't decide.

The Captain had tried many times to explain why one acted as he did to the other, but neither ever seemed to retain the information, and the times that McCoy and Spock fought (occasionally, almost to the point of physical violence), Kirk was very tempted to give up trying to bring them together. At other times, when either Spock or McCoy demonstrated genuine caring and concern for the other, Kirk couldn't help thinking that perhaps -- just perhaps -- there was hope for them after all. He eventually came to the conclusion that the alternating fights and demonstrations of affection (usually unconscious, but seemingly instinctive) concealed a "love-hate" relationship between the First Officer and CMO.

He planned to take them on extended leave at the first opportunity, possibly to Iowa ... perhaps even have Christine join them -- a perfect time for resolving the problems between them. But there wouldn't be an opportunity for that for at least a month. Until then, they'd have to muddle through as best they could. Still, Kirk knew that Spock was extremely sensitive to any and all teasing on McCoy's part ... and not even his explanations that it was one way the Doctor showed affection changed the Vulcan's wary attitude one bit: nor did his attempts to explain why Bones tended to conceal his feelings behind anger, especially those of pain, frustration or jealousy.

These actions stemmed from the pain McCoy had endured during his divorce and extended estrangement from his daughter Joanna, his only child, whom Kirk knew that McCoy worshiped and agonized over because of their unwanted but enforced separation. His unresolved conflicts with her spilled over into his life and personal relationships aboard the Enterprise; as a result, Spock (who had a tendency to take everything people said literally and personally), was extremely cautious, if not wary, around the CMO ... particularly if Kirk wasn't around to mediate any arguments the other two deeply opinionated and highly sensitive men might get into.

Kirk himself understood that each was simply protecting himself emotionally the best way he knew how, but no matter what he did, there seemed no way to get this fact through either of his friends' heads about the other. In the meantime, however, both he and McCoy had other concerns to occupy their minds -- concerns which came to the forefront as they realized they had reached Uhura's quarters.

"Well, we're here. Are you ready?" Kirk asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," the Doctor returned.

"Then let's get it over with. That's the most logical thing to do, as Spock would say," Kirk said, reaching for the door buzzer as he spoke and pressing it.

McCoy smiled, then chuckled as he nodded in agreement.

"Come on in; the door's open," Uhura's voice came back as the pair took a step forward. A moment later, the door slid open and they entered the dark woman's quarters -- then, as they stepped forward again, the door slid closed behind them. The two men looked at each other. This was it ... the time that would determine the course of all their lives for months, if not years, to come, depending on what they decided to do about their current problem.

* * *

Upon entering, the men saw Uhura standing in the doorway to her living area, her ebony-black hair down around her shoulders. She was wearing a red-and-gold print caftan and matching slippers, along with her favorite exotic perfume. "Welcome, Captain, Doctor. Won't you please have a seat?" She gestured to the nearby table with three chairs; her two guests sat down and made themselves comfortable. "Would you like a drink?" she asked.

"Altair water," was the almost simultaneous reply.

Uhura brought back a tray of drinks, accompanied by a small container of ice, along with the bottle of Altair water, similar to Terran mineral water, taken from her own refrigerator; there were three glasses filled with ice and drink on the tray. "Would either of you like anything to eat?" she inquired, the consummate hostess.

Both Kirk and McCoy politely declined; Uhura nodded in acknowledgment. "Then let's get down to business," she said, seating herself in the third chair at the table and resting her hands around her glass, looking up at her companions and sighing deeply before speaking again. "I assume you know why I called you here," she told them. "I'm worried about Chris ... and Spock, too. They've both acted very strangely since our return from Omicron Ceti III. I also can't help noting that they're the only ones who are doing it. Since the entire crew was affected, it seems most unusual that at least two other people *besides* them aren't acting the same way. They can't be the only ones aboard ship who are fighting an attraction to each other."

"Perhaps not, though it may be that their feelings are the strongest," Kirk suggested. "But both are normally so reticent that it would take something like the spores to get them to relax their inhibitions."

"You're probably right, Jim," McCoy agreed. "It's a cinch that I can't get a thing out of Chris about what happened, and I'm usually pretty good at drawing her out."

"In most things, maybe -- but this concerns Spock, Doctor, and as far as I know, the only one she confides in regarding him is me," Uhura informed him.

"But we *all* know how she feels about him," McCoy threw back after taking a generous swig of his drink.

"Agreed, but how many of us know how Spock feels about *her*?" Kirk interjected. "I think I know him pretty well, and even *I'm* not sure. For that reason, I feel safe in assuming that only Spock really knows the answer to that." The Captain took a swallow of his own drink.

"Has he talked to you about it at all?" McCoy wondered, knowing that if there was anyone with whom Spock would discuss personal matters, it would be Kirk. The only way the Doctor became privy to anything regarding the Vulcan's feelings was if Kirk decided to tell him ... and even then, in deference to Spock, he didn't tell McCoy everything: only the things he believed the Doctor was entitled to know.

"No. At least not yet," Kirk had to confess. "That's why it's so strange. It's just not like him not to confide in me."

"Probably still trying to sort out his feelings -- in between fighting and/or denying them," McCoy suggested.

"Possibly," Kirk reluctantly conceded. "Uhura, has Christine told you anything about what happened between her and Spock on Omicron Ceti III?" The Captain's voice was so gentle that Uhura found herself replying despite her instinctive reluctance to betray Christine's confidence, even if her friend remained unaware of the fact. The point was that *she* would know it.

Uhura told them everything, from Christine's explanation as to how she found Spock and her reaction upon discovering him, as well as the changes the spores had manifested in him ... to the last kiss they had shared before Spock beamed up to meet Kirk: and both her concern when he didn't return and his explanation to her when they saw each other again. For a long time, both Kirk and McCoy were too stunned at the Vulcan's atypical behavior under the spore influence to speak -- but once they had a chance to think about it, the Doctor chuckled.

"Oh, would I have loved to see that ... Spock acting like a lovesick puppy."

"Bones, so help me, if you say one word to him -- " Kirk's voice was low and ominous, almost threatening. "This is probably the only time in his life that Spock's ever been truly happy and free to express his emotions, and I won't have you spoiling it for your own amusement."

McCoy stared back at him with a mixture of horror and pain. "Good God, Jim, what do you think I am? Of all people, you ought to know me better than that by now. I could no more knowingly hurt Spock than you could -- and you should know that whatever else I am, I would never tell anyone about his emotional episodes or ever intentionally use his emotions against him."

"All right, Bones, I'm sorry," Kirk returned apologetically. "Maybe I was a tad out of line, but you were implying that you intended to confront Spock with your knowledge and use it to embarrass him if he didn't do as you wanted. I won't stand for that."

"Aw, Jim-boy, you must know I don't mean it. If you want me to keep quiet about it, I will. It won't be easy, especially if Spock gets me riled up again, but I'll do it." The Doctor sounded so sincere that even the skeptical Kirk had to believe him.

"That goes for you too, Uhura," the Captain said gently, but with a stern note in his voice, aware of how outspoken she could be.

"Captain, I would no more use this knowledge against Mr. Spock than I would against Chris. You may be assured of that. Give me credit for empathy, if nothing else." Uhura's reply was an amalgam of annoyance and hurt.

"Very well. Just so everybody knows what they're supposed to do," Kirk returned. "Now, has anyone got any ideas on how to get Spock and Christine together again? They can't go on the way they have been much longer."

"That's for sure. Chris is about ready to climb the proverbial wall," McCoy observed.

"Amen," Uhura concurred. "But you know how stubborn Mr. Spock is ... not to mention Chris. How are we going to pull off this minor miracle?"

"A little arm-twisting may be necessary. I may even have to pull rank at some point," Kirk said, frowning in distaste. "I don't like to do that, but if it's the only way to get Spock to open up..." His voice trailed off. "God knows I've tried every *other* way I can think of, and it hasn't budged him."

Short of locking them in a room together until they resolve this dilemma between them -- and if things don't improve, I may have to do just that, the Captain sighed exasperatedly. Of course, if it comes to that, we may never see them again. I've never seen anyone so stubborn ... or should I say pigheaded? ... as those two. In the name of logic and nobility, they're putting themselves through an emotional wringer. If I thought it would do any good, I'd even knock their thick heads together -- then *order* them to talk to each other, Kirk told himself. If not by themselves, with Uhura and myself as referees.

The Captain wasn't sure if either Spock or Christine would feel comfortable with McCoy there as well, unless at least one of them (most likely Christine) specifically requested his presence. Kirk had intended for their long talk to wait until they could go on leave, but things were coming to a head so fast that he didn't think any of them could last the necessary month before leaves were likely to be granted -- and how in the universe would they ever be able to get the First Officer and Head Nurse into the same room together long enough to straighten things out between them?

"Both of you are hereby authorized to use any means necessary, short of blackmail or bribery, to get Spock and Christine to meet with us in Briefing Room Five at 1700 hours on stardate 3417.9. Also, make it clear that refusal to comply will get them both put on report for insubordination," Kirk told Uhura and McCoy. "Now, we'd better go. There's no time to lose. You have your orders. Dismissed."

With that, all three got up and left Uhura's quarters, immediately proceeding to follow their designated orders: find their friends and do whatever they had to do to get the Vulcan and Christine to Briefing Room Five at the designated time on the designated stardate, then do whatever they had to do to help them resolve their differences.

* * *

At first, neither of the two concerned suspected anything when asked to meet their friends in the Briefing Room at 1700 hours six days later, after dropping the remaining colonists off at Starbase 27 -- shortly after leaving orbit -- but once they realized what they'd been called there for, both were ready to make a break for the door. However, both Kirk and Uhura gave their friends hard looks and said, "Don't even think it. We're going to resolve this mess between you once and for all."

"I do not know what you mean," Spock claimed. "There is no 'mess' to resolve."

Christine whirled to face him. "The hell there isn't! I'm tired of your consistent denials that nothing happened between us on Omicron Ceti III. You should know that I would never lie about a thing like that!"

"As I said earlier, I never said you had lied, Miss Chapel ... simply -- exaggerated," the Vulcan reiterated coolly, though for once, coolness came hard.

"Yes, you have ... with every word you've said, every action you've taken regarding me since then," she threw back. "I don't expect anything of you other the simple acknowledgment that we did share an afternoon together. Is that so much to ask? Would it be such a sin to admit that you actually have feelings? Would it truly make you any less Vulcan?" Her eyes bored right through him, and Spock had to fight to keep from squirming under her intense scrutiny.

"Not a 'sin'," he finally admitted reluctantly. "Simply not the Vulcan way. A logical lifestyle does not allow for emotional displays."

"Is that why you won't acknowledge what happened between us -- not even to our closest friends?" Her voice was a mixture of pain and incredulity. "Even though it would never leave this room? Is the knowledge that for a few short hours, you actually expressed the deep feelings you normally hide ... Vulcan as well as Human feelings ... or simply the fact that we all know about it -- too humiliating for you to bear?"

Spock hung his head, not wanting to admit that she was right, but equally unable to refute her allegation.

Christine had begun to reach out to him, but dropped her hand as tears misted her eyes. "I suppose it doesn't matter to you that those few hours we spent together were the happiest of my life, that feeling your touch, your kiss, was the most wonderful experience I'd ever known. Worst of all, I was actually foolish enough to believe that you felt the same way. Well, live and learn." Sorrow and bitterness permeated her voice. "But despite that, only death can stop me from loving you ... my death." After a stunned silence on the part of the others, she continued, "Oh, don't worry. I don't intend to do away with myself. I've had rejections before. I'm not so weak that I'd fall apart after another one -- even if that one is from you, the one man I love most in all the Galaxy, even the Universe.

"Just the same, it won't be easy to live with ... but give me time. I'll find a way. Goodbye, Spock. Live long and prosper. May you find fulfillment in the life you have chosen. I only wish you had considered me worthy of sharing that life." She moved to gently caress his cheek, then lips, with her fingertips. He looked down at her; her whole heart was in her eyes and sad but tender smile. "But wherever I go, whatever I do, I'll always love you." Christine raised his hand to her lips to gently kiss it before departing.

"Christine! ... Chris! ... Miss Chapel!" The other three called after her, to no avail. (Spock was too shocked and remorseful to speak.) It seemed that she was more willing to risk punishment for insubordination than the painful knowledge that the one man she loved most would acknowledge neither her feelings nor the hours they had spent together on Omicron Ceti III.

"Well, you've done it now, Spock. The only woman who ever truly loved you for yourself -- all of you -- and you let her walk away," the Captain pointed out upon the doors' closing behind the Head Nurse. "By your own actions, or lack thereof, you've alienated her for all time."

Neither McCoy nor Uhura wanted to admit that Kirk was right, but finally had to. It seemed, too, that Spock actually regretted her leaving ... if only for that moment. But then, he stiffened his back and spoke again. "It is -- quite possible. In which case, I ... must learn to accept her loss." His voice was tightly controlled.

The Doctor broke in, his tone angry and disbelieving. "Spock, aren't you even going to try to win her back?"

"What can I do, Doctor? She has already made up her mind." The Vulcan's dark eyes blackened with the intensity of his control.

"'Do'? Plenty," Kirk retorted before McCoy could formulate a reply. "Beginning with telling her how you truly feel. You owe her that much, I think -- even if you don't tell anyone else."

There was another long silence as Spock considered these words, then nodded. "Perhaps. Perhaps ... I should try."

"Damn right you should. Not only that, you must, if only for Christine's sake. Go now, Spock. Go to her. You have no time to lose."

The Vulcan started for the door, then stopped and turned around to meet the eyes of his three companions, as if to ask permission. All three smiled and nodded in agreement -- then the First Officer turned once again and left. This time, there was no thought of stopping him in anyone's mind.

"Do you think he'll actually do it?" Kirk wondered worriedly.

"If he's smart, he will," the Doctor returned.

Uhura had to agree, but could only hope that Spock would see both the wisdom and logic in what they were attempting to do by bringing himself and Christine together, forcing each of them to acknowledge the feelings engendered by their private time together on Omicron Ceti III. It wouldn't be easy for either of them, but if they could manage to deal with those feelings, perhaps there was a chance for them to make a future together.

Until then, all they (and the others) could do was wait and pray for the successful resolution of their problem ... and most importantly, for Spock and Christine to express their growing love for one another, as well as take steps to formalize that love at the proper time. Perhaps even during the upcoming shore leave -- and both would go, even if Kirk had to pull rank and order them to go ... and McCoy deemed the vacation time therapeutic. With Uhura adding her voice, there was no way in Hell the couple could fight all three of them.

But after the way he had acted and what he'd said, Spock was understandably apprehensive about approaching Christine. At the best of times, it was difficult enough for him to deal with T'Pring, much less a woman who was in love with him, such as Christine. The main reason Spock acted so standoffish with the latter was because he was protesting himself emotionally the only way he knew how. However, it also seemed that he was alienating the very person he wanted to get close to -- even if she frightened him ... so he had to at least make the effort to help her see that he had never intended her to feel rejected or shunted aside.

Not that he had very much confidence in his ability to do this, but if he did nothing, she would be lost to him, possibly for all time -- and however difficult it was to let his guard down, Spock had to try -- for Christine's sake, if not his own. He also considered it "the logical thing to do", but that didn't make it any easier to contemplate, much less actually do. Then again, nothing worth obtaining was easy to get, as far as he could tell ... especially someone special with whom to share one's life and love.

Spock had not been so desperate since the "Galileo Seven" incident, the necessity of which had prompted him to do the most illogical thing he'd ever done (at least from a Vulcan's point of view) ... but as he had already surmised, this situation was no different. It was logical for him, of course, besides being one of the few things which might convince Christine of his sincerity. He could not, would not, let her go. This had to work!

* * *

Christine had just gotten out of the shower, her hair wrapped turban-style in a rose-print towel, her slender body in a matching terrycloth cover-up, when her buzzer sounded. At first she thought it might be Spock coming to apologize, but dismissed it almost as soon as she thought it. Someone like that wasn't about to go chasing after a woman, particularly not if he believed his actions correct and logical, however hurtful they may have been ... or so it seemed to her at the time.

It was more likely to be Nyota stopping by for some reason, though Christine wished with all her heart that it could have been Spock. Unfortunately, that was about as likely as tribbles learning to like Klingons (or vice versa), so she forced it from her mind and went to see who her unexpected caller was. Once she realized who was there, she experienced two emotions: stunned surprise and acute embarrassment. Her cheeks flamed crimson, especially when she saw the way he was looking at her -- like a hungry cat at a mouse.

"Oh ... Spock. I wasn't expecting you. I just -- took a shower, and was going to slip on a ... nightgown, then settle into bed with a good book and my favorite music."

"I -- did not mean to startle you, Miss ... Christine. I simply came to apologize for my treatment of you, and my -- denial of our interlude on Omicron Ceti III. It was ... wrong of me to accuse you of subterfuge, but -- up to this point, I have ... never engaged in any kind of -- romantic activity with a member of the opposite sex, so I ... found your story very -- difficult to believe."

"I suppose I can understand that, but it happened, nonetheless," she declared quietly. "By the way, you'd better come in if you don't want anyone to see you."

The Vulcan raised a quizzical eyebrow, then nodded with a half-smile. "Very well," he said, stepping through and away from the door so it closed behind him. He fought against a feeling of entrapment. Illogical, since he had come here of his own free will ... albeit at his friends' urging.

"Would you mind my dressing before we talk? I don't generally receive a male caller looking like this." In reality, she simply had to get away from him for a while, the situation -- and his proximity -- were entirely too tempting for her. (Well, it was at least part of the reason.)

"I quite understand. It would be most ... distracting for him."

Her eyes widened before she turned to go. "What did you say?"

"A simple statement of fact," he assured her. "Now, go ahead and dress. I will wait." Her rose-scented perfume permeating the air around her, coupled with her womanly scent, made it very difficult for Spock to keep from getting up and following her. It would not do to act like the pon farr was affecting him. He must control his libido until the proper time, and that time had not come yet.

He did his best to be patient, but after half an hour, she still had not returned, and Spock became more restless and uncomfortable with every passing moment. The Vulcan had not believed himself capable of such strong desires for a woman, especially not one he was not bonded or married to -- but he could no more deny his desires than he could deny his own existence ... or the feelings he had fought for the past week. It had done no good; in fact, they had only intensified with every passing day -- and now had come to a head.

He got up and started for her sleeping alcove, unable to help wondering if his father had felt (or still felt) this way about his mother. He considered asking her at the first opportunity. In the meantime, what he was most concerned with were his own feelings, his intense desire to be one with Christine -- not only physically but mentally.

"Christine?" he called out softly. "Where are you?"

"Spock?" She sounded surprised at first, then said, "In here." He followed her voice into the bedroom. When he reached her, she had turned to face him. "Is something wrong?"

"I ... cannot wait any longer," he found himself saying, aware of his statement's double meaning, but unable to stop himself.

"Do you need to leave?" she asked, also aware but afraid to voice it, choosing instead a neutral question as a reply.

"No," he returned, voice silky, almost a purr. "What I need -- is you."

There was stunned silence for a moment, then she spoke again. "Spock..."

"I am sorry, but this is the only way I can demonstrate to you how I have -- come to feel toward you." He moved closer to her as both of them seated themselves on her bed.

"I know, my love. There are some things which can only be said without words." Now it was her voice which had become a purr. It was she, in fact, who moved closer to him and lifted his head to face her, leaning over to kiss him warmly, lingeringly, on the lips. "I've wanted to do that for so long, Spock -- but never dreamed that you would ever want it ... or me."

His eyes glowed as she had never seen them glow before, with a mixture of love and desire which he had never dreamed himself capable of, even allowing for his Human half. Spock was both happy and incredulous, both at her having forgiven him and explained the feelings he had been unable to put a name to. "Still ..."

"What are you trying to say, Spock?" she asked quietly.

"That I -- wish to bond with you," came the equally quiet reply as the apprehensive yet captivated Vulcan made himself speak. He made himself tell her about T'Pring and his former duty bond. Upon finishing, Spock clasped his hands tightly in his lap, unsure of what his companion was thinking -- much less feeling. He wasn't even aware that he had been holding his breath until she spoke again.

"I'm ... glad you told me, Spock. I only wish you could have told me sooner. Still, after enduring something like that, it's understandable that you would want to keep women at arms' length."

"Unfortunately, that did not make it any easier for you to endure," he returned gently, stroking her cheek with a fingertip. "But it has been -- several weeks now, and I feel a need to replace the emptiness inside me with the ... mental presence of a woman who truly -- loves me, not one who simply bonded with me out of duty, because of what I could ... bring to the marriage -- not for ... myself." He sighed. "I would not blame you if you chose not to -- accept me, after the way I have ... treated you. But I cannot -- endure this ... void any longer; it must be -- filled, and I am ... asking you to fill it. That is, if I have not managed to -- destroy whatever ... feelings of love you have -- felt for me."

He could see her answer in her eyes, feel her love flowing over him through her touch, yet still needed to hear her say it. "Spock ... I would be honored -- and will do all in my power to make you happy."

"Just as I will do everything in mine to make amends for the pain I have caused you," he assured her, eyes soft as they looked deeply into hers and raised her hands to his lips. "I now wish to perform the bonding ceremony so that we may be one, for now and all time." He lifted a hand to her face and positioned it accordingly; within moments Christine felt both the warmth of his love and the heat of his desire. He made sure to be careful due to the absence of the traditional t'hy'r kalah, or "bond-witness," usually a family member or close friend ... which, in Spock's case, would be Kirk, who was familiar with his mind, more than anyone else he knew.

It was for this reason that he was hesitant at first -- but with her loving encouragement and help, Spock managed to deepen the meld between them until his feelings were hers ... and vice versa. Upon completion some twenty minutes later, he lowered his head and once again looked deeply into her eyes. When he tried to speak again, she raised a finger and pressed it to his lips to silence him.

"Beloved, you consistently give too much thought to what is real and what is not. What is real is this moment, here and now -- and our feelings for each other. What is unreal is the fear we each harbor. Do not fear for us, my love. Our love could never be wrong. I realize it's your way to question things, but just this once, accept things as they are. Forego your control, your discipline..." Her hands brought his to the closure of her floral robe and helped him undo it upon the couple's once again rising to their feet. Upon sliding the robe off her shoulders, the sight of her nude beauty was almost too much for the Vulcan/Human hybrid's heart to stand.

"Christine ... " he whispered, sounding breathless, his heart pounding almost double at her nearness. In fact, he felt light-headed, almost drunk.

"Don't fight it, my love. Just once, let yourself go -- and take me with you." With that, she daringly reached to open his shirt and slip it off his shoulders. A moment later he lifted her chin and found the sweetness of her lips with his, holding her lower body tightly against him with both hands for an interminable moment before sweeping her off her feet and into his arms to turn toward her bed and place her on it, still holding the kiss. He seemed famished for her, as though he had been starved all these years ... and so he had been, for the love of a woman who truly loved him for the person he was, Human half and all.

Soon all the lovers were aware of was the touch, scent and nearness of the other -- and so it was, all through the next several hours, in the warm, humid darkness of the Head Nurse's quarters ... and each other's arms.

* * *

As it turned out, it was not necessary for Kirk to pull rank or order the parties involved to talk to each other; they ended up doing it on their own, and quite satisfactorily, too ... but none of the couple's friends were to learn any details as to why there had been such an abrupt change of heart of the part of the Vulcan until at least another week had gone by -- and by this time, they were well into making plans to spend a week in Iowa on Kirk's family farm with his widowed mother, then the other week camping at Yosemite National Park in California.

In the midst of packing (he also helped Spock and advised him regarding the best things to take with him), ordering tickets, reserving a cabin large enough for them all to share at Yosemite -- and a generous supply of groceries, not to mention an aircar in both places, Kirk surmised ... as did the other two ... that it had taken that long for Spock and Christine to sort out their thoughts and feelings so that they would be able to explain themselves -- at the proper time.

It would be late fall in both California and Iowa, but only in Iowa would it be likely to get cold enough to freeze, possibly even snow, if the humidity was high enough. Perhaps they could go ice-skating, sledding or even sleigh riding. If it snowed enough, he and the others would then introduce Spock to snowball fights and "snow angels" ... not to mention new Terran foods, such as vegetarian burgers and pizza. Kirk, especially, wanted to see Spock's reaction when the food was set before him, even though it had originally been Bones' idea that he buy it.

He knew the Vulcan didn't ordinarily care for Italian food because of its high meat content, but the Captain had learned of a spot in his home town of Riverside (his mother had told him it had only recently opened) that featured such vegetarian foods on its menu. Because of this, Kirk had decided he would have to take everyone there at least once while they were on leave. If nothing else, he would see if the outfit had take-out orders, since Spock might refuse to go if there was any chance he might smell meat, since even the smell nauseated him and therefore all but negated his minimal appetite.

He had also suggested that the others bring swimsuits because there would be a jacuzzi in the cabin; that might be the only way to get Spock to wear one since he wasn't a good swimmer, for obvious reasons, and just sitting in the jacuzzi didn't require any knowledge of how to swim. There were also some hot springs at Yosemite where swimsuits were optional, but Kirk doubted that even he could get the Vulcan to agree to visit them. Maybe if it was just himself and Spock, or perhaps Christine. He couldn't be sure if he could get Spock to stay if the Doctor was present, even with himself and Christine as insurance, so he would have to ensure that Bones was on his best behavior should situations like that come up during their leave.

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed so quickly that it seemed to Kirk and the others that it had gone by in fast-forward; the next thing they knew, however, the Enterprise was in drydock for routine maintenance, which included refueling as well as upgrading the engines and computer system. Kirk was aware that Spock would likely have preferred to assist with at least the latter, if not the former as well -- but even if Christine and McCoy couldn't tell that Spock needed R&R, the Captain certainly could, and preferably away from the ship, away from his work. The Vulcan was a classic example of the old Terran term for a person obsessed with or addicted to work: "workaholic." Well, he wasn't going to allow it ... not this time.

* * *

They arrived at the spaceport an hour early to put their luggage aboard the shuttle which would take them to the shuttleport in Des Moines, the closest major one to the Captain's family farm. They couldn't all sit together, but fortunately were near enough so they could carry on a conversation if they wished. Kirk, Spock and McCoy were on one side of the aisle, the Vulcan at the window seat, since he wanted to look out the window (he hadn't seen much of North America, especially not Iowa, and didn't want to miss the opportunity to take it all in).

Kirk was in the middle, the Doctor on the outside in the aisle seat. Christine was in the opposite aisle seat, with Uhura in the center. She was disappointed that she wouldn't be able to speak to Spock or touch his hand periodically -- not unless he and McCoy switched seats, and on a commercial flight, seats were usually assigned and switching was frowned upon without specific, previous permission. In that case, she would simply have to make the best of it. Oh , well, at least she could smile at him once in a while -- provided he turned his head in her direction, that is ... and if he didn't, she would have to wait until they reached Des Moines for her chance.

Of course, if Spock took it into his head to avoid her and spend time with Kirk, McCoy and the Captain's mother instead, she would be left with only Uhura as companion ... and that really wasn't what she had come along for. She spent most of her time either working or with Uhura as it was, so she was frankly hoping to have at least some time alone with Spock during the leave. If he was so determined to avoid her, all she could do was be equally determined to stay near him. If she played her cards right, he would soon seek her out. They weren't on the ship now, so he wouldn't be able to get away from her that easily. She wouldn't allow it.

* * *

It was when they arrived at the Des Moines shuttleport and picked up the rented aircar after retrieving their luggage that Christine saw her chance. She helped Kirk and Spock load the storage compartment; at one point their eyes met and locked for a split second. She smiled hesitantly; for a long moment, Spock did not react, then took one slow step over to her, favoring her with a half-smile and a brief but firm squeeze of her hand. But however brief the contact was, it was enough to renew Christine's courage and strength to face whatever lay ahead in their future, not simply for the duration of their leave -- though both of the couple deemed it best to take matters one day at a time. Upon finishing the loading, they got into the car and took off.

* * *

Still, it didn't help her that once in the aircar, the Vulcan's attention was monopolized by Kirk. Spock merely allowed her touch on his hand, never squeezing it back even when she did it, seemingly oblivious to her presence for the half-hour flight to Kirk's family farm. McCoy and Uhura were asleep in the back seat, since the group had arrived shortly after midnight. They had been traveling ever since leaving the ship and everyone was exhausted.

Once again, the Head Nurse helped her two superior officers unload the aircar; once Uhura and McCoy had been sufficiently roused, they took their own luggage inside. Kirk's mother, the early-to-bed type, had retired several hours ago -- but the Captain knew the door code, so she had left a note on the door for her son, telling him to simply come in and make himself and his friends comfortable; she would see all of them in the morning.

The Captain got everyone inside and out of the cold wind, then designated the two women to share the sofa bed in the living room, the Doctor what was once his brother Sam's room, which adjoined what was once his own room. He and Spock would share that room and the twin beds therein. Within an hour, the new arrivals had been settled into bed, most of them too tired to fully undress. A shower and change of clothes would come in the morning, then they would all go to meet Kirk's mother together.

* * *

Kirk checked on his friends when he awakened at 0900 the following morning, hours later than he ordinarily did when aboard ship. He noted that Spock was lying in the twin bed opposite him, hands clasped on his chest, eyes open but not speaking. The Captain surmised that his Vulcan friend was purposely being quiet so as not to disturb him until he knew for certain whether or not the Human was awake.

Spock didn't speak as the Captain got up and put on his robe and slippers over his socks and Fleet-issue undergarments; it wasn't until he was headed for the door and preparing to leave that Spock broke his silence.

"Where are you going, Jim?"

"I want to check and see if any of the others are awake, then have a shower and maybe hunt up Mom. It's been her habit to rise at 0600 ever since I can remember, so I'm pretty sure she's up -- probably in the kitchen starting breakfast. If that's the case, I'll let everybody know and we can greet her as a group. She'd probably have a heart attack from the shock if one of you came upon her with no explanation. I should be back in a little while, probably twenty minutes to half an hour. Meanwhile, there's a bathroom Sam and I used to share just off this room, so you're welcome to use it while you're waiting ... at least until I return to shower and dress. See you later." With that, Kirk opened his bedroom door, then stepped out and was gone.

Spock got up and picked out the clothes he planned to wear that day, including undergarments, from his travel bag and looked around for the bathroom. He located the door a short distance down an adjoining hallway and made his way to it. Once inside, he was pleased to see that there was a choice between water and sonics; he chose the latter and stepped inside the shower stall after shedding the clothing he had slept in, the shower brief but thorough, his movements efficient and methodical. After getting out, he dried off and dressed in the fresh clothing. Kirk had still not returned by the time Spock came out, roughly twenty minutes later, so the First Officer decided to sit on his bed and meditate in order to get himself into the right frame of mind to face the day and whatever it held in store.

* * *

After leaving his room and Spock behind temporarily, Kirk went next door and knocked softly on McCoy's door (formerly his brother's room). "Bones?" he called quietly. For a long moment, there was silence, then he caught the sound of the doctor's snoring. He smiled and decided to let McCoy sleep since the Chief Surgeon rarely had the chance to get a full night's sleep without some kind of medical emergency. Kirk knew sleepless nights often came with the territory in McCoy's line of work (although being a starship Captain entailed quite a few as well; Kirk could testify to that).

Forty-six was hardly old, but the Doctor was considerably older than Kirk -- over ten years -- and most of the rest of the crew were anywhere from their early twenties to late thirties in age, with the exception of Scotty, who was roughly the same age as McCoy. Because of this, it was becoming progressively more difficult for the Doctor to continuously keep such late hours and deny himself rest and nourishment in the name of duty.

Of course, Kirk had done these same things himself, but he was younger and could get away with it -- at least for the time being. The Captain decided to come back after checking on the others, including his mother. She was expecting him, and he was sure she would love the extra company (once she knew they were here and had met them, that is). Just the same, he decided it was logical [Kirk smiled at the thought of Spock's pet word] to give her some warning as to just how many had accompanied him.

She probably expected at least three, because Kirk had kept her informed of his friendships with Spock and McCoy via stargrams; it would be the two women he would need to explain. She might swallow his claim that Christine was Spock's "significant other" and that Uhura was her closest friend, who had decided to accompany them since their leave had become available at too short notice for her to have been able to contact her family in time for them to prepare for her arrival ... but then again, she might not, since Anna Marie Kirk was well aware of her younger son's penchant for beautiful women. It was lucky that there was sufficient room for everyone, and the company would give Anna Kirk the chance to indulge a rarely-enjoyed passion: entertaining.

When her husband, George Samuel Kirk, Sr., was alive and their boys were growing up, the week never went by that there wasn't some large social event at the Kirk farm ... but since the senior Kirk's death and the departure of her two sons -- now grown men -- one into a career as a research biologist, the other as a starship commander -- the get-togethers were few and far between, only occurring if James Kirk was able to get home for a rare visit and bring his friends Spock and McCoy. This was the first time Spock had been here, but McCoy had been here once before.

Kirk recalled how the doctor had just completed his residency at Starfleet Medical; he had contacted Bones to invite him to go on his first home leave since joining the crew of the Farragut. McCoy was pleased and flattered at the invitation, but didn't want to intrude, so he politely declined. Kirk wouldn't take "No" for an answer, putting his friend at ease right away with reassuring words.

"Nothing to worry about, Bones. As I told you, Mom loves company ... the more, the better, especially if they're my friends. And the last time I checked, you were my friend. Am I right?"

McCoy sighed and nodded. "You're right, Jim."

"Great. Then you'll come with me?"

"I'll come."

* * *

After leaving McCoy's room, Kirk tiptoed downstairs, carefully peeking into the living room, where Christine and Uhura lay in the sofa bed. He noted that Christine seemed to be stirring, while Uhura was still deeply asleep. They looked like young girls again in sleep, the professional masks they wore on duty discarded, their hair loose and tousled, falling over their pillows like twin silken, golden and ebony waterfalls. He appreciated Christine's attractiveness, but it was Uhura's exotic beauty which made his heart skip a beat in spite of his determination to control his reaction to her. Forcing himself to turn away, he moved quietly toward the kitchen, where he believed his mother was.

He knew she liked doing as much as possible for herself, even though age and illness had slowed her down some months back -- a virulent strain of Rigellian fever having weakened her, coupled with arthritis in her hands and knees. Only recently had Anna Kirk been able to rise from her bed, where she had been confined for the better part of three months ... and even then, against her doctor's better judgment -- but she had absolutely refused to remain in bed any longer.

Even now, she could not be on her feet for more than half an hour at a time. The rest of the time, she was aided by a walker or airchair, modeled after an old-time wheelchair but equipped with a device which held it just off the floor on a cushion of air. At the moment, she was sitting in a chair at the table, her walker in front of her and a pillow beneath her.

Kirk stood at the doorway to the kitchen, peeking through a crack in the door at the diminutive woman with grey-brown hair up in two long braids wound around her small head. He quietly slipped inside the kitchen and called to her when she seemed not to notice him. "Mom?"

The seventyish woman didn't react at first, then slowly raised her head and spotted him. "Jimmy? My darling, precious boy! Is it really you, or am I dreaming?"

He smiled at the glowing happiness in her eyes and on her face. "I'm really here, Mom." He moved to her side and knelt in front of her after moving her walker aside.

"Hold me, Jimmy. Hold me so that I may believe it's really you." She held out her arms to him; he moved into them, then slid his own arms around her fragile body to gently squeeze her. Once in his mother's arms, James Kirk ceased to be a starship Captain and became simply a young man who loved his mother and wished to demonstrate that love after a long separation.

Anna Marie rested her grey-brown head on his chest for a time, listening to the beat of her son's heart, before lifting her careworn but still beautiful face to his younger one. "My boy, darling boy! I've missed you so. It's been far too long between visits."

"I've missed you too, Mom." Kirk smiled and raised her delicate hands to his lips and kissed them. "Unfortunately, the life of a starship captain doesn't allow much time for family leave."

She seemed to close her eyes in pain at the reference, then opened them again to stare at him questioningly. "If you're here, then you must be on leave now. Where are your friends?"

"Most of them are still asleep. Spock is the only one awake besides us."

Anna frowned thoughtfully. "Spock. He's the Vulcan, your First Officer, who's half-Human, right?"

"Right," Kirk confirmed.

"Which reminds me. Did your other friend Leonard McCoy, the doctor, also come? He seemed like a lovely person when we met the last time he was here, but he seemed somewhat evasive when I asked him how you two had come to be in Starfleet together."

"He's here, Mom," Kirk assured his mother. "As for his evasiveness, the reason behind his joining Starfleet is a very painful thing for him, so he doesn't talk much about it, not even to me. So many times I wish he would ... The look on his face sometimes -- It's got to be tearing him apart."

"Perhaps between all of us, we can draw him out while you're here. Meanwhile, may I ask who else came with you?"

I hope so, Kirk thought, but out loud, he said, "My Head Nurse and Communications Officer, Christine Chapel and Nyota Uhura respectively. Christine and Spock have an 'understanding', and Uhura didn't have anyone who could take her in at such short notice, so I invited her along with the rest of us. I didn't think you'd mind, since we have plenty of room and you love company."

"Certainly not," came her reassuring reply. "They're all more than welcome. I can hardly wait to meet them."

"Want me to go get them? I think the others may be awake by now. I put Bones in Sam's old room and the women on the sofa bed in the living room."

"That's fine. Yes, by all means, go get them. I'll be right here." Anna looked pale and tired, which prompted her son to frown with concern.

"Are you feeling all right, Mom? Maybe I could have Bones or Christine check you over while we're here. Remember, you do have a tendency to overwork yourself -- and spent three months in bed not too long ago."

"I've had enough mollycoddling from Dr. Grey, thank you," Anna dismissed. "Now, go on, son. Don't keep me waiting any longer."

"If you say so, Mom," Kirk sighed. He had never been able to win an argument with his mother and now was no exception. As he left the kitchen, he noted that Christine and Uhura were just getting up. The rose-decorated clock on the mantlepiece read 1030 hours. No sense letting Bones sleep the day away, not when his hostess was so anxious to see him again -- and meet the rest of his shipmates and friends.

"Christine, Uhura, get showered and dressed, then wait for me here," he called to them as the pair noticed his presence and smiled in greeting. "I'll be back down as soon as I collect Spock and Bones."

The women smiled again and nodded as Kirk continued on upstairs.

This time, when he got to McCoy's door, a simple knock got a response. A rather drowsy response, but a response, nonetheless. "Jim, is that you?"came McCoy's voice, muffled through the door.

"Yes, Bones. Get showered and dressed; my mother's waiting in the kitchen."

The Captain didn't mention how ill his mother had looked; Bones would be able to tell that for himself. Perhaps he could then find out how she really felt physically, since she was as good at hiding physical distress as he, but nothing could hide from McCoy's scanner. Kirk also happened to know that the Chief Surgeon had brought his medikit and various medical paraphernalia, while Christine had simply brought her medikit.

"Right away, Jim. Be out in a few minutes," the doctor called back.

"Go down and wait in the living room with Christine and Uhura. I have to shower and change; Spock and I will join you -- then we'll all go to meet Mom."

It was a good thing that McCoy couldn't see Kirk's worried face; as it was, he sensed something was wrong -- something that Jim wasn't telling him. "Problem, Jim?"

"Yes, but I can't talk about it now. I'll see you soon. Now get cracking." With that, Kirk continued on back to his room, where Spock was waiting, having just come out of his meditative state.

"You were considerably longer than half an hour, Jim," the Vulcan gently admonished when his Human friend entered.

"I know, but Mom and I got to talking ... then I got Bones and the girls in gear. You might as well go down and wait in the living room with them. I'll be a while."

The Vulcan looked hesitant.

"Don't worry; you'll go almost directly into the living room upon going downstairs. The door will be open and is on the right; you'll see it right away. And I'm sure Christine will be happy to see you."

"No doubt," the First Officer murmured under his breath. "Very well," he conceded. "I will see you shortly, Jim."

"Later, Spock." With a smile and wave, Kirk disappeared into the bathroom after getting some fresh clothes from his travel bag.

Spock allowed himself a smile in his friend's direction before heading for the bedroom door and going downstairs to the living room to wait for the Captain with the others.

He found it every bit as easily as Jim had promised, both Christine and Uhura turned their heads and nodded in greeting as he entered. The Head Nurse added a warm smile to hers; Spock allowed himself a smile in return. They talked a few minutes, then McCoy entered, smiling and greeting everyone with a cheery, "Good moring, everybody."

He got a response, too -- even from Spock. "Good morning, Doctor."

"Where's Jim?" McCoy asked.

"He is showering. He will be down shortly, then we will all go to meet his mother together; he has informed her of our presence and she wishes to meet us as soon as possible." That was the most the Vulcan intended to say until Kirk joined them, which he did roughly twenty minutes later.

"Is everybody ready?" the Captain added as he entered. "No time to waste. Mom's waiting in the kitchen. Follow me." He turned and left again; the other four trailed after him and all soon reached the kitchen door. "Mom?" Kirk called.

"Come in," her voice came back. McCoy's eyes met Kirk's. "She doesn't sound too good. Would you mind if I checked her over at some point?" This time the doctor frowned with concern.

"I'd appreciate it, Bones," the Captain returned. "Now let's go meet Mom." With that, he pushed open the kitchen door and they all filed in.

"Mom, we're here," Kirk said.

Anna, who had been dozing in her chair at the table, was somewhat startled as she looked up and saw her son standing in front of her, surrounded by his friends and top officers -- Spock and McCoy on his right and left respectively; Uhura and Christine were behind them. The older woman's face became thoughtful as she examined each face, her eyes finally coming back to rest affectionately on the handsome countenance of her younger son.

"Let me introduce everyone," the latter finally said, but before he could speak further, Anna broke in.

"Why not let your friends introduce themselves?" she suggested.

Kirk frowned thoughtfully, then nodded and smiled. "Why not, indeed? Who wants to go first? Spock? Bones?"

The Vulcan looked decidedly uncomfortable with the whole thing, but had resigned himself to going along with the idea.

"I will, since we've met before," the Doctor said with a smile. "A pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Kirk." He picked up her frail hand and raised it to his lips, surreptitiously checking her pulse as he did so. It was slow and erratic, almost dangerously so -- only about 45 beats per minute, as opposed to the normal 70. She also seemed unusually pale and her flesh was cold, indicating bad circulation.

She could easily have a serious heart condition because of her lengthy illness as well as her age and hypertension, not to mention arthritis. He surmised that her illness had weakened her heart, much as rheumatic fever had done to many thousands of Terrans centuries ago. She would be unable to take any shocks or too much excitement. However, this was no time for him to talk medically about Jim's mother in front of everyone. This was supposed to be a vacation, not a medical evaluation.

"It's good to see you too, Leonard," Anna smiled, settling her free hand back into her lap once McCoy had released it; the other held that of her son. "I hope we'll get the chance to have a good long talk before your leave is over."

McCoy smiled. "I hope so, too. I would appreciate such a talk ... especially if you'd allow Jim and Spock to sit in with us." This was a marked contrast to when Kirk and Spock usually got together -- for the most part, the Doctor was usually excluded. Not so much because of dislike on Spock's part, simply the fact that he was more comfortable when alone with Kirk (or Christine, for that matter) as opposed to showing any feelings in McCoy's presence, since the Doctor rarely missed a chance to pounce on any emotional display from Spock.

The Vulcan knew McCoy cared about him and meant well when he did this, but that didn't make the First Officer feel any more at ease, nor did it help the Doctor in any way. Hopefully, this action on McCoy's part would make them think twice about including him the next time they got together. Unlikely, but one could hope.

Anna squeezed her son's hand and smiled up at him -- then at Spock beside him. "Of course, Leonard. It'll be fun to tell you all about Jimmy's childhood."

The Captain lowered his head and flushed pink with embarrassment. "Mom, please ... "

"Hush, Jimmy. They'll love it," she assured him with a conspiratorial wink in the Doctor's direction; at this point, the fact of Christine and Uhura's presence was belatedly recalled. "The ladies are also welcome to join us. That is, after we're properly introduced. Come here, my dears," she beckoned to the Head Nurse and Communications Officer, who were immediately put at ease by her warm smile and inviting manner. They stepped forward and shook the elderly woman's hand in greeting after returning her welcoming smile: a smile identical to the Captain's, as was her hair (at least it must have been when she was young) and hazel eyes. The rest of Kirk's face must have come from his late father.

Like McCoy, Christine had surreptitiously checked Anna Kirk's vital signs, discovering the same things he had and vowing to discuss it with him and examine her at a later date, preferably together. Meanwhile, it was time for them to start enjoying their leave.

"We would be honored, Mrs. K -- Anna," Christine returned sincerely, changing names in mid-sentence after the old woman's steely gaze stabbed through her (again, a gaze identical to that of her son). "My name is Christine Chapel. I'm Head Nurse of the Enterprise. This is my friend, Nyota Uhura, Communications Officer. We have served aboard ship for the past two years," the nurse explained.

"What are your relationships with my son, Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy?" came the next question, so suddenly that Christine barely had time to prepare herself.

"With the Captain, I am merely his Head Nurse. I care for him when he is ill or injured. It is the same with Mr. Spock ... that is, until recently. We have been -- keeping company, seeing one another socially, for the past several weeks." This was as much as she dared say about her relationship with Spock without his approval, knowing how highly Vulcans regarded their privacy, especially when it came to their personal lives and innermost feelings.

She turned her head to meet his eyes; he nodded back approvingly, then she returned to resume her explanation to Anna Kirk as to her relationships with the Captain, First Officer and CMO.

"As for Dr. McCoy, he's a dear friend, father figure and colleague -- pretty much in that order." This time she turned her head in McCoy's direction and smiled warmly at him to emphasize her affectionate words.

The doctor's eyebrows shot up in surprise and pleasure as he returned her smile. The head nurse was almost as tight-lipped as Spock about her personal life and private feelings, so McCoy had had no idea how she regarded him until now.

"Thank you for your candor, Christine -- may I call you Christine? -- I hope we can talk privately at some point as well ... and you may bring your friend Nyota with you, too; don't worry." The older woman gave the younger another reassuring smile.

"Thank you. We appreciate that." Both of the younger women nodded appreciatively in the older woman's direction.

"Well, I think it's about time we all had breakfast," Anna observed. "It's not getting any earlier." She got up slowly, leaning heavily on her walker; Kirk helped his mother, but Christine was on her other side. Spock was further touched by this new evidence of her caring and gentleness.

"Thank you, my dear," she told Christine as she headed for the stove, where covered pots were cooking, a savory smell coming from them.

"May Nyota and I help you?" the latter offered.

"I'd appreciate that," she smiled. "Now let's get to work. It's going to take some time to fix enough food to feed all of you."

"I am a vegetarian," Spock put in helpfully.

"Then we'll have to see that you get non-meat items," Anna replied graciously, the warmth of her smile upon the Vulcan almost tangible as he was once again strongly reminded of his closest friend: especially when she treated him so non-judgmentally ... and best of all, as an equal, without prejudice or disapproval. "And thank you for being a friend to my son. It isn't often that a Vulcan and Human become so close."

"He was more of a friend to me first," Spock quietly confessed, a tint of green in his cheeks as h