DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Catherine Kay and is copyright (c) 2001 by Catherine Kay.
A Secret Life
I have a secret garden. A secret life that awaits me after I am done with the mundane necessities of reality.
Is this healthy? Probably not, as with all things that feel good initially and fill a void.
In my secret life I am loved unconditionally and always. I am never alone, never on the side lines, never dismissed or my counsel ignored.
In my secret life I am important. I am center stage, clever, witty, energetic and passionate and it is not a liability to be so.
In my secret life I am always fulfilled. I am always made love to with perfection when I am ready in any scenario I want with the person I always wanted.
In my secret life when I cry I am comforted. I am never alone, empty, crying inconsolable for something or someone I can't have.
In my secret life I am always young. I never age as I see my image in the mirror age during the dull real rituals of getting dressed or brushing my teeth.
In my secret life I don't make mistakes. My lifetime mistakes of hanging on to things and others too long, avoiding others and opportunities to grow, not admitting that time is marching and seizing the chance to march with it has never happened and will never happen.
In my secret life nothing changes. In my real life nothing changes.
As with all addictions, I feel cheated by my secret life.