DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of DebbieB and is copyright (c) 2000 by DebbieB.

 

Quickie

by DebbieB

 

"Come on. Just do it and get it over with."

"I'm not. You can't make me."

"You are the one who started this. You bet me first, and I did it. Now it's your turn. And you know you'll hate yourself in the morning if you chicken out. On the other hand, I am the one who will have to listen to you whine for the rest of this cruise if you chicken out. So basically, it's about me. And me not wanting to hear you whine for three years."

"Eloquent argument. Not working."

"Do it."

"No."

"Cluckcluckcluckpwwwaaaaaarrrkkkkk!"

"Stop that."

"Pwwwaarrrkkbahk bawk bawk bawk."

"I am not chicken."

"Honey, I'm craving teriyaki sauce just looking at you."

"You're gonna regret this the next time you're in Sickbay. That is a guarantee."

"cluckcluck."

"Stop that. People are starting to stare."

"Almost midnight. Almost tomorrow. Almost too late to get in on the technicality."

"Technicality?"

"You know that when the season is over, it doesn't work anymore. You have no excuse. You'll have to wait another 365 days for the cycle to turn."

"You are a complete psychopath, do you know that?"

"All I know is, if my dreamboat were in that situation, I certainly wouldn't be wasting the last precious available moments. But then, that's probably why I have a more active social life than you -- he's moving. You're gonna miss it. GO! Go now, don't think, don't plan, just GO!"

"I hate you."

"Go."

"I'm going."

* * *

"Nurse."

"Mr. Spock."

"I trust you are enjoying the festivities."

"Oh, yes. Thank you for asking."

"Was there something you wished to discuss with me?"

"Actually, yes. You see, Uhura and I were having a discussion of ... er ... traditions, cultural mores, and certain reactions experienced by members of different cultures to the behaviors of ... um ... the first cultures, or other cultures."

"Excuse me?"

"We were discussing IDIC, sir."

"Ah. A commendable topic of conversation."

"For example, if a Vulcan were introduced to a certain cultural behavior -- completely harmless, but time-honored and revered by another culture ... Well, see, if the Vulcan were asked to participate in that tradition or behavior, would the Vulcan respect that request or deny it?"

"I believe that if the custom did not intrinsically violate the precepts of Vulcan philosophy, most Vulcans would choose to honor the request out of respect."

"I see. Even if that custom was ... oh, I don't know, maybe something a Vulcan wouldn't normally do?"

"It depends. Generally, if the custom is harmless, and the request is one of honest respect, then I believe the Vulcan should choose to honor the request."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that."

"Indeed. Why?"

"Because you're about to get whacked with two time-honored human customs simultaneously. And my request is one of honest respect, sir. Truly."

"Why does this cause a certain degree of concern?"

"You see that woman over there by the punch bowl?"

"If you are referring to Lt. Uhura, yes."

"Well, she noticed a certain custom being followed, and invoked a second custom ... on me."

"Nurse Chapel, you are making no sense. Which custom did Lt. Uhura invoke upon you?"

"She dared me."

"She dared you?"

"Actually, it was a triple-dog dare. She committed a slight breach of etiquette by side-stepping the triple and going straight for the triple-dog dare, but then again she's had a lot of punch."

"Miss Chapel?"

"Anyway, she dared me. And because I too have had much more to drink than is considered sensible, I accepted."

"And what exactly does this have to do with me?"

"Well, that's where the first custom comes in. See that little branch up there? Yeah, that one?"

"Yes."

"It's mistletoe. And we're standing under it. And in the time- honored tradition of my people, we are supposed to kiss each other."

"I see."

"I'm so sorry. This was a stupid idea. You must be furious with me."

"Miss Chapel, was this your idea?"

"Uh ... no. Come to think of it, it was Nyota's idea."

"Then it would be illogical for me to become angry with you over Lt. Uhura's idea."

"Rational. I'm sorry, still."

"Apology accepted. What is the price of losing this ... dare?"

"Well, that's the hard part. If I don't do it, I've agreed to let her have my alpha shift leave next week when we pull into Starbase 7."

"And if you do follow through with the dare?"

"I get my alpha shift, and her two tickets to see Liam O'Hare perform."

"The tenor?"

"Yeah. He was my mom's favorite. I took the dare out of stupid sentimentality."

"Miss Chapel, may I propose a compromise?"

"Sure."

"I will assist you with your bet on one condition."

"Ohmigosh, Spock, you are incredible. You are unbelievable. You are a GAWD!"

"You have not heard my conditions."

"Sir, if you ask me to retype the entire crew manifest using a Selectric, I'll do it."

"That would be illogical. My terms are simple. I wish to use the second ticket."

"That's it? You want to attend the concert with me?"

"Yes. I attended one of Sir O'Hare's concerts on Earth many years ago, and have been hoping to see him again. The concert was sold out before I could purchase tickets. Do you accept my terms?"

"Accept them? Spock, I could kiss you!"

"That is my part of the bargain. However, we may want to wait until Lt. Uhura is watching. Just to be certain."



THE END