DISCLAIMER: Star Trek belongs to Paramount/Viacom/etc. The story contents are the creation and property of Cindy DeVoe and are copyright (c) 2002 by Cindy DeVoe. This story is Rated NC17. Addendum to Disclaimer : The quoted reading is from "Letters to a Young Poet" by Rainer Maria Rilke, Stephen Mitchell Translation. The use of these quotes are not intended in any way to infringe upon the copyright holders of Mr. Rilke's work. They are meant as a testament to the author's timeless understanding of human (and Vulcan) nature.

All That I Am

Cindy DeVoe

Spock entered the temporary quarters he had been assigned. Barren, was his first thought as he scanned the room. "Barren, like V'ger; and me..."

He set to unpacking the small satchel he had brought with him from Vulcan. The task took less then ten minuets to complete. He had possessed little while on Gol. Placing the meditation robe on the bed, he sat and removed his boots. So much to consider, his decision to remain aboard Enterprise was the first of many choices to come.

Is this all that I am? Is there nothing more?

The first wave of pain brought him to his knees. He clutched the side of the bed for support as he tried to clear his mind and pull himself up. He made it to his feet only to succumb to a second more agonizing wave, bringing him fully to the floor. Terror gripped Spock's mind, ALONE!

I am dying and I am alone. Is there no one?

"Help me..."

* * *

Christine checked the bio bed monitor as crewman Jensen took several deep breaths.

"Okay, Jensen, I pronounce you fit for duty."

The crewman swung his legs off the bed and stood in a single movement.

"Thanks, Doc. Nothing personal but I hope I don't see you again for a while." He smiled as he straighten his shirt. Christine chuckled as she noted the medical log.

"Keep your breather on next time you go into a conduit to vent it and maybe you won't."

"Yes, Ma'am" he acknowledged as he walked out the door.

Christine simply shook her head as she walked into the office she and Leonard McCoy now shared and plopped into the chair opposite his desk.

"Well, I'm calling it a day. I just discharged our last patient and I have it on good authority that Nyota is in the officer's lounge with a whole new collection of songs. Care to join me?"

McCoy leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head.

"Now that's an invitation I shouldn't pass up." He smiled but then motioned to the data pads littering his desk. "But I think I'm going to have to take a rain -check, Chris. You go on and have fun for both of us." He lowered his head and picked up a pad.

"Suit yourself" was all she said as she rose to leave.

McCoy's head popped up as Christine exited. "Christine, could I ask for a favor before you go?"

"Sure."

"Check on Spock. He's holed up in his quarters and hasn't checked in since he went off duty."

"Oh, I'm sure that will go over real well, Leonard." She rolled her eyes in mock exasperation "So, where are his quarters anyway?"

McCoy pulled another data pad from the pile.

"Deck 5, O-43."

"Alright, I'll let you know how he is once I get back to my quarters."

She picked up a med scanner as she walked out of sickbay.

Beta shift had already been on duty for nearly an hour so the corridors were empty as Christine rounded the corner to the turbo lift. The lift door slid open on her approach.

"Deck 5."

Taking advantage of the empty lift she rolled her head from side to side attempting to relieve some of the muscle tension that had accumulated over the past 24 hours.

Good grief, what a day -- I thought I was through with 14 hour work days when I finished my residency. Ah, what the heck. At least we saved the Galaxy, again ...

She laughed at the thought and stepped out onto the Officer's deck. She took a quick glance at the wall map, O-43 was down the far end. "Figures,"she muttered as she moved down to Spock's door with cool efficiency and rang the buzzer.

No answer.

As she raised her hand to ring again she heard a faint thud from within. She hit the control panel. "Computer, medical override Authorization Chapel Omega 417."

Christine was in before the door could finish opening, she scanned the room and found Spock on the floor in the sleeping area. Hitting the com button on the desk she called out as she went to him "Sick Bay, I need an emergency team to deck 5, O-43 STAT!"

Kneeling at his side she moved the med scanner as she spoke.

"Spock, can you hear me? Can you tell me what happened?" Dropping the scanner she took his face in her hands.

"Spock!"

His eyes fluttered half open trying unsuccessfully to fully focus. "Cis- een..." He took in a short breath. "ont eve e..." His eyes rolled back in his head as his lids closed.

"Spock, SPOCK!"

The med team rushed in with McCoy in the lead.

Christine stood to allow the team access to Spock as they lifted him onto the gurney.

"He's in near total neurological failure as best I can tell. Only autonomic nerves system seems to be functioning. I found him on the floor, he spoke in a garbled manner but he did know me."

The team moved down the hall and into the turbolift McCoy barking orders as Christine brought up the rear.

* * *

James Kirk ended the subspace call and turned the chair to face the two doctors standing just behind him. "Well, you heard it. Star Base 14 best speed, that gives us four days. Any suggestions?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," McCoy replied.

Christine offered him a data pad with the Federation Medical Council seal on the cover.

Jim scanned the file as Christine spoke.

"It may be Spock's best chance. Every thought from opening our eyes, to speaking, to curling our toes involves a complex series of electrical impulses that travel inside our brains. If you disrupt those pathways, as in Spock's case, through injury or trauma the brain can no longer process the information. In essence the information flow is cut off. The Neuro Simulator was designed to be a bridge between the receptors and transmitters of the brain. A tool to jump start the brain as it heals and relearns how to send and receive the millions of messages it processes every minute."

Kirk looked up from the pad. "And Star Base 14 doesn't have one of these?" He eyed Christine almost suspiciously.

"No, sir, they do not."

"Well, who does?"

"We do, sir," Christine smiled coyly.

McCoy jumped in. "Jim, look at the cover page again and take notice of the designers."

Flipping the back key he studied the cover page for a full 30 seconds before looking up at Christine. "And when did you and Scotty have the time to do this?"

Her smile broadened. "We've been working on it since before the Enterprise was in space dock. In fact we started talking about it about two and a half years ago, right after Sigma Draconis VI."

Christine sighed and looked toward the ICU as she realized it had been an issue of Spock's brain then also.

Neither McCoy nor Kirk missed the irony.

"All right, Bones, Christine, now how do I convince Star Fleet to let us try your Neuro Stimulated instead of taking Spock to Star Base 14?"

McCoy cleared his throat causing Jim to realize that this was going to be a doozy.

"You don't."

"I don't? Then what ... ?"

McCoy continued, "You let Sarek convince them, after you fill him in and get him on our side."

Jim began to choke as he looked at the pair of friends before him, heads cast down as though they were truly remorseful for placing him in such a difficult situation -- the slight smiles they attempted to hide gave them away. Jim sat back in the chair and sighed.

"Yes, Mr. Ambassador, Admiral James Kirk here. Yes the same James Kirk that your only son left Vulcan to join in yet another life and death struggle to save the known Galaxy. Yes, Sir, I realize he abandoned all he had been working towards there for nearly a year. Yes, the Kolinahr, total logic, to chase a living machine that was totally logical, that is until he mind melded with it.

"Then we gave it a few human emotions because Spock thought that was what it needed. Oh, yes, he discovered he needed them too but he didn't get a chance 'cause now his brain is fried because of the mind meld with that logical machine. By the way, would you please trust us illogical human to use an untried device that might fix him back up again so he can get back to the business of exploring his humanity? Oh, and would you please clear this all with Star Fleet for us too because they don't quite see it our way?"

Spent he threw his head back against the neck rest. "That about cover it?"

Christine stood dumb struck, fortunately Leonard McCoy was not.

"Yup, that's about it, Admiral, Sir. Except for one other thing."

Jim gave up, leaned forward placing his elbows on the desk and buried his face in his hands.

"What else?"

Christine found her voice "We'll need a Vulcan Healer, too."

His face still hidden he half laughed. "Why?"

"Because we need to be sure he's in there. The only way to know for sure is with a mind meld and for that we need a healer."

"Makes sense."

Admiral James T. Kirk picked his head up and tapped the com link. "Bridge, I need a subspace connection to Vulcan, Ambassador Sarek. Let me know when you get him, I'll be in Sick Bay."

"Aye, Sir" came the reply.

"Well, who's making the coffee?"

* * *

Spock seemed to float. His body seemed to be functioning. He seemed to sense himself breathing. His heart was beating and he could hear faint noises around him. Voices, yes, there were voices. Jim... McCoy ... and Christine Chapel. Christine had found him and had summoned help.

Something about a device and Sigma Draconis VI... YES, that was it! He felt as he had then. Contact Sarek? A healer? Did any of it make sense? Perhaps but he was certain he was not thinking clearly...

* * *

Christine left the Officers Mess and headed to Sick Bay. It had been eight hours since Admiral Kirk had spoked to Sarek. The conversation had gone better then expected, Sarek had actually seemed receptive to their proposals. He would, hopefully, get back to them soon with his decision.

Leonard had insisted that she get some sleep after the call had been competed and she had nothing left in her to try arguing She had awoke after only five hours but felt refreshed enough to go to the gym for her Tai Chi class and then breakfast. She had discovered Tai Chi while in school in England, Cambridge had been a time of many discoveries. The calm and energy that it brought her had been lost for several years, after Roger, but she had rediscovered it during the last year of her first tour on Enterprise. The class that had begun then had restarted before they had left Space Dock with old and new crew both adding it to their daily routine.

Sick Bay was quiet, thankfully. Nurse Anne Tucker was at the work station imputing the charts Leonard has signed off on the night before. The single uncleared data pad sat on the corner of the station top. Christine walked over and picked it up. "Morning, Anne, all quiet?"

The nurse looked up smiling. "Yes, thankfully. Dr. McCoy asked me to tell you there hadn't been any change in Commander Spock's condition. No word from Vulcan yet either. Lieutenant Uhura is in with him now."

"Holler if you need me," Christine commented as she walked towards ICU. As she got closer to the room, Christine heard the sound on a soft harp song, bringing a smile to her face. It seemed to be the unspoken rule among Spock's friends that he not be alone for any length of time. An anchor to the world around him as well as a reminder that there were so many waiting for him.

She stood in the doorway and listened to her friend play. Nyota looked up seeing Christine and stopped.

"Don't stop, Ny. There's always the chance that he can hear you."

Nyota shook her head and rose. "I should be going any way, I'm due on the Bridge soon."

Christine moved into the room and checked the monitor above Spock's head.

The sound of the com unit drew both women's attention.

"Doctor Chapel," Nurse Tucker called. "It's Ambassador Sarek asking to speak to you."

Christine walked to her desk and tapped the monitor switch on. Sarek's image appeared. He looked years older then he had the night before.

"Mr. Ambassador."

"Doctor Chapel, you have my consent to treat Spock. I have discussed the matter with Star Fleet Command and they have supported my decision. A healer has been dispatched to rendevous with the Enterprise. She will arrive at the rendevous co-ordinates in 27.4 standard hours."

Christine maintained a calm expression, not allowing her relief to gush through.

"Thank you, Ambassador Sarek, we will keep you appraised of Spock's condition if there are any changes and of course as soon as the surgery is over."

Sarek nodded and motioned to his side.

"My wife wishes a word with you as well, Doctor."

Christine allowed herself a small smile as Amanda moved in closer and Sarek moved aside.

"Christine, is there anything else we can do?" Christine knew instinctively all of the questions the woman was not asking and answered them first.

"No, Amanda, he's not in any pain, that much we can tell and there's a good chance that the damage has not effected his mind. We can't be certain until the healer has seen him but there are indications of higher brain activity. There really isn't anything any of us can do for now except pray." She hoped her words were some comfort.

Amanda's face relaxed.

"Thank you, I know you are all doing all you can -- we both do."

Sarek's face reappeared also seeming softer.

"We will speak again, Doctor, once you have competed the surgery. Sarek out."

The screen went blank.

* * *

The call came in to Sick Bay from the Bridge exactly 27.3 hours later. Christine was on her way to the transporter room a moment after that. She nodded to Janice Rand as she entered and Rand began the transporter sequence. The image on the platform that materialized was not what either woman had expected.

She was sitting on a medium sized suitcase, attired in blue denim jeans, a pale yellow sweater and desert hiking boots. Her complexion was much darker than Spock's, almost bronze. Her sable hair swept up into a simple french braid Christine turned to Janice but found no help, only a mirrored image of what she knew her own slack jawed expression must have been. Somehow she found her voice as she took a step forward.

"Welcome to the Enterprise, I am Doctor Christine Chapel," she began then remembered the Vulcan greeting and continued as she raised her hand in the traditional salutation gesture. "Live long and prosper."

T"Raul rose from her makeshift seat and returned the gesture almost half-heartedly. "Peace and long life. I am T"Raul, I come to serve." She was as tall as Christine and slender with a hint of well formed muscles showing beneath the denim. She began to rub her hands together. "Goddesses, don't your people believe in heat? No wonder Spock's on death's door. He probably has hypothermia!" The Vulcan woman moved off of the platform, suitcase in tow. "I suppose we had best take a look at our patient, Doctor. I'd lead the way but we would just get lost."

Christine was once again struck speechless but managed to motion to the door and start down the hall. They walked a few feet before Christine felt confident she could speak without stammering. Was this a glimpse of Vulcan humor or sarcasm? She really wasn't sure, so she decided that the best course of action was polite professionalism until she was certain.

"I can have a crewman take your bag to your quarters and adjust the temperature in your quarters so you'll be more comfortable, if you like."

T'Raul paused in her stride. "I would appreciate that, thank you." She chided herself mentally for her lack of poise towards this human colleague. She has no knowledge of your distress, nor of your true reasons for being here.

* * *

Christine stood a silent vigil as T'Raul melded with Spock. The healer's demeanor had noticeably changed as she prepared to enter Spock's mind. There was no longer any sign of her earlier sarcasm.

Christine felt as though she was on the edge of some great precipice, everything depended on this. Spock depended on this, if the meld proved that he was not trapped within, then he was lost. She coked her head as T'Raul began to whisper in Vulcan.

Hope sprang, she had not broken the meld. Leonard moved into the room and stood next to her. Christine held a single finger to her lips and returned her focus to the drama before them.

T'Raul spoke again in Vulcan and then she began to laugh. She moved away from Spock's side and faced the two bewildered humans.

"He is there and would very much like to come out."

* * *

Christine led the surgical team through the upcoming procedure as they sat around the briefing table adjacent to the OR. They each had an opportunity to see the device, discuss the necessary trajectory of each fiber optic probe that would carry the current to Spock's brain and go over their roles during surgery. T'Raul would maintain a meld with Spock throughout the proceedings to assure his mind was not being adversely effected. Anne Tucker would be the surgical nurse . After several minutes of debate, it had finally been decided that McCoy would preform the actual surgery and Christine would assist. T'Raul sat quietly observing the interaction until Doctor Chapel's curious comment to Doctor McCoy.

"Leonard, you have the advantage. You've been in there before!"

The healer's startled reaction quelled the debate. "Been there before? My understanding has been that this procedure has never been tried!"

Christine nearly snickered as she saw T'Raul's bewildered expression. It was so much nicer being on this side of confusion. It wasn't that she disliked the healer, she didn't know her well enough for that, yet Christine decided that it was distracting trying to figure her out and she had no time for distractions right now. McCoy, seeing Christine's reaction, feared a good ol' cat fight brewing and stepped in.

"That is true, this procedure hasn't been done before, Ma'am. What Doctor Chapel is referring to was another surgery I had done on Spock several years ago."

"Brain Surgery?" T'Raul's head tilted slightly as her curiosity peeked. Leonard smiled as he rose from the briefing table.

"Why don't I tell you all about it while we prep and scrub?"

T'Raul silently followed McCoy out of the room leaving Christine and Anne sitting alone. Christine shrugged as she looked at Anne then began to laugh.

"Well, you heard the man, let's scrub."

They walked from the briefing room both laughing . As they got to the OR they could hear McCoy nearly halfway through with the story of Sigma Draconis VI. T'Raul was wrapped in the story, her expression unmistakable awe.

* * *

The quiet of her cabin should have been a comfort to T'Raul but instead she found it most disconcerting. She had preformed all of the necessary tasks, placing her belongings neatly into there temporary homes. The call to Vulcan had been placed and Sarek had been informed that Spock was in no immediate danger. They surgery had gone well, his katra was intact. She had established a light link between them so she would be alerted to any change in his condition warranting her retrieval of it. Spock would not be lost as Sonak had! She had neglected to tell Sarek of his son's reply when told she would carry his katra home if needed nor her responding laughter at his assurance that "I am not quite through with it yet, thank you."

Perhaps she would venture back to Sick Bay. She might find Leonard there or Doctor Chapel. She found McCoy fascinating and quite charming, in a human sort of way. There had been little opportunity to converse with Chapel maybe that would change now that the surgery was over.

She walked out of the door and headed for the turbo lift.

* * *

Christine placed the book in her lap and closed her eyes. She had been reading aloud to Spock for nearly an hour and had finally decided to call it a night

T'Raul stood just inside the ICU. She assumed that Christine was asleep and turned to leave.

Christine opened her eyes. "T'Raul, did you need me?"

The Vulcan woman turned and reentered the room. "I did not mean to disturb you." She saw the book on Christine's lap and motioned to it. "A paper book? Is it the habit of most humans to read in this manner?"

"No, not at all. Why ?"

"My experience with humans has been limited. The lady Amanda also prefers text in this form and now seeing you with a similar paper book..."

Christine couldn't help but smile. "Actually, very few humans would even possess a book like this today. I developed a fondness for them when I was quite young. My uncle collects old texts, mostly fiction and poetry from the early 20^th century."

"I see." T'Raul paused and sniffed the air. "Tal de Mar?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I smell Tal de Mar."

"Oh, the flowers." Christine motioned to the far corner of the room, on a small table was a vase with a tangle of small silver flowers and a misting bottle. "Hikaru Sulu brought them from the arboretum. He thought it might remind Spock of home."

T'Raul moved to the vase and sprayed the blossoms, a faint sound of bells came from them.

Christine's expression was sheer delight at the discovery. "How beautiful."

T'Raul allowed a smile to cross her lips. "On Vulcan Tal de Mar is a common vine. In the early morning when there is a mist they sing. It is most beautiful to hear." She looked at Spock and continued. "You seek to stimulate his senses in the most unique ways."

"Thank you, I think. It seemed the logical thing to do."

T'Raul cocked her head. "I am never certain if you are baiting or mocking me."

It was Christine's turn to laugh. "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing."

"Indeed?"

The sound of laughter doubled as they began to walk out of the room together. Christine paused at the door, turning to face their patient, "Good night, Spock." then continued out.

T'Raul stopped and watched the one-sided exchange. Fascinating, it would seem that many of her preconceptions concerning these humans were unreasonable. They cared for Spock, they were his friends. Throughout the day there had been a continual stream of visitors. Admiral Kirk had spent a considerable amount of time in Sick Bay either sitting with Spock or McCoy. Mr. Scott, the engineer who had worked with Chapel on the Neuro Simulator had looked in as well as Lieutenant Commanders Uhura and Sulu and Lieutenants Chekov and Rand. She returned her attention to Christine.

"Tell me, Doctor, where would one find a light meal on this soaring city of yours?"

The question stopped Christine in her tracks. Had she really been so self-encapsulated that she had not even explained the simplest things about Enterprise to their guest?

"My God, T'Raul! I am so sorry. There is no excuse for my inhospitality!" She was genuinely horrified.

T'Raul laid a hand on Christine's arm and stepped in front of her. "Doctor Chapel. Christine, there is a saying among my people. The cause is sufficient. It has been rather -- what is your word? Hectic around here since my arrival. I realize no insult was intended nor was any taken."

Christine sighed and T'Raul moved aside as she continued.

"Now, shall we get something to eat?"

* * *

Spock listened to the exchange between the two woman first inside then outside his door. Amusement was his first reaction. T'Raul had surely met her match in wit as well as sheer tenacity in Christine, of that he was certain. Perhaps they would find even more, given time he was sure friendship would follow. The thought pleased him greatly for some unknown reason. It was his last thought before sleep claimed him.

* * *

T'Raul entered her cabin feeling tired and yet incredibly stimulated. The evening has been filled with discoveries, all quite pleasing. She had indulged shamelessly in several Terran food choices along with a few Vulcan staples. She had decided she liked baked potato with sour cream and chives but was still uncertain about Brussel sprouts. Broccoli with cheese was very good though. The Officers Lounge had been most entertaining as well. She had seen and in fact heard a piano played several times before but it had never emitted the sounds she had heard tonight. Rock and Roll. Yes, that was what Miss Uhura had called it. Equally fascinating were her discoveries concerning Christine Chapel. It seemed their lives had many parallels beside the obvious one in medicine. Each had lost parents in deep space, becoming estranged from their surviving parent to be raised by others. Each had also lost the men they were to marry and had found solace in their careers.

T'Raul curled into the small bunk and allowed her mind to relax, falling quickly into sleep.

* * *

They would be banished from the Kolinahr if anyone were to discover their deceit, yet it did not stop them. No longer children, they were held less and less by the fear that the priestesses and priests had used to claim obedience. They were betrothed after all. Why should they not know each other better. It was within their rights. How they planned on acquiring their knowledge was not though, so they met in secret. Her breath quickened as she saw him, her heart sang and her loins tingled. Tonight they would truly discover each other. He approached and extended two fingers to her, she returned the gesture. Their embrace continued traveling along the other's arms, shoulders and faces. His fingers lingered on her lips and she could not resist the urge to softly run her tongue across them. His gasp sent her further and she gently sucked the tip of one. He could stand no more and pulled her closer, forcing her to reluctantly release her hold.

"T'Raul, T'hy'la, I burn for thee." He moved his mouth along her shoulder as he spoke, grazing his teeth then gently nipping her flesh at the crux of her neck. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he continued his assault upon her scenes. She felt him move aside the straps that held her gossamer gown and allowed it to fall to the floor at her feet. Her body completely exposed to him now, his roving mouth and hands ventured forward to unexplored territory. He gently circled her breasts with both hands them lowered his mouth to one. Her hands moved across his back, up to his hair running her fingers through it as she pulled his mouth closer. He pulled her into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around her now erect nipple then moving on to the other.

Guiding her hands to the clasp of his robe he urged her forward in her own discoveries. It took little to encourage her. Her hands moved up his chest to his shoulders pushing the robe from him, revealing his muscular frame. He shrugged the garment to the floor and continued his journey along her left arm, stopping to brush his lips along the inside of her wrist. They became a tangle of roaming hands and mouths. Their gasps for air quickened as each allowed their hands to traverse lower. He slipped first one, then another finger into her wetness, reaching deep within and moving as though he were rendering some exotic song upon his harp. Her own hand sliding down to caress his swollen member, he gasped in response and continued his musical play even deeper within her. Moving from his penis to the sack below for a moment, the glands became harder as well with each stroke. Understanding his anatomy she sought to further his arousal and moved her other hand behind gently inserting a finger in and massaging the inner wall. He could stand no longer, her legs had begun to quiver as well.

Slowly they moved to the makeshift bed they had prepared in the hidden chamber. He laid her down amid the pillowed bed, she opened to him as he lowered himself atop her. His hand rested on her meld points, she mirrored his action and their minds joined in unison with their bodies. They moved as one, conjoined, competed! How could such joy be forbidden or denied?

He lifted her hips to allow even deeper penetration as his thrusts quickened, Her breath ragged, she matched his need, lifting to meet him stroke for stroke. Her mind filled with his sensations, flooded with the primal desire that he was -- that they both were. He began to tremble or was it she... For an instant terror gripped her, the thought that she could forever be lost within his mind! He thrust again, bringing them each to the brink, in that moment she decided that oblivion was a small price for this moment. Slamming into her once more, their minds and bodies exploded in a nova of release, wave upon wave took them both. As they spiraled uncontrollably helplessly through the blinding sensations she cried out his name.

"Sybok"

T'Raul woke, perspired. weeping in the throws of a shattering orgasm. Through her tears she sobbed his name once again.

* * *

Leonard McCoy nodded to the night shift duty nurse as he walked into the ICU. What was her name? Lord, it's gonna take me a month to figger out all of these new faces. He picked up the data pad at the door and checked the recorded information then turned to Spock.

"Well you stubborn, green blooded pain in my ... What are ya waitin for? Everything shows that you can get up and tap dance out of here so why don't you?"

No response.

"If you think I'm gonna wait around forever, you got another think comin' to ya. I'm not past pokin' you with a cattle prod if I thought it would work."

Still nothing.

Leonard's expression softened as he shook his head. "Alright, Spock, have it your way. It's no fun when you can't fight back, so keep working on getting back to us. We'll start physical therapy later today. We're not giving up, so don't you."

He moved to the bedside table and removed a packet from the drawer and pulled the covers back from Spock's still body. He leaned in close to Spock's ear and whispered.

"I swear if you ever tell anyone that I gave you a bath I will find that cattle prod!"

He moved across Spock's body with the steri cloth, checking the monitor for any changes that might indicate a response to the simulation. As he moved across his friend's chest, he was rewarded with several blips and sliding indicators.

"Well, ya felt that now, didn't you?" He smiled as he lifted the covers back over Spock's chest.

T'Raul stood silently watching as the monitor continued to blip and move throughout the cleansing. As McCoy finished she stepped in.

"Quite promising."

Leonard turned and immediately smiled. "Good morning. Yes, it certainly is, isn't it."

"Indeed."

" Did you rest well?"

"Yes, thank you." A lie. The remainder of her night had been spent in deep meditation but rest had been elusive.

"Sometimes new foods just before bed can give you some rather weird dreams."

"No." Another lie. Perhaps the Brussel sprouts had been to blame?

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No, no yet." Finally, the truth.

Christine walked into Sick Bay looking bright and refreshed. She walked over to stand with McCoy and T'Raul.

"Morning, you two. Any changes?" McCoy handed her the chart and attempted to hide his smile.

Her spirits brightened as she read his notes. "Wonderful!"

"Looks like he's coming around," Leonard commented then turned back to T'Raul as Christine entered the ICU to see their patient herself.

"Why don't I introduce you to a good ol' southern breakfast? Juice, coffee, hot cakes and ..."

He stopped in mid sentence as he heard Christine gasp and then laugh from inside the room.

"What now?" He grumbled as he walked in followed by T'Raul. Christine was trying desperately to bring air into her lungs as she pointed to Spock.

In a faint whisper, McCoy could just barely make out the words, coming from Spock's lips.

"Not grits."

McCoy's face beamed then turned to mock outrage. "Why you ..." He stopped himself realizing that T'Raul was beside him.

"And what's wrong with grits?"

* * *

Christine settled into the chair next to Spock's bed and found her place. She had been more then a little surprised when Spock had inquired whether she would continue reading this evening but had willingly complied with his request.

"We have no reason to harbor any mistrust against our world, for it is not against us. If it has terrors, they are our terrors; if it has abysses, these abysses belong to us; if there are dangers, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life in accordance with the principle which tells us that we must always trust in the difficult, then what now appears to us as the most alien will become our most intimate and trusted experience. How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

"So you mustn't be frightened, dear Mr. Kappus, if a sadness rises in front of you, larger than any you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything you do. You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change."

Spock felt as though he was falling under some delicate hypnotic reverie as Christine's voice filled his mind. He considered the words spoken, as well as the woman speaking them. Each, he was discovering, possessed profound importance in his life.

"Don't be too quick to draw conclusions from what happens to you; simply let it happen. Otherwise it will be too easy for you to look with blame (that is: morally) at your past, which naturally has a share in everything that now meets you. But whatever errors, wishes, and yearnings of your boyhood are operating in you now are not what you remember and condemn. The extraordinary circumstances of a solitary and helpless childhood are so difficult, so complicated, surrendered to so many influences and at the same time so cut off from all real connection with life that, where a vice enters it, one may not simply call it a vice. One must be so careful with names anyway; it is so often the name of an offense that a life shatters upon, not the nameless and personal action itself, which was perhaps a quite definite necessity of that life and could have been absorbed by it without any trouble. And the expenditure of energy seems to you so great only because you overvalue victory; it is not the "great thing" that you think you have achieved, although you are right about your feeling; the great thing is that there was already something there which you could replace that deception with, something true and real. Without this even your victory would have been just a moral reaction of no great significance; but in fact it has become a part of your life."

Christine paused reaching for the glass of water she had set beside her and desperately hoped that Spock had not detected the tears that stained her cheeks.

* * *

Physical Therapy was not her speciality but Christine thought she might have hit on a plan that would work for Spock. Physically, his strength was returning but balance and muscle fatigue were still a problem. Mentally he seemed well but T'Raul said little about their progress in the meld sessions. On the surface there was a quiet acceptance of the changes Spock was experiencing but Christine could see just beneath the surface to the battle that raged within him. His reactions to stress or frustrations betrayed emotions he had thought long ago mastered. V'ger had changed him, how permanent or welcomed those changes would be, remained to be seen.

Spock entered the converted gym and examined the equipment, some familiar, other things were questionable. His attention was drawn to a very large ball against the far wall, atop in was Christine Chapel. He allowed his brows to climb in typical Spockian fashion, brining a smile to her face at the familiar expression.

"A most interesting perch you have chosen, Doctor."

Chris slid from the ball eliciting an intake of air from Spock that almost sounded like a slight gasp.

"Oh, this isn't for me, Spock, it's for you."

"Indeed?" He registered, in his mind somewhere, that his pulse had quickened at her words and approach.

"It's a rather old but very effective multi use physical therapy tool. First we use it to loosen you up." She motioned for him to join her next to the ball.

* * *

T'Lar entered the study adjacent to T'Pau's sleeping chamber and stood quietly waiting to be acknowledged. T'Pau raised her head slightly from the screen in front of her. Her voice was as frail as her body.

"What thee ask of me is in not logical, T'Lar."

The younger woman stepped further into the room to stand before her mentor and friend.

"Perhaps, but no more so than T'Sai's petition to the High Council. I believe that my cause is sufficient, T'Pau. What logic is there in Spock's death?"

"There is no surety that T'Sai's request shall result in Spock's death."

T'Lar set her posture, ready for the challenge T'Pau had silently set before her. Prove to me that Spock may die and I will consider you argument.

"In all of our recorded history never has a katra been removed and replaced without damage to the owners mind. The fal-tor-pan is a complete transfer of the katra from a host to the rightful owner. That in itself holds grave danger to both, but to remove a portion of the katra and place it in the great hall has never been tried."

T'Pau's demeanor shifted from interest to disappointment.

"Is thy argument meant for the sake of Spock or the honor of thy clan? Seleya should be the sight of fal-tor-pan, not Gol?"

"Thee are partly correct. If this must be done then I seek that it be done on Seleya not Gol but for Spock's safety not for any clan honor. I see no honor in this, T'la'kya." T'Lar hoped her use of the familiar name for beloved teacher would be accepted by T'Pau with the respect she had intended. She continued when she saw no sign of rebuke.

"T'Raul has melded with Spock several times through these past days and feels confident she will be able to isolate the information Spock acquired from his meld with the V'ger device. This is all T'Sai truly wishes from Spock, is it not?"

T'Pau considered T'Lar's words. This was all T'Sai was truly interested in. The knowledge, and with it the power, that the Kolinahr would weld if they were ever able to understand it. "Thee believes that T'Raul has mastered the skills necessary?"

T'Lar bowed her head slightly. T'Raul was her own prized student. It had been she who had taken T'Raul into the seclusion of Seleya after Sybok's exile and T'Sai's threats to banish the young girl T'Raul as well. She had seen in T'Raul an ability that with proper training would someday rival her own or even T'Pau's. T'Raul's mind was as keen and gifted as Sybok's, a knowledge she had kept to herself until now.

"Her skill and ability matches either of ours, perhaps exceeds it."

"Spock will return to Vulcan with T'Raul. I will consider your request until they arrive."

T'Pau motioned to the door with her eyes leading T'Lar to take her leave.

* * *

Spock watched as Christine demonstrated the correct position for the first exercise, her limber body acutely enhanced by the pail blue leotard she wore. She lay atop the ball rolling it forward as she walked her body along its length with her hands. When the ball reached her feet she reversed her motion until the ball was again under her chest. Spock watched with consideration and increasing discomfort as her legs remained extended, stretching her muscles in a most pleasing fashion. He admonished himself mentally. He could name each muscle as well as its functions yet his most cohesive thought was how pleasing her ass was. Christine rose and sat astride the ball with a puzzled expression.

"Spock, are you all right?"

Goddesses, she was beautiful! Her dark hair slipping from its bindings, wisps falling about her face and shoulders. A light sheen of perspiration caressed her skin, her breasts full and firm beneath the smooth danskin fabric and those eyes...

"Yes, I am fine."

She shrugged and continued. "All right, lets try 5 reps of that one then we'll reverse the posture and use your legs to maneuver and your arms to balance. Like this..."

Christine shifted her position and sat with her feet in front of her. She began rolling backwards on the ball. Her knees parted slightly as the ball moved to her shoulders, she held herself poised for a moment then again reversed her movement walking herself forward on the ball until she was once again sitting on top of it.

"Then 5 reps of that."

At some point Spock was certain his heart had ceased to beat, it could not, after all, pump when bloodless.

* * *

Pancakes are delightful, T'Raul thought absently as she joined Leonard McCoy for breakfast once again. Not for the first time, she wondered if the easy comradery she felt with him was unique. The time they had shared over the past few days had certainly been unique. T'Raul was not accustomed to the acceptance she had found here. She found herself smiling and even occasionally laughing aloud in his company as well as Christine Chapel's. Her relationships with each stirred quite different feelings though. Christine was a kindred soul, so much alike; Leonard McCoy was another story entirely. She was drawn to his differences, so alien, in ways known and unknown, yet to be explored. She watched his hands as they ate and thought of their delicate skill as he had preformed Spock's surgery days before and could not help but wonder what other talents they possessed. He had mentioned his daughter the night before. T'Raul's disappointment was nearly revealed until he continued saying that, although he and his former wife had not been well matched, they each took great pride in the child they had created.

She had inquired further, after all he had brought it up. They had been married only briefly before they had realized that it would not work. His career in Star Fleet required that he be off world and she wished him to take a planet side position. He sought adventure and she stability so they had parted shortly after Joanna's birth. He had sensed her surprise and for a moment was taken aback. Then he realized the cultural differences and reassured her that unlike Vulcan, Humans had no biological need for a life mate, only a desire to love and share their lives with another.

"How freeing that must be," she had replied. The rest of her thoughts she had kept to herself.

"You're awful quiet this morning," Leonard commented between bites of eggs.

"I was just considering something you had said last evening."

"Well, we must have covered about a thousand topics over the course of three hours so you're gonna have to be a little more specific then that." He smiled playfully. With the exception of the time she spent with Christine, they had spent nearly every waking hour together alone or in a group since she had arrived. He couldn't help but wonder if he was ever going to stop wearing that silly grin every time he looked at her; he was beginning to doubt it. Beauty and brains, an irresistible combination as far as he was concerned but there was also a sense of wonder and vulnerability about her that scared the photons out of him. A man could get lost in those qualities not to mention those eyes... He sipped his coffee and instantly regretted it as he choked at her next comment.

"You said that human males were not governed by a mating cycle but were -- how did you put it? Ah, yes, ready, willing and able at any time." Her smile betrayed her intentions as well as her amusement at his reaction. "Leonard, are you all right?" She rose to assist him but sat down again when he motioned for her to stay where she was. He continued to cough for a second and then collected himself.

"I'm okay, just went down the wrong pipe."

She looked at him coaxingly and he began to laugh.

"Another old expression, it means that I took in liquid through my wind pipe."

"I see." Her expression said she really didn't but wasn't about to question it.

"Now as to your question, yes, human males are capable and interested in mating throughout their adult life, unless there is a physical problem that is."

"Fascinating, and the impetus to a mating can be nothing more then physical attraction between a male and female?"

He took a very long, deep breath and said a silent prayer before he replied -- Lord, let me live through this and not have to stand up for at least five minutes.

"That is true but an emotional and intellectual interest or commitment makes it a much more enjoyable experience."

"Then you find sex an enjoyable activity?"

His face began to flush. Lord, make that ten minutes!

"Personally, yes."

"How very enlightening."

Jim Kirk walked up to the table and pulled out a chair. "Mind if I join you two?"

Neither spoke for a moment then McCoy broke the silence. "Have a seat." T'Raul decided to continue this discussion with Christine a bit later. She had much to consider.

Kirk picked up his coffee and smiled. "So what are you two talking about?"

* * *

Spock somehow had managed, thus far, to maintain composure as Christine moved her hands along his back while he walked the exercise ball along his torso. She checked his balance until she was confident he was not going to fall. Her demeanor remained quiet and professional as she instructed him to try the opposite roll for extension of the lateral muscles. He sat on the ball and began to lean back, her hands once again came in contact with him, with the intention of steadying him. She did not seem to realize the opposite was true. He concentrated on the task at hand desperately trying to ignore her closeness. She moved around to stand in front of him following as he reversed the roll and began to return to the sitting posture.

Neither of them was certain how but his foot caught her ankle and he slipped from the ball bringing her down with him. Christine landed on top of Spock knocking the breath from them both. Spock had raised his hands to catch her instinctively but instead he allowed her to fall into his waiting arms and encircled her waist. Christine lay motionless in his arms, her heart racing like a frightened bird. Spock reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face as he whispered her name.

"Christine."

.Sapphire met sienna and each were lost as a flood of desire swept them both away.

"Oh, Spock."

His lips gently brushed hers and then claimed them passionately. He was awash in the cool, salty mist that was her kiss, the power of it threatened to consume him. Her fingers entwined in his hair and brushed the tips of his ears. She ruled the kiss as her tongue sought out his very soul. From somewhere deep in his throat he half moaned, half growled as she drew him even deeper. Where had this been all of his life?

Christine knew only that she was falling. Her senses reeled as her mind lost all cohesion. A hunger she had never known threatened to consume her as she devoured Spock's mouth. She poured herself into him until she was uncertain if she was still breathing.

Gasping they parted. The insistent sound of the com unit on the wall drew them back to reality.

Reluctantly Christine rose on unsteady legs and managed to hit the key. She was still struggling to regain her breath. "Chapel here."

* * *

The Bridge w as humming with the usual Alpha Shift activity. Stations reporting in and downloading the prior shift's reports. James Kirk took it all in, cool, efficient, a well oiled machine. No, not a machine, a well choreographed dance, he thought. Each moving within their own space then merging to express the whole, to anyone willing to observe.

Nyota Uhura tried for the third time to raise Christine in the Gym and was beginning to wonder if something was wrong. Chapel answered breathlessly on the third attempt.

"Christine, they need you in Sick Bay."

Chapel's voice was ragged, "I'm on my way."

"Chris, are you alright?"

"I'm okay, I was just in the middle of a physical therapy session, that's all."

Uhura chuckled. "You work too hard, Sug."

"If you only knew."

Uhura would have continued but the subspace indicator flashed and she ended the call to Chapel. She nodded and moved her fingers skillfully across several keys before looking up.

"Admiral Kirk, you have a communiqué coming in from Admiral Nogura." Nyota Uhura turned from her communication station to face the center seat. "It's coded." Her eyes met Kirk's as he nodded and rose. Coded meant important and important usually meant new orders. So much for their quiet little shake down, she thought absently.

"I'll take it in my office, Commander."

He paused at the door and winked at Uhura, certain he knew her thoughts. A second later the door slid closed.

* * *

Christine had little time for the euphoria she felt. She entered Sick Bay to find Ann and several other nurses and orderlies doing triage on three crew members. Ann yelled over her shoulder to her as she entered.

"Plasma burns -- they had a feedback in tube 3."

Christine grabbed the scrubs that Kelly held out to her and began the decontamination process before entering the surgical area and calling to her team. "Get me the worst one in here and a grafting kit. Who's assisting?"

"I am" came Kelly's voice from behind her as she pulled the kit from the case and set out the instruments. Ann wheeled in the first gurney, repeating stats as she motioned to Kelly to lift with her. Christine began scanning and then peeling the burnt flesh from Crewman Taylor. The young man moaned and Christine nodded to Kelly who loaded a hypo spray.

"Give him 10 ccs Mortrophix then get me the regen packs, please." Christine's eyes never left her work as she continued to listen and call instructions to Ann and the rest of the team.

McCoy and T'Raul walked into the organized maelstrom. Neither waited for details but walked to the decam unit and donned scrubs also. Christine and Ann brought them up to speed as they dressed and each headed for a patient without another word.

* * *

Christine stepped into the sonic wave and ran her fingers through her hair. She allowed the recollection of the sensations Spock had evoked within her to wash over her as the waves gently melted the tension from her body. What had happened? All of the old feelings, she had thought, long since dismissed had surged back into her gut like a lightening strike. What was she thinking? He was a patient! You don't get involved with your patients. It was a mantra, they drilled into you in Med. School. Hadn't she left Enterprise and returned to Earth because of these feelings? Platonius and then the insanity of Janice Lester had been too much for her. Seeing Spock , or rather avoiding Spock on a daily basis had worn her down and she had finally put in for a transfer back to Earth. She had decided to finish Med. School and start a new life, a Spock-less life. The trip back home had been spent in her cabin crying but by the time she had arrived at Cambridge her tears had been spent. She walked the same paths that Byron, Milton and Charles Darwin had centuries before. She had met Roger at Cambridge but the memories had dimmed as she had settled in and begun her new life. Little by little it had worked, Spock no longer dwelled on the surface of her waking thoughts.

When she had turned down the fellowship to return to the Enterprise as her new CMO Christine had been confident and comfortable with the choice. Spock's ambivalence to her greeting when she had first seen him on the Bridge had hurt but it was not the heart wenching pain it once would have been. Now what was she supposed to do?

The door chime saved her from the decision. She threw her robe on and called out. "Come." T'Raul entered looking rather grim.

"We are to meet the Admiral in briefing room 6 in fifteen minutes."

"What's going on? You look like you just lost your best friend."

Christine slipped on her uniform as she spoke then sat in the chair opposite T'Raul. The Vulcan woman lifted her gaze and met Christine's eyes.

"Perhaps I will. I have received word from Vulcan as I am sure Admiral Kirk has as well."

"This is about Spock, isn't it?" Christine pulled her boots on and fastened her hair.

"Yes, but more than that I cannot say without the others. We should go now." They both rose and exited Christine's quarters together.

* * *

Kirk came out of his Office and scanned the Bridge then turned to Hikaru Sulu. "Adjust course to Vulcan, best speed. You have the conn, Mister Sulu."

He walked to the turbo lift and was gone. Pavel Chekov turned in his seat to face Sulu and then Uhura.

"Does dis have a familiar ring to it?"

A combined groan sounded from Uhura and Sulu.

"Not again!" they said in unison.

Chekov shook his head in dismay and turned back to his station muttering something about a "Space sickness shot."

* * *

Jim had chosen Briefing room 6 strategically. Its setup was less formal and lent to a relaxed atmosphere. Comfortable chairs surrounded a simple table with computer access. The lighting was less harsh and he had raised the ambient temperature by 10 degrees. He hoped he might get more out of T'Raul if she didn't feel threatened, "more flies with honey," his grandmother had always said. Perhaps the subterfuge was unnecessary but he wasn't taking any chances. Spock and McCoy entered first and sat to either side of him. Christine and T'Raul came through the door together a moment later. Jim sat back in his chair as he took in the reaction each of his friends had as the two women entered. Amazing, when had this happened he wondered. McCoy's face had slipped into an idiotic grin, like a child who had just been served a warm plate of cookies. T'Raul seemed to brighten as well, sliding into the seat next to him. Kirk turned from McCoy to Spock, whose gaze was locked on Chapel as was hers on him. Electricity seemed to be generating between them. He cleared his throat and leaned forward in his chair. All attention turned to him.

"I just received orders to return you to Vulcan, T'Raul, as well as you, Spock. The Vulcan High Council, I'm told T'Pau herself, has demanded it." Neither seemed surprised by the news. He continued. "Care to explain?"

T'Raul shifted in her seat with mild discomfort as she prepared herself. "The High Council is in debate as to what shall be done with the knowledge Spock acquired from his meld with V'ger. T'Sai of the Kolinahr wishes to claim it and have it placed within the Great Hall of Knowledge on Gol. T'Lar of Seleya has counter-petitioned the council, insisting that the request be denied, as has Sarek. T'Pau will decide once we arrive on Vulcan."

Christine leaned forward. "And just who is T'Sai, to require Spock to turn anything over to her or the Kolinahr?"

T'Raul turned to Christine. "T'Sai is the Master of the Kolinahrum. In seeking Kolinahr Spock pledged himself to logic and knowledge. To them, nothing is more sacred then the acquisition and preservation of knowledge. T'Sai was aware of V'ger's beckon to Spock while he was still on Gol. It is her conviction that he is bound to the Kolinahr to return to them with all that he has acquired." Spock sat silent, fingers steepled before him, showing no sign if interjecting a comment.

Jim's eyes left Spock and turned back to T'Raul.

"T'Lar, who is she and how does she play into this?"

"T'Lar is High Priestess of Mount Seleya. T'Seleya is an order devoted to the ancient ways of the mind. The Adepts of T'Seleya have studied and mastered the old ways, many dating back to centuries before Surak and the reforms."

Jim folded his hands on his lap trying to remain unthreatening. "And the High Council is considering demands from these two -- religious? -- groups because?"

"Your world's concepts and philosophies concerning Religion and Politics differ greatly from ours, Admiral. Vulcan society is made up of Clans, each of which hold ties to a Band or Religion, as it were. The High Council is in essence, a collective of the Clans, each with a separate agenda. The underlying philosophy that ties them together is the principle that 'The good of the many out weighs the good of the few.' What best serves Vulcan as a whole is the deciding factor, all else is secondary, including Spock's life and mine."

All three humans bolted upright in their seats but it was McCoy who found his voice first.

"Now just hold on there! What do you mean your lives? Are you telling us that this, whatever they want to do, could kill Spock? And you? How do you fit into this?"

T'Raul took a deep breath before continuing. "What is being proposed has never be done before, to our knowledge. There is no certainty how it will affect Spock or the precipitator. Death or insanity are possibilities As to my part in this..."

She paused again, collecting herself. "My ties to Spock's family caused Sarek to seek me out when you contacted him. I possess the unique background of being adept in both the Kolinahr and T'Seleya, a bridge between both as it were, as well as a healer. Realizing the chance that T'Sai might lay claim to Spock's mind, he believed that I would be the logical choice to assist Spock if the need arose. If T'Pau grants T'Lar's petition then I shall precipitate the transfer."

McCoy was becoming increasingly agitated.. Turning to Kirk he slammed his fist on top of the table causing T'Raul and Christine to flinch. "And why the hell is Star Fleet going along with this? Spock left Vulcan of his own free will, he was reactivated as a Star Fleet Officer, not some damned errand boy for the Kolinahrum!"

Kirk eased back in the chair, visibly unhappy. "We gave that argument up when we had Sarek contact Star Fleet Command so we could use the Neuro Stimulator instead of taking Spock to Star Base 14, Bones. Sarek argued that Spock's citizenship took precedence over Star Fleet regulations and Command gave in. We can't have it both ways."

Christine's voice cracked with emotion. "You mean we did this ?" Her eyes began to well as guilt claimed her. She pulled herself together quickly but not completely. Spock resisted his desire to take her hand in his to reassure her, instead he spoke for the first time.

"The choice was Sarek's, not yours, Christine. He was aware of the possible consequences and prepared accordingly."

The words were of no comfort to Christine.

* * *

Leonard McCoy had sequestered himself in his quarters, hunched over his desktop terminal since his shift had ended. He had watched Christine act out perfunctory tasks in Sick Bay until he couldn't stand it any longer. He had tried to console, reassure and finally admonished her for taking on the blame for their current situation. Nothing had worked and he had finally chased her out of Sick Bay to get some rest. Hopefully she had listened but he doubted it. Knowing Chris, she was probably doing the same as him, pouring over anything she could find on Vulcan law and lore. He had been at it for several hours to no avail. The buzzer rang and he leaned back in the chair rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes as he called "Come."

T'Raul entered hesitantly, she had changed into a soft flowing silk gown the color of sea foam, her hair was loose about her shoulders and Leonard nearly gasped. God, she is beautiful.

"Am I disturbing you?"

What a question... His pulse was beginning to race, his face began to flush with a influx of blood as were other organs.

"Yes, always." Had he really said that?

She turned to leave. It took him a moment to think clearly enough to realize she thought he was serious. He stepped towards her.

"T'Raul, I was joking. Come in, sit down."

He motioned to the small sofa in the corner of the living space and stepped towards the replicator in the wall ordering two glasses with ice. He then stepped to the counter and lifted an amber bottle pouring a small amount of liquid into each glass. He came and sat beside her offering one of the glasses.

"I feared you were angry with me." She accepted the glass and stared at the ice as it crackled amid the much warmer liquid. She brought the glass to her lips and took a small sip. "Alcohol?" She felt the warmth from the liquid slide down her throat and wash over her, the chill of the room fading with it. She sipped again. Leonard reached for the glass and directed her to place it on the table. "That's for sippin', darling. I wasn't lookin to get you drunk now."

His smile was warm too and so inviting. He gently took her hand in his and held it. She lifted her eyes to meet his as he spoke.

"I'm not angry with you. I'm angry about the situation, that you and Spock may be in danger but not with you, T'Raul" He leaned closer to her and brushed his lips to hers. A hint of bourbon clung to them and he gently pulled it with him as he moved back. Her expression was pleasant surprise. "You've never been kissed before, have you?"

"No, but it was most pleasing. Will you teach me?"

He grinned broadly as he moved closer and took her into his arms. "It would be my pleasure." He lowered his mouth to hers once again, lingering, taking a longer taste as she responded to him. He changed the pressure of his lips and gently slid his tongue across her lips encouraging her to open to him. As her lips parted he eased his tongue in exploring tentatively at first then seeking her out more passionately. He pulled back for a moment, allowing her to catch her breath, then sank back into her. Her hands traveled from his shoulders down his back, drawing a shudder from him as she intensified the kiss. She learned quickly. His own hands now traveling upward, through her hair, he pulled her even closer as his mouth now devoured hers.

Her mind reeled with the sensation, she wanted more and gently guided his hand from her hair to her breast. He complied willingly and slid his palm across her budding nipple. She moaned deep in her throat at his touch, he moved his mouth from her swollen lips and began trailing feathery kisses down her neck and shoulders then back again. He rested his lips against her ear and whispered. "T'Raul, I want to make love to you but if you want me to stop..."

"Don't stop, Leonard, please, don't stop." She lifted her mouth to his and drew him back into her, seeking, drowning in the wake of the emotions that were taking her over. He took her hands in his and rose, never breaking the kiss, guiding her to his bed and slipping clothing off each other at the same time.

She pulled him down to the bed next to her and began to trail her fingers through the tangle of hair on his chest. Her heart racing, she moved lower. He moaned deeply as her fingertips heft hot trails of desire along their path. He began to massage her breasts, alternately rolling each erect nipple between his fingers then taking one to his lips. He pulled her deeply into his mouth and swirled his tongue teasingly around the tender flesh then moved to the next. He drew another gasp from her as he traveled lower, trailing feathery kisses down her belly as his fingers began to tenderly explore her moist opening. He was driving her to the brink of madness. She slowly stroked his engorged member from its base to tip. She ran her thumb along its head, massaging the small drops of semen that had escaped along his ridge then back up again

His breath began to quicken as she slid her hand even lower to caress his balls then trail her fingers back up again eliciting a gasp from him as well. He wanted more of her, all of her. He wanted to know every secret her body held and all of the ways he could meet her desire. Moving lower he replaced his now slick finger with his mouth. Here she was swollen too, her clit a deep green like some small fruit waiting to be consumed. He lapped at her with an insatiable hunger, so sweet, he would never have enough. He felt her body tensing, climbing, soaring. He swirled his tongue around her clit in small circle then returning to insisting licks, driving her body further to its inevitable peak and still he wanted more.

She was alone in her mind, engulfed in a passion that he drew from her, no mind link to urge her forward. Her body alone, her passion, her desire... How could he bring from her that which she did not know she possessed? In her mind she pleaded with him to stop, he was killing her. Her body was about to implode -- oh sweet death, take me now!

"LEONARD!" She exploded with a fiery nectar, his for the feasting. He was a man starved and she, his long sought repast.

* * *

Jim Kirk shuffled through the requisitions and transfer requests that littered the desk top in his quarters. It was a necessary and quite mundane task and somehow tonight seemed like a good time for mundane. Several of the crew had requested transfer immediately after the encounter with V'ger, others a few days later. He knew at least some were in protest of his perceived takeover of Enterprise before they had left Space Dock. The loss of Will Decker had simply fueled the fire in those cases. He approved them all without any negative notation. Perhaps some could be replaced while they were on Vulcan. Jim had requested stop over on Vulcan to refit some systems that had given them trouble during their brief shake down.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to think of that one, Jim," Nogura had nearly laughed when asked. "Permission granted, just don't be too long with those refits. Nogura out." Jim chuckled at the recollection and moved on to the requisitions when a muffled cry came from the other side of the bulkhead.

"What the..." He strained to hear more closely when a female voice screamed out an all too familiar name. "Well, I'll be darned. Bones, you son of a gun. Still got it I guess," he muttered to himself and continued with his work, smiling.

* * *

Somewhere in his mind he registered that she had screamed his name and it drove him further. He did this to her, he brought this from her. He was consumed with the desire this realization brought. He watched her, eyes blind, her breath coming in short pants as her body continue to convulse in a myriad of orgasms, his own desire throbbing, twisting a tangled knot in his gut. He moved atop her and brushed feathery kisses along her collarbone and neck, before finally reclaiming her lips.

His breath left trails of hot ice against her skin, as he whispered tender words in Terran, her brain could no longer translate, it was fog, nothing but his tender passion existed for her. She met his kiss with a hunger that matched his as their tongues danced some ancient waltz. When he finally allowed her breath she nearly sobbed his name. "Leonard, join with me. Let us be one."

He lifted himself over her and gently guided himself into her, afraid to speak, sure there were no words to express his desire. As he slid into her welcoming heat, she raised her hand to his temple, like a fog rolling over dew wet hills she slipped into his mind. So gentle a presence, calm at first, reassuring him at his initial surprise. She drew him down into a tender kiss as their bodies and minds joined. He yielded to her sweet persuasion and opened his mind to her. She was there, within him, he could feel her desire welling once again, the feel of his thrusts within her, perceptions so alien, so incredibly erotic that his mind reeled from the duel sensations. His thrusts deepened, she met his need rising up then closing tightly around him as he pulled back.

He was euphoric, his body near convulsive as he thrust deeply within her. A need greater than mere survival brought them closer and closer...

She wrapped her legs around his hips and thrust incessantly. He pounded into her, he could have turned her inside out and she still would have wanted more.

So close, so close... "YESSSSS!"

They screamed in unison as they fell into the sun.

* * *

Jim slid into bed and willed his body to relax. He could feel the tensions of the day beginning to melt away as his breath became even and rhythmic, the first shadows of slumber taking him.

"YESSSSSS!"

He bolt upright at the sound. Shaking the image from his mind he swore under his breath then laughed as he rested his head once again on his pillow. "Damn, Bones, what kinda vitamins have you been taking?" He closed his eyes again, confident that sleep would come easily now.

* * *

Christine picked at the food platter balanced on the desk next to her viewer. She popped a slice of pear into her mouth and immediately wiped at a droplet of juice as it escaped down her chin. Her hair still damp from her water shower hung about her shoulders. She had hoped that the hot water would somehow wash the anxiety as well as the tension from her. It hadn't worked well on the anxiety but her body was more relaxed. A grape and then a sliver of cheese made their way off the plate as she leaned back in the chair. It was well into ship's night, she should be asleep but rest was elusive.

"Computer, play music selection Chapel 13."

The room filled with the sound of Irish flutes and harps; too loud..

"Reduce volume by 15 percent. That's better."

Christine leaned back and closed her eyes, allowing the music to embody her She was, for the moment, in Ireland again, standing on the bluff of the cliffs of Moher. The costal winds swept her hair as the sea spray filled her lungs and her mind filled with thoughts of Spock. Just as she had when she had first walked the cliffs, she was now thinking of him. He was the only one she had ever considered sharing this magical place with, even in the confines of her mind. Now, just as their lives seemed to be taking a turn towards each other, her actions may well have destroyed that chance. She allowed the tear to roll down her cheek unhampered.

* * *

Jim was back home in Iowa, in his bed, under a thick layer of sheets and a home sewn quilt. He lay there wide awake listening to the rhythmic thump-squeak that filled the otherwise silent Iowan night. He was 15, mom had gone to see Aunt Millie in Des Moines and Sam was home, on break from school. Home and not alone! Sam had called Kathy within the first hour of his arrival, filling her in on his temporary domestic situation. She had been quick in devising a plan that would keep her out nearly all night. True to her word, they had been at it nearly all night and Jim had lain awake serenaded by the thump-squeak and occasional moan nearly all night as well.

Admiral Kirk stirred from the dream as the thump sound from the other side of the bulk head increase and was punctuated by an eerie cry. "Damn it, McCoy, you're an animal!" He grabbed the pillow and buried his head under it, desperate to reclaim sleep.

* * *

The door chime sounded and Christine called out, knowing that Uhura would be off duty by now. "Come on in Ny, I could use a shoulder right about now."

She remained seated, her back to the door as she heard it swish open then closed. The sound of the privacy lock being activated and Spock's velvet baritone were simultaneous but each distinct.

"Perhaps my shoulder will provide an adequate substitute, since I have informed Commander Uhura you will be well cared for in her absence."

Christine nearly toppled out of the chair as she spun about and rose to face Spock, her face tear stained and flushed. She knew once she spoke, her voice would betray any attempt to contain her sobs but she had to do something, say something. Spock closed the distance between them in a stride and took her into his arms. She could stand no more and began to sob. He cradled her head to his shoulder as he navigated to the couch in the sitting area. Sitting now he was able to cradle her head on his shoulder as his hand caressed her back.

"Christine, the situation we find ourselves in is not of your doing. Were your motivations to seek recognition for your work or to save my life?"

Christine raised her head to face him, tears streaming from her eyes, a look of shock and hurt passing through her eyes.

"How could you even ask that? I don't give a damn about recognition! I did what I did to save you!"

Spock raised a hand to stroke the tears from her cheek. He allowed it to linger turning to a caress.

"I am aware of your motivations, Christine. It is not I that has been doubting them, but you. You must realize that even if the events surrounding my recovery were changed, T'Sai would still have demanded my return. If I were on Star Base still catatonic, the same would be true. Your self-recrimination is illogical.. Would you hold me to blame? If I had not melded with V'ger, after all, we would not be in this situation either."

"No, that's ridiculous!"

Christine began to collect herself. Somehow the tears had seemed to wash away the haze of self doubts and anger she had been wallowing in all day. It had been so easy to take on the blame, somehow allowing herself a way to validate her anger at the situation. She took several deep breaths, clearing her lungs of the last shuddering reinvents of her tears.

"Anger's much easier to handle when it's directed, you know."

Spock allowed his caresses to fall from her cheek to her neck as he pulled her closer.

"Perhaps you should consider re-directing it."

His lips claimed hers with a tenderness that was near painful. Christine yielded to his gentle caress as her own hands moved up his arms to entwine behind his neck. Reluctantly they parted, Spock gently drawing her head down to rest against his shoulder once again. Christine watched as an expression of utter contentment took Spock's features, his eyes closed, his breath a shivered sigh as though releasing those last remnants of doubt for his mind.

"What's happening Spock?"

"I am holding you close to me, Christine."

"Why?"

A faint smile crossed his lips.

"Because it is most pleasing. I suspect that is not the answer you were seeking though." He opened his eyes and found her bemused gaze.

"You've never been interested before. Why now?"

"You are operating upon a false impression. I have always been interested."

Christine let a small giggle escape. "Well you sure didn't let me in on it."

"You have always affected me, Christine, in a manner that I have found both arousing and terrifying. I confess, my behavior towards you had been less then encouraging but in fact your effect upon me has existed since Psi 2000. The incident on Platonius forced me to acknowledge fully my feelings for you. Knowing that I had placed you in such danger..."

He paused, seeing the questioning look in Christine's eyes.

"It was my mind that Parmen explored to find you, knowing the distress, the pain it would cause me to see harm come to you. To know that you suffered under my hand."

Christine reached to stroke his cheek as she had so many years before. "You would never hurt me."

Spock's expression relaxed as he continued, determined that the air between them be fully cleared. "At first, I sought to allow you time to sort out your own feelings on the matter, then your request for transfer was processed and I withheld my declaration, fearing it would cause you more distress. When you left, I found myself unsettled, distracted. Jim referred to it as lost. Perhaps I was since the path I had thought unfolding before me had suddenly changed. I thought you lost, I chose to returned to Vulcan and find focus in Kolinahr."

Christine remained silent for several seconds before finding her voice. "Spock, I ... I never knew. I thought after Platonius that you would rather not... Well, that you'd rather not be in the same room as me; then watching you go through that nightmare court martial, it broke my heart, I just couldn't stay."

Spock drew her close to him again and brought his lips to her hair, kissing it tenderly.

"When you were on the Bridge, I saw you and feared my heart would burst. What could I say? There were no words. I had spent 16 months on Gol, trained, meditated, purged myself of feelings -- and yet in the lapse of a second in time, it was gone."

Spock turned his face to Christine's as she looked up at him. There was one question he had not considered until this moment.

"Christine, if there is another?"

For the first time that day Christine laughed, loud and full of genuine humor

"Well, now you ask."

She brought her hand to his face caressing his cheek and then allowing her fingers to trace the tip of his ear.

He shuddered at the intensity of his emotions.

"There's no one else, Spock You have held my heart no matter what my sense of reason may have told me."

As if to seal the promise that they had just declared, she raised her lips to his and brushed them then returned for a longer taste. Spock responded in kind, first with gentle wonder then deepening to express the building hunger within him. Hands as well as mouths began to explore and roam.. Christine trembled as Spock's lips traveled down her throat brushing kisses of whispered fire.

"Christine, I cannot promise you anything past the here and now."

She brought her lips to a breath from his, her eyes no longer sapphire but a smokey grey, her voice a ragged whisper. "Yes, now. Only now..."

She took his mouth to hers and claimed all that he would offer, deeply drinking from their shared passion, her mind filled with the smoky blindness that her eyes reflected.

Spock shifted his position and scooped her into his arms as he rose. Christine's arms encircled his neck as she gasped. Spock absorbed her startled breath as he carried her to the bed and deposited her gently onto it, reluctantly breaking the kiss. He sat beside her, still, watching her as though he were committing her image to memory. Slowly she raised her hand to his face calling him back to her, he smiled easily as he lowered himself next to her. He began to search for the closure to her robe. Her hands slid under his shirt and began to pull it up as he released her robe, revealing nothing but her creamy flesh underneath. His mind reeled with arousal knowing nothing but this silken fabric had hidden her incredible form from him.

Christine slid his shirt up over his head and began to unbind his pants when he rose and allowed them to slide from his legs. She rolled to her side and wiggled the robe from under her, allowing it to pool on the floor between them, then reached out to gently massage his obvious arousal. Spock gasped at the feathery touch of her fingers through the cotton of his briefs. He quickly stripped the last barrier from his body and moved next to Christine on the bed, her hands still exploring the body she knew so well but had never dared touch, to taste, to linger upon each new discovery.

Spock's touch was light and hesitant as though he were handling fine porcelain, delicate and fragile. His confidence grew with his desire as his hands traveled down Christine's belly drawing a soft giggle from her.

"That tickles."

"Indeed," he replied as he raked his fingertips back up retracing their path and drawing lazy circles around her breast until he reach her now aroused nipple. "And dose this also tickle?"

He was rewarded with a throaty moan as he lowered his mouth to capture her erect bud, his hand moving to the other breast, stroking and teasing it to full arousal as well. His mouth alternated between each as Christine's hands ran the length of his back bringing a keen awareness of her increasing need as she brought her foot up to trail the back of his leg. His free hand moved lower teasing the inside of her thighs with soft strokes until he reached his desired destination. She opened to him allowing the scent of her desire to drift into his senses. He found her moist and warm, awaiting his attention as he slipped a finger inside and then another.

Christine gasped and bucked against his hand as he moved his fingers in and out. He rolled his thumb along her tender clit and returned his mouth to hers, capturing her cry of release. Christine shuddered with the final spasms as her body turned soft and pliant. Spock trailed her face with his lips as he rose above her and slid his hardness into her. They joined as though they had mated a thousand time before, warm and welcomed, a dance remembered. She whispered his name as she thrust to meet him and drew her legs around him bringing him even deeper into her. Spock raised a hand to her temple and gently brushed an errant strand of hair.

"Will you join with me, Christine, completely?"

Christine raised her hand to his face mirroring his gesture and brought her lips to his in response.

She opened her mind as she felt his beckoning to her; he was there, everywhere within her mind and she in his. Joy, wonder, acceptance, completion. Spock deepened the kiss, pouring all that he had into the union of body and mind, Christine responded hungrily moving her hips as he began to thrust within her with a new fervor. Dual sensations reeled between them, each knowing, feeling the other as they climbed higher into a frenzy of writhing flesh, Spock's thrusts welling with near madness as he felt Christine clenching around him, ripe for release. He ground deeply and cried out as flashes of blinding white took them both over the edge. Falling, clutching to each other as their bodies tumbled into oblivion.

* * *

Jim bolted from the bed and stumbled towards the door. Spock, he had heard Spock cry out -- he couldn't quite make out what he had called, it might have been in Vulcan -- but it was Spock's scream that had jarred him awake.

He made his way to the door and looked up and down the corridor. Two cabins down, the door slid open revealing an equally ragged Montgomery Scott.. They stood, wordless as the sound of a woman's unmistakable release, escaped into the hall. The sound of another door swishing open drew their attention. Uhura peeked out her door looking a bit less harried then either of the men but equally annoyed . They remained silent as their eyes darted between each other and Christine Chapel's cabin door as the sound effects continued. From the door between Kirk and Scott's quarters came a low male groan, then another. Their eyes all met and Scott shook his head in utter dismay as he spoke.

"It just isn't humanly possible."

Uhura smiled coyly as she donned her best Vulcan accent, "Ah, but it is de Vulcan way."

* * *

Christine awoke nestled against Spock's chest, his arms wrapped possessively around her. She savored the feeling, safe and warm, the universe could stop now and she doubted she would voice an objection. They had made love well into the morning with an intensity that rivaled madness with shattering releases that she was sure had registered on the Geo-Richter scale. Spock's chest bounced slightly as a chuckle rose from his otherwise still form. He turned his head to place a tender kiss in Christine's hair as he sighed deeply.

"Although Earth shattering might be a fair analogy to what we shared last night, I do no believe earthquake possesses the same panache."

She shifted her body from his embrace and pounced atop him as she laughed. "Oh, really. Either way the earth moved and I think it's about to once again."

She slithered her body against his as she captured his mouth with hers and laced her fingers through his, bringing them next to his head, entrapping him beneath her. Spock moaned from deep in his throat as he succumbed to Christine's provocative assault. Surrender was, after all, not necessarily a bad thing given the challenge presented. Christine's mental laughter filled his mind as she read his passing thought through the open link between them.. //Yes love, surrender to me.//

Spock's mind filled with the image of the Irish cliffs he had seen the night before within her mind. Amid the velvet grass, atop the jutting rock, they had lain together naked, the sea spray cooling them in the summer heat, as the coolness of her body wrapped around him quenching his flame of desire.

Her hair blew wildly in the breeze as the ocean waves crashed below them, the salty moistness of her kiss a reflection of the torrid waters she came from. She was a Selkie come to love him in her magical way, her seal skin safely hidden in the jagged rock awaiting her return to her watery home.

Christine's breath quickened as she continued to slide her growing wetness along his hardened member, friction building to near torture before she allowed him to enter her welcoming folds. She raised her head, breaking the kiss and arched her back letting her hair fall about her face. Spock's thrusts quickened as he rose to match the beat of the pounding surf, crashing, fire and water in a mad attempt to quench the flame that consumed them both. Christine released his hands, allowing him to fondle her jutting breasts as she entangled her own hands in her windswept hair. The crashing waves took them higher and higher until they soared above their mortal bodies and exploded into a crescendo of ecstasy.

Spock was still trembling as he became aware once again, Christine's shuddering breath was warm against his neck. They were entwined together a collage of shimmering flesh, flushed and sated, falling into a blissful sleep.

* * *

The pillow crashed atop the dressing table with enough force to topple the picture of Sam and Aurelan and bounce to the floor. Jim stormed to the shower and hit the cold water to full force. He cursed a string of expletives as he allowed the frigid spray to pummel him until he was sure his skin would chip off. Toweling dry he donned a fresh uniform and headed for the mess hall.

He entered to the sound of laughter coming from the corner, seated around a table were the rest of his senior officers with three obvious exceptions.

"Ah, we were wondering how long it would take ya, sir." Scotty laughed as he held up a steaming mug of coffee to Kirk.

"Scotty, I want you to get your hands on as much soundproofing materials as Vulcan supply has in stock. I think you can figure out what to do with it." Kirk accepted the mug and sat down amid the collective laughter his comment generated.

"Aye, sir, and a bonnie thing it will be. I'll have a team on it today."

The group raised their mugs in a mock toast and settled into quiet conversation.

* * *

The mess doors opened to allow the group of four entrance as the sound of laughter poured out into the hall. Spock nodded to his colleagues as he and McCoy selected a booth on the other side of the room and joined T'Raul and Christine at the buffet counter.

Pavel looked up as the foursome walked in and whispered. "Vell, if it tisn't Jack rabbit McCoy and de yodeling Volkin now!"

All eyes fixed on the couples as they moved to their table.

"Let's not forget the Hallelujah Choir accompanying them, Pav," Uhura chided as they burst into another fit of laughter.

T'Raul glanced toward the raucous humans and cocked her head turning to McCoy. "Why would your colleagues find it humorous to refer to you as a small earth mammal, and what is yodeling?"

Leonard shot a puzzled look first at T'Raul and then the command staff across the room. Spock cleared his throat as Christine joined McCoy's questioning expression.

"I believe we have received new titles, Doctor."

"What?" McCoy began to feel the knot in his belly tighten realizing the laughter had significance to their current conversation.

Spock deliberately averted his gaze and continued. "Jack Rabbit McCoy and the Yodeling Vulcan."

Christine nearly spit coffee across the table. Spock glanced at her and shook his head.

"Do not despair, you and T'Raul are now known as the Hallelujah Choir."

"The what!" Christine voice raised a full octave as she glared across the room.

Human and Vulcan faces took on a deep flush as McCoy leaned towards T'Raul whispering an explanation of the double entendre of the human phrases. Their collective faces began to resemble some grotesque Christmas display of red and green.

Refusing to be bested McCoy rose from the table and announced to the room at large. "Well I had better get hopping or I'll be late for duty."

Christine rose next followed by Spock and T'Raul. "Im coming, Leonard."

"We are all coming," Spock chimed in as the door slid open.

They were out in the hall before the guffaws began.

* * *

Spock lay motionless on the bio bed as McCoy and Christine scrutinized the results of his latest scans. He sat up smoothly, giving no hint of his earlier stiffness days before. McCoy turned to face him.

"Well, Spock, you're fit as a fiddle."

T'Raul once again dismayed by McCoy's choice of words cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow in unison.

"You really need to offer a guide to human colloquialism before boarding this vessel so one can interpret your conversations, Leonard."

"Now that would be a page turner! The McCoy Guide to Human Slang," Christine laughed.

"And obsolete phrases," Interjected Spock as he slid from the bed.

McCoy was about to respond when the Sick Bay doors slid open.

"We're in orbit. It'll be about four hours before we can beam down, it's still dark now and there are no shields around Mount Seleya so we have to wait until first light," Jim announced as he entered.

"You are certain we are to beam to Seleya?" Spock questioned hesitantly, his eyes betraying his hope.

Jim smiled coyly. "That's what the message said. There are packages in each of your quarters too, I guess you're supposed to know what to do with them."

T'Raul nodded and turned to Christine. "I must prepare. Will you assist me, Christine?"

"Of course. As long as the boss doesn't mind." She turned her gaze to McCoy.

"Go on, I'll hold the fort down."

T'Raul's brows rose upward but she refrained from any further comment.

Spock shifted his attention to Kirk as he inquired "Will you also assist me in preparation, Jim?"

Kirk smiled broadly. "I would be honored, my friend."

* * *

The scent of incense filled the cabin. T'Raul sat motionless, mentally reciting the oration she would be required to recite during the ceremony. The white robe adorned with simple gold embroidery lay atop her temporary bed. Christine's fingers moved through T'Raul's hair as she entwined the long gold cording through the braid she was masterfully winding. Once competed T'Raul instructed her on how to accomplish the twisted bun that would sit atop her head. The gold hair clasp fastened the headpiece that adorned the hairstyle.

"I suppose that the arrangement of your hair has significance," Christine quipped as she applied the final touches to the loose strands that fell from the side of the head dress.

"Of course," T'Raul replied easily. Christine's attempts at concealing her concerns were admirable but unsuccessful. T'Raul could sense her friend's anxiety through each finger stroke as she masterfully manipulated her hair.

"The braid symbolizes the joining of the three sisters."

"The three sisters?"

T'Raul's voice took on the fluid tone of a story teller, preparing her audience for a exceptional tale. "In the time of Surak, before his teachings were widely accepted there was a merchant called Kudont, living in what is now Shi'Kar. Kudant was father to three daughters, T'Gol, T'Seleya and T'Kar. Their upbringing had been progressive for the time and each had chosen a life path usually reserved for men. Kudant had sought to offer his daughters an opportunity to prosper without the need for a mate until they chose to find one. T'Kar, the eldest was a scientist, her research in the use of genetic manipulation of native plants had brought new plenty to the people's supplies of food. She was appalled by needless death and knew that hunger had claimed many lives, nearly as many as needless killing between warring tribes and the challenge of procuring a mate. T'Seleya was a healer, her talents were well known among the people. She had spent many years learning all that she could of the ancient ways of her people and their mystical past. She also held great regard for the arts and played several instruments. T'Gol was a teacher, her mind was keen and well controlled, even more than her sisters. She was drawn to Surak's teachings first. A desire to explore his theory of logic held great appeal to her ordered mind. T'Gol would return home each evening recounting to her sisters the profound revaluations she had discovered as she continued to listen to the great teacher, Surak. Soon her sisters followed the ever wearing path to Surak's camp each evening to listen and eventually question their teacher. This went on for many months and soon Surak realized that the three were most exceptional students and were in fact forming theory that greatly enhanced his image of Vulcan's future. Equally important, Surak had realized that one sister in particular had a profound effect upon him. T'Gol's keen and logical mind as well as her quiet manner had drawn Surak to seek her out more and more. As time passed he came to understand that it was only logical that they be bonded. Surak soon led his followers to a mountain terrain well in the desert, to establish a central place of teaching the new ways. To honor his bondmate, he chose the name Gol for their new home.

"At first all was harmony but as the years passed there developed differences in how the sisters viewed the future, T'Gol , believing that the greatest values to the people were knowledge and logic. T'Seleya believed that the most important concerns were the Vulcan heart and soul, through healing and philosophy. T'Kar believed that the law and science would most benefit the people. These differing paths led T'Kar and T'Seleya to venture out on their own, each seeking to build upon the teaching of Surak in their own ways. Surak was deeply saddened by these events but allowed them to depart with his blessing. Each sister had followers of their own who joined them as they parted from Surak, to build upon his teachings.

"T'Seleya and those that followed her took refuge high atop a mountain which cast its evening shadow upon the great Vulcan Forge. Here they found a meager but fulfilling life as they perused their artistic interests and studied the ancient ways. As the years passed many more came to Mount Seleya and heard the teachings of Surak and T'Seleya. Some remained and others left to share their experiences.

"T'Kar returned to the village of her birth and settled with her followers. As the word of Surak spread, many in the village joined T'Kar, among them was Tukon. Tukon was a quiet man of great size as well as patience, he had long admired T'Kar silently, awaiting her notice. His patience was rewarded and he and T'Kar were bonded. Tukon was a man of peace by nature and eagerly expounded to all that the way of Vulcan must be a peaceful one. His overbearing size was viewed by some as a threat but nothing could have been further from the truth. Tukon became a great scholar of the laws of the people and soon began to punctuate his statements of peaceableness with points of law. Yet many still did not accept the teachings of Surak and held fast to their barbaric ways. Tukon understood the need for protection from the warring outside and undertook the responsibility of protecting those who sought peaceful refuge within their village. Unlike Gol and Mount Seleya, the village stood on flat ground and was not easily defended so a plan was devised to surround themselves with a great Shi, wall. Although the labor was arduous, the Shi was competed and the people of the village took the name Shi'Kar for their home.

"T'Seleya was devoted to her teachings and was greatly admired by all but her spirit was most dynamic and logic and calm often eluded her.. She had remained unbonded long after each of her sisters had chosen a mate, holding fast to her willful ways.

"Many had tried to claim her but she rebuked them all, until the day Sendent came from Gol with a message. A son, Semaj, had been born to T'Gol and Surak, his brother. T'Seleya's joy for her sister and Surak was coupled with an overwhelming emotion she could not identify at first. Her body felt as though it were liquid as she gazed into Sendent's golden eyes. In that instant she knew she had found her heart and soul.

"Sendent had been captivated by T'Seleya's wanton beauty and sometimes volatile spirit. Like her, he found the disciplines of logic difficult to master and reveled in the freedom he found in her company. Each found they could maintain order outwardly as they found release within their private moments. Soon thereafter they were bonded and lost in the deliverance they found in each other.

"Each season Surak would travel to Seleya and Shi'Kar to speak to all who gathered and to observe the progress of their unique social development. As the years wore on his departure from Gol brought him an unusual stirring of emotions, a mixture of delight and dread. Gol was a place of peaceful meditation and a great repository of knowledge.

"T'Gol had undertaken the task of providing a place for families to keep the katra of their departed members, a great hall, carved into the mountain's side. This task along with her continued mastery of her emotions had become a driving force. Her logic was unimpeachable, even Surak could find no fault.

"In fact the opposite was true. T'Gol would comment that she found her husband's occasional displays of emotion most disturbing. She was attentive to his needs, it would be illogical to be otherwise. Yet Surak, in his most private moments, would lament over her coolness; no longer was he graced by his wife's smile or the sound of her singing absently as she worked.

"On Mount Seleya there was song, music and great works of art. The ways of the mind had been mastered by T'Seleya and some of her followers but many others had been denied the opportunity. There were numerous disputes among those who lived there, logic had been nearly abandoned in favor of free expression and the fostering of new ideas.. T'Seleya and Sendent sought to maintain order but their views did not always prevail. They feared that without the discipline of logic the knowledge they possessed could bring great harm.

"Shi'Kar on the other hand was well ordered, logical and peaceful but little had been accomplished in the sciences. T'Kar had provided a place for science to flourish but few truly new discoveries had been made. It was as though the drive for research had been lost. With the exception of his visits, the three rarely intermingled or exchanged ideas. As Surak was preparing for one such journey, Semaj fell desperately ill.

"Nothing T'Gol tried could ease his pain or aid his recovery. He was only five and lacked the ability to even enter a simple healing trance. As T'Gol tried to help him into a healing trance, her mind was battered with wild emotion and recoiled. T'Gol was overcome with shame and despair. Each attempt at mental contact resulted in the same reaction, even Surak could not reach him. Word was sent to T'Seleya and T'Kar to come to Gol to stand by their sister in her time of need.

"T'Seleya came first, and attempted to meld with Semaj. Long hours later she had successfully brought him into a healing trance. Her understanding of the hidden parts of the mind had allowed her access. T'Gol arrived soon after and began to question the events that proceeded the child's illness.

"As she and T'Gol spoke it was discovered that two other children had fallen ill as well. It was discovered that all three had ventured from Gol on a childhood quest of exploration three days before and had eaten wild gella berries.

"None had mentioned it for fear of being punished but a younger sister had exclaimed, upon her brother falling ill, 'I told them not to eat them!'

"Gella berries uncooked contained a toxin that acted as an hallucinative.

"Once armed with a cause T'Kar and T'Seleya were quickly able to provide a cure and all three recovered. In the twilight as the three sisters came together after evening meal they reflected upon how each had longed to accomplish their goals yet without the other to counter balance their accomplishments had been hollow. Only by combining their talents and knowledge could all of the people be served. The good of the many outweighed the good of the few. From that day forward the teachings of Gol, Seleya and Shi'Kar were combined to forge the Vulcan way. This is symbolized by the IDIC, the gold triangle for the mountain peak of Seleya, the silver circle for the Shi of Shi'Kar and the gemstone for the light of Gol where Surak rests and watches over us."

T'Raul accepted the glass of water Christine offered her and drank deeply.

Christine sat, a maelstrom of emotion welled within her. She had never considered the rich history the Vulcans truly possessed,. She had known only that Surak had led his people from wild emotion filled warriors to the logical, peaceful people they knew today. Her only comment as she digested all T'Raul had said was "Wow!"

* * *

Christine raised her hand to activate the buzzer when the door slid open automatically. She wondered absently when Spock had found the time to reprogram the unit to recognize her and allow access. The room was dimly lit with the red glow of a small fire pot in the far corner. Spock knelt in front of it, like an obelisk amid a summer storm as the flickering light danced upon him.

Christine turned to leave when her mind sensed a caress. //Stay.// The single word bore into her with a well of emotion. This was going to take some getting used to. She took a step towards the desk and glanced at the data pad atop it. Christine, please review the new crew roster and addend any necessary medical supplies.

Smiling, pad in hand, she tapped the replicator switch and quietly requested, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot, sweet." The machine complied. She retrieved the mug and walked into the sleeping area. The new crew members presented no anomalies or disorders that would make treatment difficult. For the most part they were human, three Vulcans and a Tellarite assigned to Engineering. "Oh , that should be fun!" Christine muttered as she made a note to recheck blood and plasma requirements for the Vulcans and Tellarite. Her eyes were heavy and she set the pad aside as she leaned back against the pillow propped behind her. Maybe a little nap. There was time. The thought had barely entered her mind as her body complied.

* * *

Spock sat on the edge of his bed quietly contemplating the woman beside him. Her strengths and tenacious nature, her devotion and gentle manner had captivated him years before, just as they did now. He took her hand in his and marveled at its petite proportion encompassed within his. Such a small and fragile thing yet its touch held the power to turn his very being into a seething caldron .As his gaze moved to her sleep-washed face, a primal longing filled him. More then simple need, a raw desire for completion of his soul, the revolution that he would never again experience an emotion that was not entwined with her. Is this love? His mind reeled as he allowed the feeling to engulf him. An image of the creature they had encountered years before on a planetoid in the Gamma Canaris region, the Companion, filled his memory. After taking human form and emotion, it had questioned Cochrane about his feeling How do you bear this? Was this what Christine had felt all of these years, unrequited? How had she borne this?

He startled at the sound of her voice and the caress of her hand. "I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light." Her eyes were filled with tender acceptance.

"I never knew, Christine. I never understood." His words were silenced as her lips claimed his tenderly.

* * *

Dawn rose over Mount Seleya as the group beamed down. Sarek and Amanda stood several meters away from the beam down point, next to two air cars parked on the desert sand. Sarek approached them as they materialized. Spock walked to him, meeting him half way and raised his hand in formal salute. "Live long and prosper, Father."

"Live long and prosper, my son," Sarek responded then lowered his hand and grasped each of Spock's hands in his, an intimate gesture reserved for family. For a brief moment Spock was taken aback by the action. It had been years since his father had greeted him in this manner. Even more shocking were the feelings Spock sensed through his father's touch. Pride and relief laced with concern for what was yet to come washed over him through Sarek's lowered shields. In an instant Spock responded in kind. Before he was even consciously aware his shields had lowered, he had projected great joy and wonder at his father's greeting.

It was over in a moment. As they parted hands, each realized what had passed between them was the first step in quieting years of doubts and regents. Sarek turned to greet the rest of the party, his proper Vulcan exterior once again firmly in place. "T'Pau has forbidden all off worlders from partaking or even witnessing the ceremony. I regret this turn of events but it is not within my power to defy her. Amanda will accompany you to our home so that you may wait in comfort."

Spock turned to his mother. An expression of pain and anger crossed his face as the realization struck. He moved to stand before her and took her hands in his as he spoke. "She cannot deny you, Mother."

"No, Spock, it is my choice to remain. I'll be fine and perhaps my absence will cause her some realization of her action."

Spock's brow lifted slightly. "Playing on guilt, Mother?"

Amanda allowed a smile to cross her lips. "Not guilt, my son. She is a mother as am I, some part of her will understand.. I'll be with you here." As she spoke she raised her son's hand clasped in hers to her heart. "I almost forgot." Lowering his hand, she then reached into her cloak pocket and retrieved an IDIC pendant. She rose up on her toes and placed it around Spock's neck. "I couldn't find yours in time but your father had Skon's and we thought you might like to have it instead."

Spock cradled the shining medallion in his hand looking from his mother to his father before lowering his eyes to his hand. "I would be honored. Thank you."

Leonard muttered in disgust. "Holdin' a grudge after all these years. It's all my damn fault anyway. She can't hold the rest of you responsible, especially you, Amanda."

"No matter T'Pau's reasons, Doctor McCoy, we are required to comply. There is no logical purpose in placing blame or guilt. Neither will change what is." Sarek's tone was quiet and controlled leaving no room for further discussion.

Spock turned his gaze to Christine, all that was needed passed between them wordlessly as amber claimed azure. Christine moved to stand beside Amanda. As the three Vulcans began the long climb up the steps of Mount Seleya, her eyes never leaving Spock. Amanda inclined her head towards Christine, a knowing smile crossing her lips as she spoke.

"Spock looks well. In fact I don't think I have ever seen him more at ease."

Christine hadn't really registered what Amanda had said as she continued to stare as the three figures disappeared into the morning mist. "Yes, if you think that would be best."

Amanda couldn't restrain the laughter that escaped. " Oh, I think that would certainly be best, dear."

* * *

Two thousand years... The path they traveled had been the same for two thousand years. Each step they took was a mirror of ones transverse by T'Seleya, Sendent and Surak himself in centuries past. Had Surak and Semaj made this journey together? Had father and son walked these sands in contented companionship or guilt and uncertainty? Sarek's stride matched his son's and T'Raul's as he continued his internal dialogue. Had he and Spock not made this same journey 29.85 years before. Then, as now, Sarek had experienced a maelstrom of conflicting emotions concerning his relationship with Spock. As a very small child Sarek recalled his own father's keen ability to sense his son's "feelings" and communicate his understanding and guidance without judgement or recrimination. With such a role-model, why then did Sarek find it so difficult to do the same with Spock? His answer lay at the surface of his mind, the same answer that had plagued their relationship from the start but had escalated in importance 28 years ago; because he is half human and he must maintain a greater

control of his emotions For 28 years he had held that single thought as a mantra in his parenting of Spock. If a fully Vulcan son could so completely disregard all that his father held sacred -- what would become of his only remaining son were he allowed to explore his emotions both Vulcan and Human? NO! He would not permit Spock to fall to such disgrace. He had failed Sybok, he would not

fail Spock.

Sarek allowed the memories of his and Spock's last journey up the steps of Seleya to enter his mind clearly. A time before disgrace and fear were allowed to cloud his mind. Spock was 11.33 years old and was to enter the temple for six months to be educated in the ways of philosophy and healing. The time for a life path choice would soon be upon Spock and he would have an opportunity to acquaint himself with each of the three paths open to him. His education up until this point had been inclusive of all but had been rudimentary. Now he would immerse himself in each of the three disciplines for 6 months. First he would reside among the adepts of Seleya and then Gol, finally returning to Shi'Kar to study under T'Pau herself. He would then be allowed a brief time to decide which path he would follow. Sarek observed Spock's determination to conceal all outward indications of the distress he felt but the signs were blatant to one who knew him . His chin jutted out, eyes focused strength ahead, shoulders stiff and his stride measured to a meter's length. Sarek recalled almost wistfully that as a very small child Spock might have sought out his hand for comfort but the opportunity for such physical reassurances had long since passed; or had it? Impulsively Sarek had reached out and laid his hand upon Spock's shoulder, as he imagined Skon might have done under similar circumstances. He was rewarded with a near instant relaxation of his son's body. Without a word exchanged each had continued the journey in relaxed acceptance. He wondered if his son's reaction would differ now. Spock would certainly understand the gesture but would he accept it?

* * *

Amanda set the air car to rest inside the front garden of her and Sarek's home. There had been very little conversation during the drive back to Shi'Kar but that silence was quelled as they stepped onto the front path. The door opened to reveal a well muscled human man with a mop of deep red hair flecked with grey and a voice that could have matched any drill instructor Jim Kirk had ever encountered at the Academy. His entrance was ushered by the unmistakable aroma of bacon and maple syrup.

"Well, it's about time you got back. A man could keel over from hunger waiting for all of you to have breakfast!"

While Jim's reaction to this stranger was dismay, his companions shared one of pleasant recognition, especially Christine who was engulfed in a bear hug before Jim could utter a word of inquiry. The stranger's voice boomed again.

"Peaches, Lord, I'm glad to see you!"

Christine's voice was little more then a squeak as her lungs were constructed in a python's embrace.

"Daniel! Put me down!"

"Ah Chrisy, I supposes you think you're getting too big for hugs from your old uncle now. Is that the case, girl?" His Irish brogue began to sneak through as he deposited Christine back on solid ground. Her smile broadened as she leaned forward and kissed each of his freckled cheeks. Her own voice taking on the same Gallic lilt.

"No, my darlin' Uncle Dan. I just had a need to be catchin my breath is all."

Before Christine could finish Leonard had stepped forward and joined them and slapped Daniel square on the back.

"Daniel Sanders, you ol hound dog, last I heard y'all were holdin' up on Inistar negotiating the Fabrini research project."

Finally, Jim had enough information to realize that he was standing less then six feet for the best known Archeological Medical Researcher in the quadrant if not the entire Federation. Daniel Sanders had headed the research on Cardaruis 12 that had brought back to the Federation cures for more then thirty known diseases effecting eight species. The man was a genius in his own right but his renown was truly in his ability to pull together a research team that surpassed the sum of anyone's expectations. Legend had it that Sanders could get blood from a stone and the stone would willingly impale itself on jagged diamonds in order to give it to him. Now Sanders was going to crack the secrets he, Spock and McCoy had discovered on Yodana years before...

McCoy's voice pulled Jim from his thoughts.

"Jim, I'd like you to meet Daniel Sanders. Dan, Admiral James Kirk."

Kirk extended his hand to meet Sanders. The man's grip was as commanding as everything else about him Jim noted. "An honor, Doctor Sanders."

"The honor, sir, is mine. I've been briefed on Enterprise's latest mission concerning the V'ger probe. An outstanding job, Admiral."

Amanda's quiet demeanor took on the tone of a mother ushering her tardy children in for supper as she stepped into the mix. "All right, there's time enough for mutual admiration, gentlemen. Why don't we go inside and see what disaster you've wrecked on my poor kitchen, Daniel?"

Everyone parted as Amanda led them in.

* * *

Spock remained focused on the task before him. The methodical climb was calming for many but he had always found it to be quite stressful. As he measured his strides he found his memories wandering to an earlier time, also a time of change and choice. A time, as now, that his father had journeyed this path by his side. So much had passed since then -- a brother found then lost, a life path that had caused his father great disappointment and had placed a wedge between them that had seemed unmoveable... Spock's thoughts were forced back to the present as a surprising but welcoming familiar sensation of his father's hand pressed against his shoulder.

* * *

Amanda silently assessed the condition of her usually tidy kitchen. Considering the amount of activity that was taking place in it at the moment it was remarkably unscathed. Daniel had prepared a morning buffet for a small army or in this case five hungry humans. Leonard McCoy was still marveling at the uncanny similarity of samlic root to Earth's bacon as he heaped another spoonful of scrambled eggs and several of the root slivers onto his plate. The conversation had been upbeat with each of them placing great effort into not checking the time every few minuets. It was Christine who rose first to clear the table, a task Amanda was about to dismiss her from but thought better of it. Something to do, a simple thing that they could share. As they stacked the assorted flatware and dishes into the reclaimer Christine learned that it had been Sarek who had contacted Daniel and apprized him of the situation. He had then assisted in arranging a diverted Vulcan transport to rendevous with Daniel's Earth bound ship so that he could be here for Christine. Amanda and Sarek had discovered years before while onboard the Enterprise that Christine was the niece their old friend Daniel had spoken of so often. Christine had spent uncounted hours in their company both professionally and privately during Sarek's recovery. Even then Amanda had seen the flicker of flame in Spock's eye when Christine was near and Christine's affection, although well schooled under her professional mask ,was obvious as well. They finished in the kitchen and returned to find the three men discussing Daniel's plans for the Fabrini research project.

"Galtra, from Andor and Tuskav of Vulcan will remain on Inistar and continue disseminating the political and social information detailed in the Fabrini records. My team will be based here at the Vulcan Science Academy." Daniel turned his head acknowledging Christine and Amanda's entrance. Each sat and joined the conversation that was their only distraction from the slowness of time.

* * *

Striations of amber and cobalt blue variegated the walls of the temple hall. Effigies of ancient Gods and Goddesses lined the perimeter of the nearest wall. Normally, the adjacent walls, lined with meditation stones and glowing fire pots, would have been occupied by students, adepts and an occasional traveler seeking to pay homage to an ancestral God. Today, however all was dark save a single fire pot at the far end of the hall; two meditation stones and a Katra Orb sat nearby. Silhouetted by the fire's eery glow stood two robed figures, a silent vigil to the coming events. The haunting echo of the gong foretold of the approach of The Three. Each made their way to the center of the room, controlled indifference was all their outward features would display. They stopped in unison as they awaited the others, hidden beneath their exterior masks, conviction and resolve welled from their very souls.

T'Raul entered first, a step ahead of Spock and Sarek, her greeting reverberating against the cavernosus hall.

"I come at thy behest, Masters. Thy wisdom and experience far exceeds mine own. Here I stand before thee, an instrument of thy judgment."

The ending of her approach and oration were indistinguishable.

T'Lar stepped forward and lay a hand against T'Raul's face, as much a caress as an entrance to her mind.

"Daughter, I will know thy thoughts."

T'Raul opened her mind to T'Lar, the meld was superficial and short, confirming her readiness to complete the task set before her.

The meld was broken and each moved to take their place at the meditation stones. Sarek stepped aside to allow Spock to approach T'Pau and T'Sai alone. Sarek's presence would be permitted no further until all was over. He assumed a slightly relaxed stance and forced his mind to remain calm, willing all the strength he possessed to somehow channel to his son.

Spock began his steady walk forward, repeating T'Raul's earlier greeting, as he made his way to the remaining masters. T'Sai's approach preceded Spock's planned target and he halted abruptly forcing the final word from his throat. "Judgment!"

The change in active caused it to linger in the air as T'Sai raised her hand towards Spock's face, before her commend could be uttered Spock retraced a step and raised his right hand to stay her approach.

"No, T'Sai. I come to thee as I left Gol. Thy words were truth. My answers do not lie within the Kolinahr." As he spoke he allowed the pendent he had been clutching in his left hand to clatter to the ground just as it had on Gol weeks before. Before T'Sai could utter a protest Spock turned and stepped forward to stand before T'Pau. " I submit to thy wisdom, my life is thine to command."

Her furrowed hand raised to his psi points as her head offered the barest of nods in acknowledgment of his statement. Spock felt the faint brushing of her mind to his, a fluid calm washed over him as a single thought reached his consciousness. //Trust me.//

The contact was over in a second, each returning to the outside world in a heartbeat's time. Spock turned and took his place opposite T'Raul. T'Raul placed her left hand to Spock's psi points, her right hand, in a mirrored position, on the katra orb and began.

* * *

T'Raul's eyes fluttered open, it was done. She began the slow, steady process of collecting herself. The meld had been a grueling ordeal for both her and Spock. SPOCK! T'Raul's attention bolted to Spock's still form across from her. His eyes remained closed, his breathing shallow. Before she could reach for him T'Pau's hand crossed hers and lay across his temple. Her voice a cracked whisper as she lowered herself to the floor beside Spock.

"Child of my blood, you have honored yourself and your clan. The time to rejoin us is here, Spock."

T'Raul stay frozen, her heart racing more rapidly then her thoughts as she watched T'Pau's breathing become as shallow as Spock's. Ready to intercede she shifted her weight to reach them both when she saw their rhythmic breaths become one and begin to quicken. T'Pau's hand fell from Spock's face as his eyes snapped open. The elder woman rose without aid and awaited the others to follow. T'Sai and T'Lar stood fast as T'Pau stood before the now glowing orb. She rested her hands on the sphere and met their eyes.

"It is done. His mind is his own, no other dwells within. All that was V'ger is now held within."

As T'Sai stepped forward T'Pau lifted the orb from its resting point and extended her arms out. T'Sai was inches away, prepared to accept the object of her desire when T'Pau's hands slipped from the side of the orb and it shattered against the stone floor.

The wail that engulfed them all as the essence of the orb erupted into the hall muffled T'Sai's scream. The echo of the orb's demise subsided as T'Pau turned and departed wordlessly. T'Lar followed in her mentor's wake as did the hooded watchers. Sarek moved to stand between T'Raul and Spock as the pair stood dumbstruck. His eyes moved to T'Sai's filled with haunted anguish. Her lips quivered as she attempted to speak.

"Why?"

Sarek studied her, considering a reply but none was forthcoming. He could have offered an opinion but it would not have been a logical one. Nothing he had witnessed thus far had a truly logical explanation. He simply shook his head and placed a hand on T'Raul's and Spock's elbows to usher them away.

* * *

The evening had passed into night as Sarek and T'Raul retold the days events in vivid detail. Spock had remained conspicuously quiet throughout the conversation. Christine sat beside him dividing her attention between the conversation and concern for him. Only when his father began to describe T'Sai's question and his inability to answer did Spock interrupt.

"It was Pandora's box."

Christine turned to stare at him in astonishment. "What?"

"T'Pau understood that once opened, the knowledge of V'ger held the potential to be as Pandora's box. She determined that the only logical solution was to remove the temptation by destroying the source. If the knowledge remained within my mind, there would always be the chance that it could be extracted, therefor it was necessary to remove it so that it could be destroyed."

Amanda's eyes flashed with unquelled anger. "She planned this all along and never told us. She let us suffer and agonize for all this time." Sarek gently placed his hand upon her trembling one staying her fury.

"Amanda, please, allow Spock to finish."

Sarek's controlled tone steadied his wife's control as well as his guests. He had seen Amanda's outrage mirrored in the other's eyes as well. Spock alone seemed undisturbed as he continued. "In preforming the transfer successfully T'Raul insured my life but T'Pau could not risk that T'Sai would retrieve the orb before she; T'Sai's earlier brusqueness had demonstrated she might not comply with accepted deportment."

McCoy could stand no more. "What in blue blazes are you tryin to say, Spock? T'Pau didn't trust T'Sai?"

Spock's brows arched as he inclined his head slightly towards McCoy. "Precisely, Doctor."

"Well, why didn't ya just say that?"

Spock's reply was cut off by the combined chiding of Sarek and T'Raul. "He did."

Exasperation overtook McCoy as his human companions fell into a fit of laughter. He turned from one to the other evoking a new bout of giggles from each as he scanned the room. Finally his own tension began to filter out as he felt the first rumble of the contagious mirth pull at his diaphragm.

T'Raul marveled at the outburst as well as Sarek's and Spock's calm acceptance of it. No, not acceptance but relief, that is what she saw in their eyes; Why? She opened herself to the emotions surrounding her, emanation from them all. Joy mixed with the remnants of fear and anxiety. A release of pent-up emotion, fascinating. The laughter subsided momentarily and Spock continued.

"I shall attempt to punctuate the remainder of my discourse with ample colloquialisms to insure your continued cognizance, Leonard."

McCoy's smile amplified his mock appreciation. "Why, thank you, Spock. I'm sure the universal translator will appreciate the rest of the night off."

McCoy was rewarded with the equivalent of a smile as Spock's brows remained half hidden beneath his bangs. "Indeed, Doctor. As I was saying, T'Pau needed to insure that she alone would be the first to have contact with the orb. To insure this she implanted a command within my mind to remain as I was when T'Raul broke contact. I was to reduce my reparations and blood pressure as well to insure a need for intervention, which she would provide."

T'Raul shifted uncomfortably next to Leonard. "Deception."

Spock nodded in acknowledgment. Jim leaned forward in his chair as he interjected. "So that's why she didn't want any of us there. She couldn't risk the unknown factor we presented."

Spock nodded again as he continued. "Precisely, knowing all too well your and Doctor McCoy's propensity for intervention T'Pau could not risk the chance that any of you would interfere."

"Logical," was Sarek's only comment.

"Quite," Spock concurred. "I believe she would have barred you as well, Father, if a logical reason had presented itself."

For an instant Sarek's eyes betrayed his shock then control again took its place. "Indeed, fortunately the issue did not arise."

Amanda's eyes lit with combined mirth and affection as she turned from her husband to McCoy. "Translation, 'Over my dead body!'"

Sarek refrained from reprimanding or correcting his wife's interpretation as the room once again filled with the sound of Human and Vulcan laughter.

* * *

T'Pau rose from her evening meditation and prepared for sleep. The day's events had worn heavily on her mind and body. As she slowly lay to rest her mind drifted to the foolish hope that he would once again touch her mind as she slept. To journey once again to the realm of existence that had been beyond her comprehension until that first whisper of it's consciousness had touched her dreamless sleep days ago. Foolishness, she chided herself, to hope for that which is without logic or reason. A selfish desire, nothing more. Yet hope she did as slumber overtook her.

* * *

Spock shifted his weight slightly as he gently slid his arm from under Christine's sleeping form. Even though she had been on the verge of complete exhaustion, she had insisted upon making love. An affirmation of life, she had said. Indeed, he had never nor did he believe he would ever feel as alive as when he was coalesced with her body and mind. He silently moved from the sleeping area to the newly placed meditation stone and fire pot in the far corner of the room. The brief stay on Vulcan had allowed him to retrieve many of his belongings. His harp stood upon its perch next to his desk as did a rolled parchment his mother had given to him before his return to Enterprise. He removed the leather tie and unrolled the ancient scroll. A poem by Rainer Maria Rilke, the same human author of the book Christine had read aloud to him during his convalescence.

His features softened as he read, a tear beginning to form as he laid the brittle paper on the desk and silently returned to bed. Christine nestled against him as he reached for her in the dark, never again to be alone.

* * *

"I can feel the longing she will not express. Why deny that which is clearly needed?"

"She is Vulcan, it would be unacceptable to openly acknowledge her emotions or needs."

"Only in her dreams?"

"Yes, then it is acceptable."

"What of the others? Will they hear us?"

"No, Spock is freed and the others will not understand or know how to hear us."

"Shall we take her with us one last time before we go?"

That which had once been Will Decker entwined with that which had once been Ilia and the essence of V'ger. Each considered the question and answered in unity.

"Yes."

The End

Love Song

Rainer Maria Rilke

How shall I hold my soul that it may not be touching yours?

How shall I lift it then above you to where other things are waiting?

Ah, gladly would I lodge it, all forgot, with some lost thing the dark is isolating

On some remote and silent spot, that when your depths vibrate, Is not itself vibrating?

You and me ~ all that lights upon us, though brings us together

Like a fiddle bow drawing one voice from two strings it glides along.

Across what instruments have we been spanned?

And what violinist holds us in his hand?

O' sweetest song…