DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Catherine Kay and is copyright (c) 2000 by Catherine Kay. This story is Rated PG.
"Ok, now kiss me," instructed Christine to Spock.
Spock's eyebrows practically shot off his head and his mouth dropped open slightly. Nothing came out of it. He was speechless.
"You have to kiss her, Spock," Uhura said, sitting to Christine's right.
"I...I...I..." Spock stammered, still stunned. His heart was beating way too fast and he wished that the faces around the circle would stay in one place better.
"Yes indeedy!" grinned Dr. McCoy evilly, sitting to Spock's left. "You play, you pay!"
Looking for help, Spock mutely appealed to Jim Kirk seated at his right.
Jim shrugged back not totally without sympathy but enjoying Spock's total lapse. He shook his head at his panicked first officer and said, "Didn't your mother teach you anything about human culture?"
"This...This..." Fighting for composure, Spock tried one more time to finish a coherent sentence. "This cannot be part of human culture." His voice fairly shook with the tension in him. How did he get himself into this? he thought hysterically to himself.
It had started out innocently enough. A few days ago Dr. McCoy had been dressing down Spock in one of their "famous arguments". He accused Spock of racism towards humans. Spock had scoffed at his outrageous statement. But when he turned to glance at Jim, the Captain looked like he was seriously considering McCoy's accusation.
Realizing how dangerous this statement could be, he looked at Dr. McCoy in all seriousness and said, "Why would you say such a thing? I obviously have chosen to serve with humans, even over a Vulcan crewed ship. My friends are human, my mother is human and I participate in human holidays on board."
"Under protest, and a lot of whining usually," McCoy observed.
Spock shot him a dark glance and said, "I do not whine."
"Hmmph," was all Dr. McCoy said. McCoy crossed his arms and bounced on the balls of his feet and said, "You call humans names. Illogical, impulsive, overly emotional, undisciplined, even irrational. You imply that we are lazy and that Vulcans are superior in every way. You have insulted our belief systems and denigrated our pastimes. You automatically condemn what you have never participated in."
Jim looked at his first officer and said, "Bones has a point. You often say negative things out of hand about humans and human behavior."
"As does Dr. McCoy, I must point out and yet he is not being accused of being racist," Spock defended.
"I only call *you* names," McCoy shot back. "Not the whole Vulcan race."
"Well, Mr. Spock?" Jim said leaning forward. "Dr. McCoy does have a very good point and I think we need to address this issue. I can't have a first officer who thinks that the entire crew and maybe myself included is inferior."
Spock, wanting to put any doubts that his best friend might harbor against him to rest, said, "What do you suggest?"
Kirk seeing a fantastic opportunity for getting his first officer to loosen up a bit and take shore leave said, "I'll give it some thought and get back to you later."
Spock nodded and thoughtfully walked back to his post. He turned over in his mind whether there was a possibility that he had an innate bias against humans. Sighing he resolved to meditate on the subject for the next several days.
He was so preoccupied that he did not see the conspiratorial looks and grins that passed between the Captain and the Ship's Doctor.
The next day after a lunch meeting with all the department heads, McCoy and Jim stopped Spock at the door of the conference room and said, "Spock, the ship is going to Star base 14 for a quick engineering refit and I am taking advantage of the situation by giving the crew the equivalent of a weekend."
Spock's eyebrows lifted and he queried, "Weekend?"
Dr. McCoy said with a slightly smug expression, "Oh, I know it's a bit old fashioned. Only school children really get 'weekends' any more and that is really only during the summer sessions, but I thought that the crew could use a mini R&R."
Kirk chimed in, "I am ordering all shifts to do consecutive 2 days off."
"I will prepare the duty roster for the next 7 days for only two shifts on at a time then, sir."
Spock started to leave.
"Oh! One more thing. You will be spending the 'weekend' with Dr. McCoy and myself." Spock started to protest but Jim smoothly interrupted, "Spock, remember that little discussion on the bridge yesterday?" Spock sighed and closed his eyes and nodded. "Well, I am officially notifying you that this is my solution to the problem. You will spend the weekend with us and participate in any or all activities that are typically human."
"Did Dr. McCoy or you plan the activities?" Spock said tersely.
"Relax, Spock," McCoy drawled. "It was a joint effort."
It was Spock's turn to say, "Humph," and he turned and left realizing that he didn't really have a choice in this.
The next morning Spock was awakened by his door chime. He sat up and checked his internal chronometer: 0600. It was an hour earlier than he usually got up. He grabbed a robe and said, "Come."
In popped Dr. McCoy in his pajamas. "Hi! I came to get you. Jim is waiting down in rec room 9 for us."
Spock looked at McCoy with a puzzled expression on his face. "Doctor, you're wearing your pajamas."
"Yep, and so are you," replied McCoy. Spock's eyebrows shot up and not for the last time. "It's Saturday morning, remember!" McCoy said with a grin. "Time to watch really good cartoons and eat breakfast at the same time."
"I think I will dress first," Spock said his tone as cold as a deep cave.
"Nope ya can't," McCoy said. "You never watch cartoons with clothes on."
"Dr. McCoy, this is ridiculous!" Spock said.
"Uh uh uh." McCoy waggled a finger at the first officer. "This is tradition. You're lucky Jim toned it down and made it the kiddy version. I was going for a slug of beer every time the road runner beeped. Now, no whining and let's get moving. We're missing all the best parts."
To Spock that Saturday never seemed to end. Some of it wasn't too bad. He had rather enjoyed playing one on one with Jim in the afternoon. All of it, mercifully had been done sober ... until dinner, that is.
0500, Kirk's quarters: "Okay, let's wrap this Galaxy Quest game up," McCoy said.
"Yes, I suppose you are right," Jim said. "We have to get ready."
The game couldn't have ended soon enough for Spock. It had some interesting strategies, but galactic conquest had never been a dream of his and he just couldn't as Jim said, "Get into it."
"Ready? Ready for what?" Spock said, absolutely certain he didn't want the answer to that.
"Ready to go out on a date, of course," McCoy said smiling in anticipation of the reaction that was coming. He wasn't disappointed.
"Date! Date! I am not going out on a date!" Spock said very, very fast.
"Yes, you are," McCoy said smugly. "It's all arranged. This is Saturday night. Date night."
Spock felt his face get very warm and he started to have problems with his speech at this point. "Who...Who...Who.."
"Now stop sounding like an owl," Jim said teasingly and shooting McCoy a warning look not to take advantage of Spock's obvious discomfort added, "It's a group date, Spock."
"WHAT!" Spock lost all control as visions of orgies shot through his head.
"Take it easy," soothed McCoy. "A group date is basically a group of friends, where some might be couples and some not, just go out for dinner and dancing or a movie or a bar. No big deal, okay?"
Spock felt his blood pressure returning to normal. "Okay." He breathed it like a sigh of relief, which it practically was.
Dinner was uneventful. Christine and Nyota were the "dates." But since they didn't really pair off, Spock started to relax with it after awhile. It was kind of nice just talking to colleagues and getting to know them better. He had been unaware that Nyota had studied at Julliard's summer programs for highschool students. But he was not surprised. What had really surprised him was that Christine had a degree in biochemistry as well as a degree in literature. He mused that it made sense considering that she had been working with Dr. Korby at MIT. He had just always pictured her mooning at Dr. Korby in his lab all this time. He realized how unfair this image was of her.
"After all," he magnanimously thought,"except for her few lapses, she had never really spent all her time mooning at him."
"It's getting hot in here," he observed out loud.
"Is it really?" McCoy said with sparkling eyes over his after dinner drink.
"Yesss." Spock's speech was slightly slurred. "And that iss the oddessst thing too. Cause when we firssht got in here, it was chilly."
"Oh, well now that you mention it, I guess it is a little warmer. Must be all these candles on the tables," McCoy said with wicked innocence. He had been pouring more wine in Spock's glass all through dinner when the Vulcan hadn't been looking. He figured Spock had had about three glasses worth.
Spock nodded sagely, "Yess, I think you are right."
Uhura giggled and turned to the Captain and said, "Well what next?"
"Mmmm..." said Jim lost in thought. "I don't know. There is the gambling hall. They have one movie running but I think it's a children's feature if I remember right."
Christine wrinkled her nose at those suggestions and said, " I really don't feel like going to a Ferengi casino."
"Me, either," said McCoy. "Usually those games are rigged."
"I know, they have a huge botanical garden here. We could go for a walk?" Jim asked hesitantly.
"I know!" Uhura said excitedly. "Let's go back to the ship and do a slumber party!"
Christine almost squealed in delight, "
McCoy and Jim looked at Spock and said almost in unison, "What do you think?"
Spock who was feeling a little dizzy but not wanting to mention it said, "I think rest would be beneficial."
The rest of the three broke out laughing . He couldn't understand why.
Back on the ship, they had decided that the slumber party should take place in the Captain's quarters. Spock protested a little when he found out that a slumber party was definitely not about sleeping. Still they were kicking around the names of some interesting games -- Truth or Dare, seances, and finally Spin the Bottle. He had gotten to choose which game of the three of these and he chose Spin the Bottle as the safest of the three after telling them that he would not get drunk and they assuring him that it didn't include alcohol at all, just the empty bottle.
So now he found himself, slightly drunk, staring at Christine who had her eyes closed and her lips pursed leaning towards him across that damnable bottle. Spock looked back at McCoy and Jim like a condemned man going to the electric chair. He decided to get it over with quickly and gave her the briefest of kisses on the forehead.
"Not like that!" roared McCoy."Haven't you ever kissed anyone before?"
"Of course not, Doctor." Spock said a little self righteously.
"Fine. Bout time you learned how." And with that McCoy leaped forward grabbed a hold of the first officer and planted a huge wet one on the mouth.
Spock didn't know what was next but decided not to find out by taking some definitely heterosexual action. Holding his arms out to Christine he gasped, "Christine! Kiss Me! Quick!"