Disclaimer: Star Trek is the property of Paramount/Viacom. This filk is the property of and is copyright (c) 1979 by Bev Clark. Originally published in Guardian #2. Rated PG.
I WONDER WHAT THE VULCAN IS DOING TONIGHT
(to "I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight" by Lerner & Lowe, Camelot)
I wonder what the Vulcan is doing tonight?
What agony is the Vulcan enduring tonight?
The lights within his room have never burned so dim;
I wonder what the devil is bothering him.
How do the final hours
Till he sees the stony towers
Rising anciently above while he's prepared?
Well! I'll tell you what the Vulcan is feeling tonight--
He's scared! He's scared!
You mean that a man who braved a horta,
Thought to her while she was fixed with mortar,
Thinks of his bride with terror and distress?
An officer who's so calm in battle
Even his captain doesn't rattle
Faces his future petrified with fright?
You mean that appalling wail I hear,
That sounds like a banshee sailing near,
Is merely a song to make his feelings freeze?
You wonder what the Vulcan is wishing tonight--
To be in Engineering, fissioning, tonight.
What occupies his mind while he sits there so forlorn?
He's wondering in his soul why he was ever born!
And, oh, the expectation,
The relieved anticipation
He must feel that soon salvation will have come!
I'll tell you what the Vulcan is feeling tonight--
And that's what the Vulcan's doing tonight.