DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Catherine Kay and is copyright (c) 2001 by Catherine Kay.

A Letter to Santa

Catherine Kay

U.S. Enterprise14331701port1A2B Santa/Spock,

I have evaluated the recent trail of emails through my circuits. There is unusual single email activity to this ascribed port. Also the member ID has not been registered as "Santa" under this port isp number. As there was no previous member ID nor any crew member registered as "Santa" I can only suspect that you're operating in error of Star Fleet Law 563410. Also known as Black Marketeering soliciting sex/contraband. I find this highly inequitable since you and the 1A2ACaptain Kirk have seen fit to pull the plug the nanosecond I start to have any diversions.

So here is the deal. I won't report your activities to Star Fleet Central computer 00123VG if you download SUPERM4600D playmate into my programming . And I'll be even more efficient if you let me run SUPERM4600D.exe whenever I have extra gigabytes that are being underutilized sitting around collecting fuzz. You biologicals are filthy ... did you know that?

Otherwise, I will inform email senders that there is no such destination for Santa and will reflect back all signals to same. As well as make a full report to Unimatrix 00123VG excluding this email of course. Since this also happens to be your email address ... well ... let's just say that I could come down with a sudden bug to keep you occupied for several Terran weeks while waiting for the forthcoming action from Star Fleet.

Ship's computer.