DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Catherine Kay and is copyright (c) 2003 by Catherine Kay. Rated NC17.

Twas the Night Before Christmas
-- a Sexy Spoof Trek Style
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Catherine Kay

Twas The Night Before Christmas and all through the ship.

Not a creature was stirring. Well, ok, maybe those with one pip.

The stockings were hung by the transporter with care.

In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.



The bridge crew were all nestled all snug in their bunks

Except the first officer who was in a yule funk.

Christine in her robe and Bones in his cap.

Had just settled in for a late night nightcap.



When out in the hall there arose such a clatter.

He sprang from his lounge chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the bulk head he flew like a flash.

Christine behind him, in case it was rash



The dim light in the hall gave off an eerie glow

To a person in half shadow, his head hung low.

As McCoy clapped his shoulder what should appear?

But a miserable elf with a face full of tears.



Christine took over so lively and quick.

She knew in a moment that Spock was love sick.

She leaped upon him and thus he did came.

McCoy whistled and Spock shouted and called her by name.



Oh Christine! Oh Goddess! Oh Lover Untamed!

They did it on counter, on biobed, unashamed.

To the top of ecstasy, she held him enthralled.

He thrashed away, moaning, "Oh, Christine. Touch my balls."



As dry leaves before a wild hurricane fly.

When they met in the orgasm crashing onto their thighs.

So onto the floor they tumbled as in ecstasy they flew.

With nary a notice as McCoy, embarrassed, withdrew.



Without a backward glance as he felt the deck shook.

He purposefully put on music and opened a book.

As Christine withdrew and was turning around.

Fully erect Spock pounced upon her with a bound.



His chest was covered in thick fur, which tickled were they met.

And their bodies were all covered with hot musky sweat.

He flung her on her back and lovingly pet.

And he drove himself back in her when she was ready and wet.



His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like emeralds, his nose like holly berry!

His droll sexy mouth was drawn up like a bow,

Then his face went white, his mouth formed a soundless "Oh!"



As he started to pump Christine moaned and gritted her teeth,

And her hair sexily wet encircled her head like a wreath;

He cupped her face while he brushed her round little belly,

That shook when she came like a bowlful of jelly.



He rolled off her sated a right jolly old elf,

And she laughed when she saw him, in spite of herself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave her to know she would spend Christmas in bed.



He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And lifted her smoothly from the floor with a jerk,

And laying his fingers aside of her face.

He whisked her to his quarters in unseemly haste.



He sprang on her next, and Christine gave a low whistle,

And away they both flew like the down of a thistle.

But Kirk heard him exclaim, ere they passed out for the night.

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"