DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Jiill Jackson and is copyright (c) 2001 by Jill Jackson.This story is Rated PG.



Notes from Abroad

Jill Jackson



From: SBH (Starfleet Base Hospital)

Stardate: 6111

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: Greetings

Just a note, Spock, to let you know how things are going down here on the planet Quorg. I've been so busy. This is the first chance I've had to get anywhere near a communications terminal. I don't know why I agreed to volunteer for this assignment in the first place. Oh, wait a minute ... I DIDN'T volunteer! Anyway, this place isn't really a hospital. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

-Christine-

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6111.2

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: Good Morning

From your message, Chris, I will assume your stay on the planet Quorg has not been pleasant. However, you must remember that your assignment was not intended to bring you personal pleasure. Your skills are badly needed at the base hospital at this time, until new recruits can be transported. It is a temporary crisis.

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6111.3

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: (What's Good About It) Morning

Ah, I see you're online. Anyway, the 'skills' you're talking about could just as easily be performed by a trained chimp down here. TPTB are having me do all the drudgery work. I just turn my brain off and keep moving.

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6111.4

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: Not Too Bad Morning

I am quite sure your skills at dealing with people are highly valued at the hospital. Also, your ability to learn new procedures in a short amount of time is to be greatly admired. Please do not compare yourself to a trained chimpanzee.

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6111.5

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: (If I Say It's Bad, It's Bad) Morning

Do I look like a freakin' people person? Anyway, you're right -- I've come a long way in Starfleet. I started off with nothing and I still have most of it left. Oh well, I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6111.6

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: (Whatever You Say) Morning

My father once asked me why I wanted a career with Starfleet. My reply was quite thoughtful and concise. I believe it was the pretend paychecks that finally convinced him of the rightness of my decision.

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6111.7

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: (Getting Better) Morning

Why, Spock, I believe my sarcasm is rubbing off on you!

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6111.8

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: (Almost?) Good Morning?

Sarcasm is just one of the services you offer, my dear. I'm glad to see that a stressful situation has not dampened your unique sense of humor.

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6111.9

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: Fair to Middling Morning

Do you know what the definition of stress is? Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6112

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: (Middling??) Morning

Stress is when aliens forget to remove your anal probe.

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6112.2

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: Damn Good Morning!

Well, Mr. Spock, that sounds like a medical problem to me. Better have a nurse help you out there. Um, when I'm back on board, of course. In the meantime, I'm stuck on this planet of freaks. And I'm not talking about the natives. I'm talking about the hospital staff!

*****************************************

From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6112.3

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: (Condemn to Hell?) Good Morning

As the Captain would say, "Too many freaks, not enough circuses."

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6112.4

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: (All Purpose Swear Word) Good Morning

The Captain said THAT?

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6112.6

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: (Vulcan Oath) Good Morning

After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that I, myself, may have originated the circus observation. I plead contemporary insanity.

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6112.7

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: Very Good Morning!

Don't you mean temporary insanity? Oh, wait a minute......

Well, I need to return to my duty station now. Perhaps I can talk to you later? I really must sign-off. All around me is chaos, panic, and disorder, it seems.

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6112.8

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: Very Good Morning Indeed

Chaos, panic, disorder? Ahh, then your work there is done?

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From: SBH

Stardate: 6112.9

To: Enterprise (Commander Spock)

Subject: Good Morning, Good-Bye!

I'll get you later for that one, Spock! Good-Bye!

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From: Enterprise

Stardate: 6112.95

To: SBH (Chapel, RN)

Subject: Good-Bye

And a Damned Good-Bye to you, too, Chris. And always remember the ancient Vulcan saying as you go about your daily tasks: Beware of alien dwarfs bearing anal probes.



The End

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