DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Catherine Kaufman and is copyright (c) 2000 by Catherine Kaufman. This story is Rated G.

How Do You Find Anything?

Catherine Kay

"Nurse Chapel, whose file is this?"

"Which file?"

"This file with the large X on it."

"Oh! That X-File?"

"I believe that is what I said."

"That isn't anyone's. It's a slush file."

"A slush file?"

"Yes. When we are overwhelmed in an emergency, we take inventory of what was used. If we can't figure out who it was used on, we put it in the slush file."

"I find that ethically questionable."

"Well, it gets around the acquisition codes for more supplies."

"You should write down everything that is done to a patient at the time it is done."

"I am too busy saving his/her life. I am a nurse not a stenographer."

"Hmmmph! You have been around Dr. McCoy too much."

"Miss Chapel, the Simpson's file has no ID number."

"Ok. Let me cross check.... Yes. Here it is. It is 321-46md."

"How did you figure that out?"

"His wife's file has the same ID number."

"His wife's file? Mr. Simpson's wife is not on board."

"Well, no, she isn't now. She came on board for the family tour and went into labor. She delivered a healthy baby boy. Since she isn't in Star Fleet we just used her husband's medical ID."

"I don't know how you and Dr. McCoy sleep at night."

"We sleep very well, thank you."

"Nurse Chapel, how do you and Dr. McCoy function in this disarray?"

"It's not disarray to us."

"Really? Then why are you 'organizing' the files. That would imply that they are unorganized."

"Look. You didn't have to volunteer to help me."

"I didn't volunteer. I was ordered to help you."

"Really? McCoy sent you?"

"No. The Captain ordered me here."


"He said that if he heard me say logical one more time that he would have to go see Dr. Frazier."

"In other words you were driving him nuts."

"I see no reason to stand here and be insulted."

"Except that you have been ordered too."

"Except that, yes."

"Well, Mr. Spock. It seems like you have been given a reprieve. I have been ordered to the E.R."

"What has happened?"

"One of the landing parties from one of the planets have some injured crewmen."

"Wait! Do you know which landing party?"

"No. But it was the one that was on the third rock from the sun."

"I see. I better report to the Bridge then."

"Guess so."

"Thanks for your help."

"Indeed. It has been a fascinating experience."